


A Bit of Advice

by wannaliveindeansdimples



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accountant Castiel, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angsty Schmoop, Bad Puns, Bees, Burgers - Freeform, Castiel and Bees, Correspondence, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fan Castiel, First Meetings, Lawyer Gabriel, Lawyer Sam Winchester, Letters, M/M, Masturbation, Naked Cuddling, Pen Pals, Protective Gabriel, Sappy, Schmoop, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Social Anxiety, Socially Awkward Castiel, Virgin Castiel, Wall Sex, Writer Dean, because the feels will have reduced you to a puddle, do not attempt to operate heavy machinery, door sex technically but that's not a tag, ice cream floats, implicitly stated naked butts, implied mmf, implied naked butts, implied polyamory, or be productive in any way after reading this, or so i have been informed, socially awkward dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:43:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 50,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2664041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannaliveindeansdimples/pseuds/wannaliveindeansdimples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean writes novels that don't pay the bills and an advice column under the name Deanna, which does. Castiel writes in to Deanna, looking for help. They both get more than they expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First contact

**Author's Note:**

> ### [EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that you may have problems reading this on a Kindle as a Mobi file because of the images that are embedded.  
>  If you are reading this on a phone (or Kindle) and have trouble viewing the pictures, here's the [Text Only version](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2664041/chapters/10774607).
> 
>   
>  [EDIT: [New fan art](http://instagram.com/p/yPgX70NU3k/?modal=true) by destiel_67! She even put this up as her fic of the week! *flails*]
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Click[here](http://iwannaliveindeansdimples.tumblr.com/private/114815059410/tumblr_nlwmvvsrG51sg52bk) ~~to view it as a tumblr post.~~~~  
>  ~~I am currently trying to find a work around for this. Please try~~[this link](http://iwannaliveindeansdimples.tumblr.com/private/106303905455/tumblr_nh8f3tVqDg1sg52bk) to view all the letter images for the fic (they are in order on the post) Thanks! The pictures ended up out of order, so that does not work.]  
>  This is an unbeta'd WIP. I never publish WIPs, but this time I am because this is an experiment. I really want your feedback on this, as far as where you'd like the story to go. I can't guarantee it _will_ go there, but I want to hear your hopes and ideas for it. Bear in mind, the first few chapters are already written and are unlikely to be changed significantly. However, your thoughts may ultimately change the course of the story. Think of it as a sort of bastardized "Choose your own adventure" fic. I will update on an irregular basis, after the first few chapters, which I will update over the course of the next week or so. Let the games begin!  
>  This is now complete, but thanks to all who came to play with me.  
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets his first letter from someone he nicknames "Tired."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has a lot more art than I expected. I apologize that the fic count is slightly inaccurate because of the letters being pics.
> 
> [Edit: Including a brand new (as of 12/16/14) piece of fan art from the lovely and talented [Featherfluff](http://archiveofourown.org/users/featherfluff/pseuds/featherfluff)!]

Dean had been reading and occasionally answering emails from whiny little babies all morning and he was thankful when the sound of the mail truck gave him an excuse for a break. He got up from his desk and walked outside, squinting against the unexpected glare. He walked to the mailbox barefoot, enjoying the feel of the sun-warmed grass under his feet.

He waved at his female neighbor across the street and the male one two doors down. He didn’t know either of their names or what they did for a living, but they waved when they saw each other and really that was good enough for Dean. It was the most social interaction he needed from non-family on a given day.

The box was mostly full of junk mail, but there was one actual letter in there, something forwarded from the home office of the newspaper. It was more and more rare these days, but occasionally, people still sent snail mail letters to his advice column. He was guessing this was one of those. Usually, it meant little old lady questions, but there were exceptions sometimes. Everything in the electronic age was traceable, so anyone who wanted to send him a question that was truly anonymous often went the US Mail route.

He tossed the junk mail in the trash, saving out only the coupons for the mom and pop restaurant down the street. Then he set the letter on the side of his desk to look at after lunch. He still had a mountain of emails to sort through, but he wanted a change. It seemed like all the questions he’d read so far were selfish and childish. He hoped the physical letter would bring something different, even if it was from a little blue hair in Nowhere, USA.

After an extended lunch watching bad reruns and eating decent leftover takeout, Dean finally forced himself back to his desk. He still had time yet before any of his columns were actually due, but he was scheduled for a vacation and he needed to get as many finished ahead of time as he could.

With a sigh of resignation, he withdrew his letter opener from the desk drawer and slit open first the editor’s crisp white envelope and then the creamy stationery envelope that was inside it. He glanced at the envelope and its return address. _Not about anonymity, then_ , he thought. Still, the person had not included their name.

The envelope, of course, was addressed to “Dear Deanna”. The editor had liked Dean’s writing and down to earth advice enough to hire him, but she hadn’t believed that readers would accept a male advice columnist. So Dean became Deanna and his wildly popular column was a major reason that his newspaper stayed afloat. He had been offered syndication, but that was a little bigger than he wanted to go.

The way things were, he didn’t have to hire anyone else to help him with the letter volume, but syndication would require it. He wasn’t interested in working with anyone else. He’d fallen into writing partially because it was a solitary position and the advice column offered him the ability to work from home.

Dean suddenly realized he was staring into space with the envelope still unopened in his hand. He shook himself and carefully drew out the folded piece of paper. As he read, he slowly leaned back in his chair, the words surprising him. Not an old lady and definitely not another bored suburbanite complaining about the neighbor whose dog had peed on her tires or gotten cut grass on his side of the walkway.

 

. . . 

Dean read the letter twice, then sat there for a long time, contemplating. Tired’s problems weren’t so very different from his own. He _did_ have friends, but they were all sort of grandfathered in. They’d all known him so long that they saw him a certain way and didn’t really allow him room to expand outside that pigeon hole.

Any change was met with teasing skepticism that Dean knew was probably well-meant, but he found it hurtful and tiring. Just once he would like to try something new in front of them without the inevitable “Oh, my God, you’re eating salad?! Is it the apocalypse?!”-style response he had come to expect.

Without really thinking about it too much, he grabbed some paper and a pen and started writing a response.

 

. .  

He hesitated for a moment and added the “na” to make his name Deanna. He couldn’t risk giving away his identity, no matter how much he liked the person’s letter. He couldn’t even tell if it was a woman or a man. The handwriting was loopy and pretty, but that didn’t really mean anything.

He read it through a couple of times and decided he was satisfied with it. Then he folded it and put it in an envelope. He addressed it and put the PO Box that he used for his other writing mail as his return address. That reminded him that he needed to go check that mail before he left for vacation.

Since he still wasn’t in the mood to read any more emails right now, he decided he’d go down to the post office, grab the mail from the box and mail his letter to “Tired” at the same time. He grabbed a stamp and his wallet and keys and headed out to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me and tell things. ♥


	2. Tropical Contact High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets his vacation at last, but loneliness interferes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your lovely comments on the previous chapter. In this installment, you will not find even a smidgen of Destiel and for that I apologize. However, there are important things happening here that I hope you will enjoy instead (if not as much).

_Finally_ , he thought. The vacation he and Sam and Jess were on was perfect. He was sitting on the beach in Pacifica, watching his brother and his brother’s girlfriend build a sandcastle. Every few minutes, one of them would say something sarcastic and they’d end up flinging wet sand at each other. Dean just grinned, enjoying not being at home.

He hadn’t seen his brother in a while and Dean really enjoyed spending time with him. They’d always been close and Dean liked Jess a lot, too. She was feisty and didn’t let Sam get away with anything. Since one of Dean’s great joys in life was giving his brother shit, he and Jess got along famously. Of course, she didn’t let Dean get away with anything, either, but that was a small price to pay.

The waiter brought their lunch and drinks then and Dean took his plate with a huge smile on his face. As he expected, Sam gave him shit for ordering a burger, but he was ready with a surprise for his smartass little brother.

“It just so happens that I ordered the black bean jerk burger with avocado slices, alfalfa sprouts and dairy-free cheese.”

Sam’s eyebrows rose into his hairline, but then he smiled.

"Let me know if it's good, then," was all he had to say. 

And that was how his brother differed from his friends. They would have made a big deal out of it. Sam just took it in stride that Dean could not only make new choices but also better ones. Sam believed in him. It was nice. 

"Blech, avocados are gross," Jess said, sticking her tongue out in comic disgust. "You're letting your brother corrupt you to his weird vegetable ways, Dean. I'm so disappointed in you. What happened to solidarity, man?"

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you! I mean if he sees me eating it, it makes him too happy to pick on you for...whatever the hell that is," Dean teased, motioning at her plate with a baked sweet potato fry. 

"Uhhuh. I'm not buying it for a second. And this is a steak, smothered in mushrooms and onions. Those are the only vegetables allowed with my red meat besides potatoes. Leave the carrots and all that green shit for when we're having chicken." She made another face as she took in Sam's baked chicken and steamed veggies. 

"I did," Sam pointed out, smirking.  "And mushrooms are a fungus, not a vegetable. Eat your fungus-covered meat and enjoy your clogged arteries."

Dean just grinned as he continued eating his relatively tasty not-burger. "I've missed you two," he told them sincerely, shaking his head. 

The rest of their time went much the same, except for the few times the couple asked to have private date nights. Dean didn't begrudge them their couple time, but those nights were mostly spent at loose ends and he didn't enjoy them. 

The first time, he'd gone down to the tiki bar and eventually met a hot brunette. They'd seemed to be hitting it off until a gay couple walked by holding hands. When she expressed some homophobic thoughts on the issue, he informed her he'd rather suck a dick than listen to a bigot and headed back to his room alone. 

The second night alone, he didn’t even try to pick anyone up, he just had a long-winded debate with the bartender over which Indiana Jones movie was the best and why. He might have hit on the bartender, but the guy had mentioned having a girlfriend. So Dean left it alone, even though he got distinctly not-so-straight vibes.

The third date night, he half-heartedly chatted up a cute blond. The guy was all right, but they weren’t really making a connection. Dean considered sleeping with him anyway, but then he called Dean “Daddy” and Dean went home alone a third time.

“Oh for three,” he murmured as he sat on his bed and removed the black button up he’d worn to the bar.

He fell back onto the bed and felt old, remembering when it all used to be so easy: Go to bar, find person to flirt with, get laid, go home, repeat.

At some point, though, he’d realized that wasn’t what he wanted anymore. He wanted someone who could still be there the next morning without his stomach filling with regret. He wasn’t finding them at the bar and he worked alone. He wasn’t willing to get set up and he didn’t use the internet for more than he had to. That left him with few options.

He fell asleep thinking about how nice it would be to just lie next to someone. He nearly regretted not sleeping with the pretty boy with the Daddy issues, just because it might have meant not being alone. In his gut, though, he knew that was no longer enough to satisfy him – if it ever really had been.

Luckily for him, the couple had apparently had enough date nights and the rest of the vacation was spent in their company, not feeling lonely in the slightest. Except maybe sometimes, when they kissed or held hands. Still, it wasn’t as bad as those nights without them.

* * *

 

When he got back home from two weeks in tropical paradise, he was barely inside the house before his phone started ringing. His editor was calling and she was frantic. He’d sent in enough columns to last him through the next week after he got back. Apparently however, the last several files he had sent her – including the one for the next day’s column – were all corrupted and unusable.

“Shit, all right, let me send them again. Gimme five minutes, I literally just got back from the airport.”

So he tossed his bags into the bedroom to be unpacked later and he booted up the laptop. He sent another email with the files attached and then went in search of food. He hadn’t even gotten the fridge open when she called back.

“The files are corrupted. Unless the email screwed them up twice, it’s got to be the files themselves. You’d better check them. If they’re corrupted, you’ve got to get me something to post tomorrow no later than 5pm.”

Sure enough, when he tried to open the files, Windows informed him that it was unable to open the them.

Using a lot of swear words, he set out to recreat them from memory. It had been over two weeks, but thankfully his recall of things he’d read and written was exceptional. He didn’t rewrite them word for word, he knew, but rereading the questions – which he had thankfully kept – brought it back to him enough that writing a new column only took him about half the time it would have starting from scratch.

Still, it was nearly five by the time he sent it off. He wasn’t happy about any of this at all. He’d written extra so that he could get ahead, not fall behind and have to do double the work for no more money. Next time he took off, he would suggest that she reuse old columns. He had asked about it this time, but she’d thought it was better not to start rehashing until he’d been writing the column for at least three years.

Both of them were no doubt regretting the decision now.

Instead of the relaxing evening with Indiana Jones he had intended, Dean decided there was no reason not to go ahead and write up the next column. That way he could maybe get caught up again by the end of the next day and have a couple of days to breathe when it was over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Please share them. Don't make me beg. ~~I will totally beg~~ ♥


	3. Your mailbox is nearing capacity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets caught up on work and correspondence. A letter from Tired makes a rainy day less dreary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now back to our regularly scheduled Destiel and letter-writing.

Unfortunately, he learned the next morning that the corrupted files were caused by some kind of problem in his software, which he ended up having to completely remove and then reinstall. Because of that and the rewrites, he wasn’t able to get to the post office to get his fan mail until Saturday. The box was stuffed almost to capacity, so Dean was grateful he hadn’t had to leave it any longer. The volume of mail always made him a mix of happy and sad.

He’d made a bad deal when he’d signed on with his first publisher, so his royalties had never equaled what they should have, considering his obvious continued popularity. Not a week went by that he didn’t get at least one letter or package – and more often it was every day.

He stuffed the envelopes and packages into the tote he’d brought in for the purpose and walked back out to his car, grimacing as it started to rain. He considered stopping to read some before heading back, to give the rain a chance to die down. When the rain came down even harder, he decided that was the best choice.

The packages he would take to Charlie to analyze before opening them. He’d never had a problem, but there was always a first time. She’d x-ray them and have her dog sniff them and only then let him open them up.

He pulled a few letters out at random. He didn’t answer all of them personally. Quite often, he just plugged their name into a form letter, printed and signed it. Sometimes they asked for a picture and he would sign a headshot of the model they’d used to pretend to be him and send it on.

The few really touching letters, those he would respond to with a real letter. Usually not a long one, but one that was specific to the person and their situation. Since he didn’t do book signings, this was his contribution to the fans. Personal attention. He thought it mattered.

The first few letters were pretty basic stuff, all along the lines of “Just had to tell you how much I enjoyed [insert book title here] and what a great author I think you are.” Those would all get the form letter.

Then he reached at random and drew up two new letters. The first was a standard envelope, but behind it he saw a flash of cream. All at once, he remembered the letter he had written before he left for vacation. Sure enough, in the upper right corner, the return address said “Tired.”

He set the white envelope aside and slid his thumb into the corner of the flap of the cream one. Right away, he could tell that this letter was longer and that made him happy. If he was honest, it made him happy just to see that Tired had written back at all. It was nice to know his suggestion wasn’t considered too creepy or weird.

 

 

Dean was smiling by the time he finished. Tired’s loneliness didn’t make him happy, but the rest of the letter – and the way Tired had talked about being maudlin – had a rhythm to it and a way about it that was hard not to like. Dean found himself anxious to get home so that he could write back.

The rain, however, had other ideas. It beat down even harder against the windshield than it had been before Dean had decided to wait it out. So, instead of heading home, he set Tired’s letter aside for the moment and grabbed a few more pieces of fan mail.

An hour later he was finally inside, with the fan mail and Tired’s letter spread out on the table. The packages he left in the car until he could take them to Charlie. He decided on business before pleasure, so he worked on responding to all the fan mail he’d already opened before he started a response to Tired.

He typed and printed and signed for half an hour before he got all the open ones taken care of. He considered opening and responding to a few more, but he’d had a rough week and felt like he deserved a few minutes to himself before getting back to it. Not that he didn’t enjoy fan letters, but having to respond to all of them was definitely work.

When he was finally done, he realized it was lunchtime. So he ate a sandwich and thought about everything he wanted to ask or tell Tired about. By the time he'd eaten the last bite and washed his hands, he thought he was ready. 

 

 

Dean hesitated, but went ahead and changed his name to Deanna again. He figured they might assume he was a guy, anyway, because of the car stuff – even though Dean knew lots of chicks who worked on cars – but he figured they should wait a while before getting into anything that important.

He wondered again if Tired was male or female. It didn’t matter, but it was an interesting question. Even if he listened to societies versions of gender roles, there were indicators for both, so it was pointless to try and figure it out. They’d talk about it when and if they talked about it. Until then, he would just enjoy the connection they were making.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Musings? ♥


	4. Fanboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets a letter he never expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really surprised me.  
> I really want to hear from you on this one, darlings. At least, I think I do...

Working through the weekend made the next week slightly less stressful than the previous one and Dean was able to get ahead so that he wasn’t writing columns on the day or even the day before. By the following Saturday, he had managed to get a week ahead again, which was where he liked to stay. If he could get ahead of _that_ , even better.

He and his editor also came up with a solution to reduce the likelihood of any additional lost files, which made him feel a little more at ease. Now, whenever he finished a column, he would paste the text into the body of the email, as well as attaching the file. Hopefully his software wouldn’t crash again, but in case it did, they were ready. If only other life problems were so easy to solve.

Dean also managed to finish up all the fan mail responses and get them ready to mail. When he picked up the mail on Saturday and there was no creamy envelope, he tried to tell himself not to be disappointed. Tired had had to wait several weeks for his own response, after all. Still, it was hard not to feel let down.

When he got back home, he set the bag of letters, much smaller than the previous batch, on the kitchen table and made himself some lunch. He ate while he read the first small stack. They were all relatively the same, except for the one woman who had thought Dean’s picture (of the model) was hot and enclosed a picture of her own – a topless selfie. She was going to get a personalized letter, but not for the reasons she probably expected. He set her letter aside in a different pile.

When he pulled the next letter out of the pile, he didn’t pay much attention, except to note that he liked the deep blue color of it. A brief glance showed it had been addressed with a gel pen to make the ink visible, but the actual address was obscured by the forwarding label, so it had been sent to his publisher instead of him. That meant it was for an older copy of an older book, rather than one of the newer ones, which all had his PO box listed.

He slid the letter opener into the flap to reveal a slightly lighter color of paper. When he opened it up, he was a little shocked – and bit nervous that he was being stalked – by what he found. He recognized the handwriting right away. It was Tired. What the hell was going on? He started reading.

 

 

After finishing the letter, Dean just sat there at his table for a few minutes, stunned. Not being stalked, then. A coincidence. If he believed in fate…but he didn’t. Should he hide who he was? He read the letter through again, but was no closer to knowing what to say. Instead, he set it with the naked lady letter and decided to keep going through the mail for now, rather than trying to write back.

He went through another half dozen before he got to another blue envelope. It was addressed with the same gel ink, but it was only when Dean saw that the top right corner said Tired that he realized it was addressed to Dear Deanna and not to D. Smith.

He opened the letter and saw it was dated the same day as the one for his book. He was confused and felt like he’d been drinking. Smoothed the thick blue pages down against the table and began to read.

 

 

Dean put down the letter, reeling. Somehow, this Castiel had not only ended up with his book, but loved it enough to write a fan letter, and also a letter to his not-yet-friend suggesting that he read said book. And it was such an old copy that it had the wrong address and no picture of the model.

It was surreal was what it was. Especially given how much of himself Dean had poured into that particular novel. He knew the best thing for him right now was to walk away from it and do something else.

He set all the letters aside and went into the living room. He could do some more letters or even columns later, but right now, it was movie time. His car could use some TLC, too, but he wasn’t in the mood to get dirty right now. No, what he wanted was some good ole Spirk. He decided to start with the series instead of the movies. More stories that way.

Two hours later, he’d seen a variety of aliens and a lot of sexual tension, but he was feeling no better. Something Tired/Castiel had said was really getting to him and wouldn’t leave him alone. A few things, really. The guy – was it a guy? Whoever, the _person_ , Castiel wished that Dean could have coffee with him/her. Because Dean’s book meant that much, had moved him/her that much.

Suddenly, Dean knew what he had to do. He headed back to the table and took paper and a pen with him. He sat down and began to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me that you love me, Junie Moon ♥


	5. The Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean moves ahead with his plan to contact Tired/Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all convinced I'm going to cause you great pain with this fic. You have so little faith in me...or you think I'm just predictable because _one time_ ~~lots of times~~ I wrote an angsty thing...XD

Castiel had had a long day at the office and he didn’t want to spend another night doing the same old things. Therefore, on his way home from the office, he had stopped by and picked up the full series of Indiana Jones movies, as suggested by Dear Deanna. He was looking forward to watching them while he ate his take-out Thai food.

He grabbed the mail and then carefully made his way to the house with his burdens. He envelopes reminded him he still needed to write back to Dear Deanna to answer the letter she had sent him. It had been rather rude of him not to answer her and he hoped she wasn’t upset.

He put the bag of Thai on the table and got down a plate. He took the mail and the movies and put them on the coffee table, then went back to the kitchen and prepared his meal. They hadn’t included chopsticks, so he had to get a pair of his own. He decided a glass of wine was in order and he poured that up, too.

He ate while he watched the first movie. It was far more interesting – and more disgusting – than he’d really expected. He had enjoyed it enormously. He thought he might be ready to write back to Deanna and tell her how much he’d liked it, as well as responding to the rest of her letter.

So thinking, he pulled the new mail off the coffee table to sort through it and, to his surprise, he found another letter from Deanna waiting for him. If he thought the letter’s existence was unexpected, he was doubly surprised by the contents.

 

 

Castiel felt flushed and anxious. He didn’t know what to do. This was all so unexpected. For the first time that he could remember, he wanted his brother’s advice. What a terrifying thought _that_ was.

“Hey, little brother! Everything ok? You don’t normally call me unless I’ve called you first, so I admit, I’m a little worried.”

“Gabriel,” Castiel said and then sighed. “I need your help.”

Gabriel’s voice was grave as he said, “Ok, seriously, Castiel, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”

Castiel laughed. “It’s nothing bad. It’s just that I…met someone. Well, sort of. It’s complicated.”

Castiel proceeded to tell Gabriel the whole story, starting with his letter to Dear Deanna. Gabriel actually listened without interrupting, apparently realizing if he made a joke of this Castiel would never come to him for advice again. When he was finished, his brother hummed for a long moment.

“Wow, Castiel, that’s…weird. And kind of amazing. If you’re asking me if you should go to that diner, the answer is yes, abso-freaking-lutely. Get your ass over there on time and meet this guy.”

“Are you sure? I mean, it’s all a bit strange, don’t you think?”

“Castiel, have you met yourself? _You’re_ a bit strange. What are the odds of all this, huh? I mean the whole thing, from having your letter make the guy write and basically say ‘let’s be friends’ to me giving you that book and then it turns out the first guy is also the author and just…wow, Castiel. I mean, how often do you love things I give you, huh? That’s rare enough by itself.”

Castiel had to concede that that was true. “What even made you choose that book?”

“A friend of mine was talking about it. Raving really. And I happened to see it at a flea market, so I grabbed it for you. We both know _I_ wasn’t gonna read it,” he said with a laugh that Castiel matched.

“You really think I should go?” He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it one more time. He needed to be convinced that what he wanted was the right thing.

“Hell yes, I think you should go.”

Castiel had a sudden realization. “He didn’t ask if I was male or female,” he murmured.

“What? He doesn’t know you’re a guy?” Gabriel asked, incredulous.

“No. I mentioned it in my last letter and said I would tell him, if he wanted to know, but…he didn’t ask. He just told me that he was male and asked me to meet him.” Castiel’s eyes were wide in wonder.

“Wow, Castiel. The only other person I know who wouldn’t care is, well, you. Lock that shit down.” There was rustling on the line and then Gabriel said, “Hey, listen, bro, I gotta skedaddle, but let’s talk again soon, all right? Love ya!” With that, he hung up, not waiting for a reply.

Castiel reflected on Gabriel’s words – and Dean’s – for a very long time. In the end, he went to bed, still not quite sure what was happening to his life. As he lay there in the dark, he tried to guess what Dean might look like. He finally gave it up as a lost cause and tried to imagine what they might talk about over coffee. That was much easier to picture and with those pleasant thoughts, he was asleep within minutes.

For the first time since he’d started his current job, the weekend came far too soon. On Saturday, he woke up much too early and spent the day trying to prepare himself for the afternoon. He tried on at least a dozen outfits – even though he normally cared little about how his clothes made him look – and finally opted for a short-sleeved black button up with a bright blue tie and his favorite jeans.

He did the best he could with his hair, but it looked like he’d just rolled out of bed, no matter what he did, so he gave up. He considered his trench coat, but it really wasn’t the weather for it, so he left it behind, grabbing his smaller jacket of the same color instead.

He found the diner easily, smiling at the walrus statue on the sidewalk across the street. He found a spot and parked, noting that he was a few minutes early. He made himself get out and walk to the door. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and walked inside.

Rosie was standing there and he managed to tell her why he was there. She smiled at him sweetly and grabbed a menu and silverware. As she led him down the aisle, he caught sight of the most beautiful man he’d ever seen sitting at the booth farther away. He thought it was a shame that wasn’t Dean, and tried to guess who was.

Then he realized that the beautiful man was the only person sitting alone and that Rosie wasn’t stopping at any other booths.

The man turned from the window he'd been staring out of as he noticed Rosie's approach. A smile lit up his moss green eyes and took Castiel's breath. Castiel smiled back, shyly. 

"Here you go. I'll be back in a few to get your order. Dean, you need more coffee, hon?"

Castiel barely registered her words, so focused was he on the man in front of him. Realizing he was staring he dropped his eyes to the table and slid onto the seat. When he looked up again Dean was still smiling at him. 

"So, Castiel - did I say that right?" At Castiel's nod, he continued. "I'm really glad you made it. I really didn't know if you would."

Castiel smiled again. “I wasn’t sure myself. This whole situation is very strange,” he admitted with a small shrug.

“Yeah, tell me about it. When I saw your letter to D. Smith, I wondered if I had a stalker on my hands!” Dean confessed with a chuckle. “But then I realized you obviously had no idea who I was.” He laughed and glanced out the window. “You know, it’s kinda funny. I was actually disappointed when I got the mail because I didn’t see any cream colored envelopes.”

Castiel’s smile broadened into something much less nervous. “I was very excited to see one from you so quickly.” He laughed. “Terrified of the contents, but excited.” He wet his lips. “I wasn’t sure what to do, but my brother convinced me showing up here was the best thing. I don’t believe in fate, but coincidences like this are hard to put down to chance.”

Dean nodded, pursing his lips. “Yeah, that was kinda what I thought, too.” When the silence stretched for a moment, Dean fiddled with his silverware and said, “So, uh, you really liked the book?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your message after the beep.
> 
> # BEEP!
> 
> ♥


	6. Falls Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their time at the diner continues and then things change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by me! It took a massive amount of time, but I'm pretty happy with it. I've actually been to the places listed in this and the previous chapter and I've got the pics to prove it. Bonus, Dean and Cas have been there, too! :) I ♥ Sioux Falls.

Castiel’s face lit up at the question. “Yes, Dean, I loved it! The way you talked about family and being alone and how it got easier but not better…It spoke to me, Dean. All of it. It was like reading my own thoughts and experiences.” Castiel smiled with self-mockery. “I suppose that might make me narcissistic.”

Dean smiled at him, trying not to get lost in those penetrating blue eyes. “Nah, I don’t think so. I think being able to write things that people can relate to is one of my goals as a writer.” He saw the waitress heading back their way. “Oops, here’s Rosie. I know what I want, but you should probably check the menu.”

“I will just have whatever you are having. I am not a picky eater.”

Dean grinned at his new friend. “You sure about that?” When Castiel nodded, he shrugged. “You want coffee, too?”

“Yes, please.”

“Hey, boys, you ready to order?” Rosie asked with a smile as she approached, pen and pad out.

“We are both going to have a Spicy G with sweet potato fries and a Purple Cow. And he’ll also have a coffee.” He smiled at Rosie and she smiled back.

“I’ll get that coffee right out to you and your orders won’t be long, fellas.” She patted Castiel on the shoulder as she left.

“I suppose since I said I’d eat whatever, I don’t get to ask what a Spicy G and a Purple Cow are, do I?” Castiel asked, making Dean laugh. “Back to the book, though, I definitely related to it. I lost my parents not long after I graduated college and my brother was all I had for a long time.”

He laughed, but there was an echo of sadness in it. “I was so angry when they died because here they had made me study business and accounting when I didn’t want to and now that I was done, they were gone and it didn’t matter. They weren’t going to be around to see me doing what they wanted, so I could have followed my dream of studying bees instead.”

Dean nodded thoughtfully. “Ok, so I should tell you, Laughing was a book I wrote when I was in a bad place. Well, just coming out of a bad place. Writing it helped me tremendously. I lost my parents, too, but earlier than you did. My mom first and then my dad. Losing her was harder because not only was she gone, but it changed him, too. And nothing I did was ever, ever good enough.”

"I'm sorry, Dean. It makes sense now why your book spoke to me. You and I have somewhat similar pasts, I suppose."

"I'm sorry about your parents, too, Castiel. You really never thought about going back, studying...what was it?...Mellitology? Or was it a financial thing?"

Castiel sighed. "No, not financial. This...it probably won't make sense to you, but...I don't have to work. I do it because I don't want to feel like my parents...I don't know. It's hard to explain."

"You don't want to fail and give them the satisfaction, even though they're gone," Dean guessed. 

"Yes! Exactly that. It's stupid, though. It is so childish. I hate my job and I could easily go back to school. Not many people have that option - and I'm squandering it," Castiel lamented. 

"You're scared."

Castiel nodded. "I'm scared."

Rosie arrived then with Castiel's coffee and their Purple Cows. Dean laughed in delight at Castiel's bemused expression. 

"Trust me, Cas. They're awesome. I don't like grape soda or vanilla ice cream and I love them." 

He watched as Castiel took a hesitant sip, trying to ignore just how sexy he suddenly realized the guy was. He had thought he was good looking when he walked in, but somehow getting to know him was making Dean's attraction stronger. 

"Your burgers will be out in just a few, boys," Rosie promised with a smile as she walked away. 

Castiel's eyes widened over the straw. "It's delicious!" He shook his head wonderingly and prepared his coffee. He drank a large swallow of it before setting it back down. 

"So tell me more about yourself, Dean. What do you do besides watch movies and - Oh! Before I forget, I actually watched 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' the day I got your invitation to coffee." Dean watched as he took another long sip of his ice cream float. 

Dean grinned. "Yeah? What'd you think? Great, right?"

Castiel nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I enjoyed it very much. I find Indiana Jones a fascinating character. He has brains and brawn." Castiel glanced down and fiddled with his napkin. "Much like you, it would seem. I can see why you like the movies so much."

Once again, they were interrupted by Rosie, but Dean hardly noticed her as she set down plates and checked on the need for ketchup and other items. He answered by rote, all his attention honed in on Castiel D'Angelo. A very sexy, interesting man who apparently felt the same way about Dean. 

"I love cheeseburgers. Letting you choose was a good call," Castiel told him with a grin. 

Dean cleared his throat and focused back on his burger. "Wait till you taste it. It's amazing. You won't even need the mayo, trust me," he told Castiel, gesturing at the small metal cup of speckled white sauce. 

He watched Castiel's face as they each took a bite. Castiel's eyes closed and the corners of his mouth tilted up as he chewed with obvious relish. 

"Dean, oh my goodness. You were right. Amazing is the word."

Dean smiled around the spicy fried pickles he was chewing and grabbed a fry to eat when that bite was finished. He washed it down with float followed by coffee. 

"You know, Castiel. I eat here all the time, but I don't think I've ever enjoyed it quite this much." He hoped his sincerity was clear on his face as he smiled at Cas. 

It must have been because Castiel looked up at him and froze, looking stunned. Then a huge smile broke across his face that Dean couldn't help but answer. 

"I've never eaten here before, but this is the most enjoyable meal I can remember having in years. Thank you for inviting me," he said quietly, dropping his eyes as he grabbed a couple fries. "Thank you for writing back to me."

Dean, unable to think of anything clever to say, just smiled. He sipped his float and added more soda from the bottle when the straw started to make noise. He ate a few fries and searched for a new topic of conversation. Castiel seemed at a similar loss, but he finally spoke first. 

"This really is delicious, Dean. I've lived here for years and never knew about this place. I will have to come here more often." He swallowed and then looked up nervously. "Perhaps we can meet here again sometime?"

Dean's grin was huge and hurt his cheeks and probably looked ridiculous, but he didn't care. "That'd be awesome. I'd like that." He ate another bite of his burger and then said, "You know, you're honestly not as awkward as I expected. You seem pretty normal to me," he told the blue-eyed man with a lopsided smile. 

Castiel smiled and said, "I am certainly glad you think so. You put me more at ease than I might have expected," he confessed. 

Dean nodded as he finished his latest bite of food. “Same here. I don’t know if it’s the letters or what, but I feel pretty comfortable with you. I mean, I know there’ve been awkward pauses or whatever, but on the whole…” He smiled and shrugged as he finished his float.

Dean stared at their rapidly emptying plates and realized he didn’t want Castiel to leave yet. He didn’t want to go home alone yet. He bit his lip, hesitating and then plunged forward. “So, hey, if you’re not busy today, after we eat, would you wanna do something else? Like, I dunno, maybe go to the falls or whatever?”

Castiel’s face lit up in a grin that showed almost as much gum as tooth. “I’d really like that. I’ve always thought the falls seemed like a romantic place,” he said, then flushed and ducked his head, embarrassed.

Dean smiled and reached forward, grabbing hold of Castiel’s hand. “Sounds good to me, Cas,” he said softly, stroking his thumb across the back of Castiel’s knuckles. When Castiel’s head whipped up in hopeful surprise, Dean smiled at him.

Neither ate much after that and once they’d paid and Dean had hugged Rosie goodbye, they agreed to take Dean’s car to Falls Park. Castiel seemed fascinated by the vehicle, as if he’d never seen a classic car up close. Maybe he hadn’t, Dean supposed.

“Dean, this truly is a beautiful automobile. I would never believe how old it is, if I didn’t know,” Castiel enthused, running his hand along the front seat lovingly.

Dean suddenly wanted to know how that hand would feel on him. He cleared his throat and turned his eyes forward as he started the car.

“Uh, thanks, man. I do love my baby. I’m pretty proud of the restoration and keeping her looking nice.”

Castiel continued to compliment - and ask questions about - the car as they drove, so they didn’t lack for conversation. Soon Dean was passing the Silver Moon Lounge and heading up the driveway to the parking lot. Considering the time and the day, the park was not as crowded as Dean had expected. He walked around to Castiel’s side of the car and waited for him to close the door.

They walked to the right, up toward the highest point of the falls, the thundering sound getting louder as they got closer. Castiel stopped to look at the various markers, but then they reached a picturesque spot by the fence and both men stopped to admire the view.

Without even stopping to think about it, Dean reached out for Castiel’s hand and turned to smile at him as he took it. When he turned back, Castiel’s head was suddenly on his shoulder. He smiled even wider and leaned his own head against Castiel’s mop of dark hair. He resisted the urge to kiss the top of his head, but only just. They weren’t quite there yet, though.

After a few long, wonderful moments, they both started walking down toward the bottom half of the top of falls, where colored and weathered boulders lay. They did not let go of each other’s hands. They stepped out onto a large rock and Dean took their picture. Then they walked down and across the overlook before heading over to a park bench to sit for a while.

“It’s lovely here,” Castiel said as Dean separated their hands at last.

“Yeah, it really is. Romantic, too, just like you said,” Dean told him in a quiet voice. He took the hand he’d been using to hold Castiel’s and slid his arm around the man instead, staring into his eyes.

Castiel stared back like he was getting paid for it by level of intensity. It made Dean smile and he saw Castiel’s eyes crinkle at the corners, though his full lips barely moved.

“This is nice, Dean. It’s been a really good afternoon.” He laughed and looked back out over the falls. “I don’t really want it to end,” he confessed.

Dean shrugged. “So spend the rest of the day with me. We can hang out here a while, drive around, do whatever. Then later we can have some dinner, maybe watch a movie? You haven’t seen Temple of Doom yet, right?”

Castiel looked at him, obviously pleased but surprised. “I would really enjoy all of that, Dean. Have you, um, ever been to Palisades?”

“The state park? Yeah, when I was a kid, I think? You wanna go there next? They’ve got an old bridge or something, right?”

“Yes, they do. I’d like to go there, but sitting here for a while is good, too,” he said, the smile saying he meant it.

Dean pulled him closer and leaned their heads together. “So tell me about bees, Cas. What makes them so amazing, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter is finished, at the moment, so now is the time if you want to put in suggestions, my dears. If not, we'll just see where it goes. Reading comments so far has given me a few more ideas, so I can go either way. ♥


	7. Into everyone's life, a little pie must fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel decides to be helpful and Dean decides to make dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is nothing much here except tooth-rotting schmoop. Well, there's a tiny, infinitesimal thing that could be considered vaguely smut-like. And a smidgen of humor and maybe a splash of kissy-face. But mostly schmoop.

As soon as he was back inside his house, Castiel leaned against the door and closed his eyes. He’d had the most amazing day and he still couldn’t believe it. Dean was…well, he was gorgeous and funny and smart and sweet and wonderful.

Not to mention that he tasted like heaven.

They’d spent a long time talking about bees and then they’d discussed Dean’s book some more. After that, there’d been dinner and finally the movie. They had kept things chaste for most of the night, but when the movie was over and they were not quite cuddled up on the couch, Dean had finally looked into Castiel’s eyes and gone in for a kiss. It, too, had been chaste to begin with, but the burst of pure want that sparked between them had quickly escalated into roaming hands and grinding hips.

Castiel could have contentedly kissed Dean for hours, but he wasn’t ready for more than that yet. It had been years and, while his body longed for it, he knew he was too at risk of emotional complications. So he had reluctantly pulled away and Dean had let him go – after a few more mind-blowing kisses, anyway.

Castiel smiled at the memory, briefly touching his lips. He pushed himself away from the door and put his keys and wallet on the side table. Then he stripped off and hung up his jacket and toed off his shoes. He made his way to the bathroom and removed the rest of his clothes, turning on the shower.

He stopped for a moment to lift his shirt to his face and indulge in the scent of Dean. Then he dropped all his clothes into the hamper and got under the spray. As he soaped himself up, he told himself that he wasn’t going to think about Dean and get off. His resolve lasted until he touched his cock and found that, while not hard, it was still heavy enough to hang down lower than usual.

Because he was thinking of the dirtiest things he would love Dean to do to him, it was over very quickly. He let the water run over him like a lover’s embrace while he came down from the bliss, then finished rinsing off and ended the shower. He wasted no time crawling into bed once he was dry, falling asleep remembering Dean’s hand in his.

****

“So how did it go?” Gabriel asked without preamble when he answered his phone. “Was he nice? Are you going to see him again?”

Castiel laughed at his brother’s enthusiasm. “Yes, he’s nice. Yes, I’m going to see him again. It went…well, to be honest, it was amazing. He’s everything I could have hoped from reading his letters and his book.”

There was genuine pleasure in Gabriel’s voice when he said, “That’s really good to hear, Castiel. I’m happy for you.” Then Castiel could hear him clap and his tone grew more neutral. “So. From what my friends said, this guy’s books are pretty popular. So why’s he still writing that column. Is it an ego thing?”

“No, he says he made a bad deal when he first got published and he doesn’t get a lot of royalties.” Castiel chewed his lip. “You know, he personally answers all his fan mail?” Shaking his head, he said, “I don’t know what kind of deal he made, but he gets fan letters every single day, so his books must sell reasonably well.”

“And did you tell him your gorgeous brother was a brilliant entertainment lawyer?”

“Gabriel, I’m sure he can’t afford your fees,” Castiel said in exasperation.

Gabriel scoffed. “Do you really have so little faith in me, kiddo? I would do it pro bono. Then, once he’s gotten the money he deserves, he can keep me on retainer. It’s win-win.”

“You would really do that?” Castiel asked, humbled. “I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“Eh, it’s ok. I’m kind of a schmuck half the time.” If he’d been in person, Castiel knew Gabriel would have winked.

Castiel just laughed. “I will speak with him about it and give him your contact information. Fair enough?”

“Fair enough. Later, bro.”

“Love y-“ Castiel started, but Gabriel hung up in the middle.

Though he wanted to call Dean immediately, he forced himself to wait until the afternoon. He found his heart rate increasing with every digit pressed, until it was thundering away by the time the first ring happened. Dean picked up before the ring had even finished.

“Castiel, hey,” he answered, sounding mildly breathless. He sounded happy. “Been wanting to call you since I got up this morning,” he confessed.

Castiel smiled and agreed, “It was difficult to wait. Especially since I have something to discuss with you.”

“Oh, yeah? Sounds serious. What’s up?” Castiel heard the unmistakable sounds of kitchen puttering in the background.

“Well, as I believe I mentioned, my brother is an entertainment lawyer?”

“Yeah, I think I remember you talking about it.” The sound of a whisk could be heard as he talked.

“Gabriel, my brother, well, he has expressed to me that, if you were to want to take on your publishers and try to get a more fair deal, he would be willing to assist you, pro bono.”

Castiel heard the whisk stop and the bowl hit the table as it was set down and he had a moment to panic before Dean’s voice, quieter than before, came down the line again.

“He thinks he could do that? I mean, I signed the contract.”

With relief, Castiel said, “He seemed confident he could help you, but I don’t know the details.. Would you like his number?”

They exchanged the information and discussed that a little further and then Dean said, “I had a really great time yesterday, Cas. I know I already said that, probably a lot, but I mean it.”

“Me, too, Dean. I’d like to do it again very soon,” Castiel admitted, smiling to himself.

There was a pause and then Dean asked, “You busy right now?”

Surprised, Castiel said, “What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I was thinking I could make dinner and then we could watch the next Indiana Jones movie.”

“Sounds like fun. If you’re making dinner, I’d like to bring dessert, is that all right?” Castiel asked, unsure of the social protocol.

“Heck yeah, Cas. See you soon,” Dean said, hanging up.

A few minutes later, Castiel found himself standing in the bakery of his local grocery store, staring at all the options. He had no idea what Dean was making or what might go best with it. There were probably 50 choices in front of him and he was not great at making decisions. In the end, there was a two-for-one special on pies, so he grabbed one chess pie and one mixed berry.

It was clear he made the right choice when Dean answered the door and saw the two pies in his hands. His face was the picture of delight and Castiel smiled, pleased with himself. Dean took the pies and smiled at Castiel almost the same way he’d looked at the pies, only softer, and Castiel felt the corners of his own mouth tick up that much higher.

“Did I mention how much I love pie, Cas?” Dean asked as he let him inside. “Come on back to the kitchen, dinner’s just about ready.”

Dinner turned out to be homemade lasagna with sausage and peppers and several kinds of cheese. Castiel was surprised by how good it was and he made no secret of how much he enjoyed it.

“Dean, this is even better than that cheeseburger,” Castiel told him, then grinned. “And you should know I don’t say that lightly.”

They each had a small slice of berry pie and then settled in on the couch to watch the Last Crusade. Since they both had a tendency to shift gradually closer together, it wasn’t long before they were snuggled up, Dean’s arm wrapped around Castiel’s shoulders and Castiel’s hand on Dean’s knee.

“Hey, you wanna stretch out?” Dean asked, lying back sideways and pulling his legs onto the couch.

He patted the cushion in front of him and Castiel cautiously lay down in the same pose. Castiel left space between their bodies, which left him on the very edge of the couch. Dean huffed a laughed and pulled him flush against his chest.

“Come on, don’t fall off the couch, dork. I’m not going to ravish you if you get too close.” Then Castiel felt warm air ghost over his ear. “Not unless you want me to,” Dean whispered before settling back, palm still flat against Castiel’s stomach.

True to his word, Dean kept it just that chaste for the duration of the movie. When it was over, he helped Castiel sit up and sat up himself. Only then did he pull Castiel in for a kiss, which Castiel happily accepted. Dean’s mouth lit him up in ways he wasn’t used to, both when they kissed and when Dean spoke.

It was a heady mix.

When hands began to roam again, Castiel wanted to sink into it, but he also knew he wasn’t really ready for more than this right now. He wanted to see where their…relationship? Could it be called that after two dates and a handful of letters? Regardless, he wanted to see where it was going before he let himself give in to any physical desires – no matter how strong they might be.

“We should…” Castiel started, pulling away at last, but unable to tear his eyes away from Dean’s lips long enough to finish the thought.

“Yeah, we probably should,” Dean agreed. “One more for the road?” he asked, catching Castiel’s eye at last and capturing his mouth once more.

Fifteen minutes later, Castiel was finally putting his jacket back on and getting ready to walk out the door.

“You want the other pie to take home?” Dean offered.

“No, thank you. I’d only end up having it for lunch tomorrow and regretting it,” Castiel told him with a smile.

“I like you, Cas,” Dean said teasingly. Then he stepped closer and his face was serious. “I really like you. This weekend has been…” he shook his head, apparently not finding the words he wanted.

Castiel nodded, smiling. “Yes, Dean. It has. I like you, too. Call me soon?”

Dean gave him a lazy grin. “Count on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I don't know why you're all so worried that I'm going to hurt you...which seems to be the only real request I'm getting "more fluff - please don't hurt us" xD Any other thoughts you'd like to share? You know I'm listening...  
> ♥


	8. Poetry and Options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean speaks to Gabriel and makes a double date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I'd like to say the next one will be faster, but I don't want to give false hope. I will do my best. You are brilliant, patient darlings and I love you every one. ♥

Dean spoke with Gabriel on Monday and the guy was pretty sure he could negotiate a better deal for him. He sent Gabriel everything he needed and Gabriel said he’d give him a call when he’d formulated a game plan. Dean thanked him profusely, especially for agreeing to do it for free, but Gabriel had just brushed it of with an admonition not to hurt his baby brother. Dean promised he’d do his best.

Said brother slowly became a constant in Dean’s life over the next few days. Dean had known he was lonely, but he hadn’t realized how much he had needed a new person in his life until Cas was there, filling up the empty spaces. Dean’s weekly routine didn’t change that much, but now instead of just “work, eat, work, eat, watch tv, sleep, repeat,” each daily activity was punctuated with texts or phone calls with Cas. Even sleeping meant a goodnight text and a good morning one.

On Thursday, Dean was going stir-crazy and needed to get out of the house. So after lunch, he headed up to the post office box and grabbed his fan mail, even though he’d just picked up it up the previous Saturday before meeting Cas. He didn’t pay much attention to it, since he wasn’t expecting a letter from Cas, but when he got home and placed it on the table, he got a surprise.

There, in amongst all the other letters of varying sizes and colors – and scents, his irritated nose reminded him – lay a familiar blue envelope with familiar handwriting. He smiled as he pulled it from the pile, wondering why Cas had decided to write him again – and hadn’t told him.

 

 

Dean sat there for a few minutes, reading and rereading the letter. The warm feelings Cas' words gave him didn't dissipate - though Dean felt bad that he hadn't made his own feelings clear enough that Cas had to ask. He didn't want to make Cas wait for a letter as an answer, but he also wanted to respond in kind.  
  
Finally, he opted to write Cas, but call him first. He picked up his phone and dialed, then realized Cas would be at work. The call went straight to voicemail, so he left a message.  
  
"Hey, Cas, it's Dean. Just got your letter. You don't have to worry. I feel the same way. Call me when you're off work and I'll happily elaborate. Bye."  
  
After he hung up, he found some of his best stationery as well as a notebook and sat back down to write. It took him several drafts to get it the way he wanted it, but when he was done, he copied it from the notebook over to the stationery. He wondered briefly if poems were cheesy, but then he decided if a writer couldn’t send poetry to his romantic interest, who could?

 

 

When he was satisfied with his handwriting, he carefully folded it and sealed it in the envelope. He put his real address on it and stamped. Then he took it out to the mailbox.

Apparently, it had taken him longer than he thought to get it done because as he walked back inside, the phone was ringing with Cas on the line. Checking his watch, Dean realized he must be on his afternoon break.

“Hey, Cas,” he greeted him warmly.

“Hello, Dean. I got your message. I’m very happy you feel the same,” Cas told him with a smile audible in his voice.

Dean chuckled. “You know, I’ve probably read your letter six times already, so I’m pretty happy myself.” He switched ears and asked, “Can we, uh, have dinner tomorrow? Maybe catch a movie or something?”

“I’d like that very much. Although, if you don’t mind, I’d rather do something else afterward.”

“Yeah, sure, I don’t care what we do. I just want to spend time with you,” Dean told him sincerely.

“I feel the same, Dean. I just think a movie in a theater is not very good for conversation.”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya, Cas,” Dean said with a laugh. “So what else?”

“Well, we could – oh, I’m sorry, Dean, my break is almost over. Can we talk about it tonight?”

“Sure, Cas. Talk to you later.”

“Good bye, Dean.”

Dean was in a good mood the rest of the afternoon. He even got more work done than usual, so he was able to stop early. That gave him time to look for alternative activities for his date with Cas the next night. He was more excited about this thing with Cas than he’d been about anyone in a long time. Just before 5:30, he decided he couldn’t hold it in anymore and he sent Sam a text.

 

**Just wanted to let you know, I met somebody.**

**So you can stop worrying about me now, ya big baby.**

Dean wasn’t expecting a response any time soon and he hadn’t gotten one by 6:15, when Cas finally called him back.

“Hello, Dean. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to call sooner, but I had too little for lunch. Getting something to eat took precedent. Did you have a good afternoon?”

“Yeah, it was really productive. Not only did I get a lot of work done, but I found us a thing to go to tomorrow after dinner,” he told Cas happily.

“Oh, dear. You sound very excited. I actually found something myself. Tell me yours, though,” Cas said.

Dean pursed his lips. “Well, we can do your thing, but I think you’re gonna like my thing.” For a second, he heard how that sounded and almost laughed, but he somehow knew Cas wouldn’t get the innuendo, so he held it in. He cleared his throat. “Uh, you know the science museum on 5th? They’ve got a bee exhibit, dude!”

“Oh, I read about that last month, but I didn’t realize it had already started! Still, I think you’ll like what I found, too,” Cas said hesitantly. “There is a classic car expo near my office.”

Dean thought for a minute, then he said, “I have an idea. The museum closes pretty early, so we wouldn’t get much time there on Friday night if we went to dinner first. So how about we go to the car thing on Friday after dinner and then Saturday we can spend as long as you want at the museum?” Some part of Dean paused to wonder whether it was weird to ask for two dates at once, especially so soon, but the rest of him ignored it.

The happiness in Cas’ voice said he’d done the right thing. “I think that’s a wonderful compromise,” he agreed. Cas gave him the address of his office so that they could meet there when he got off work. “There’s a very good Italian restaurant nearby, if that’s all right with you for dinner.”

“The day I can’t eat Italian food is the day they bury me, Cas,” Dean assured him with a smile.

“Oh, I hate to do this twice in one day, but it’s my brother on the other line. I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow after work?”

“Can’t wait, Cas. Bye.” After he hung up, Dean didn’t stop smiling for an hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of Dean's poem? He went a little more canon with it than I'd expected, but there you have it. These boys do what they want. (Usually, it's each other) ♥


	9. Dinner and a Car Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets nervous about their big date, but Dean knows just what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made an 850 mile road trip in a car with 3 other people. It was long and tiring and uncomfortable - but I managed to write about 5000 words, so that is something. 2.5 chapters of this, in fact. But the next chapter needs to be fact-checked for scientific & bureaucratic accuracy, so it won't be up until probably tomorrow.

Castiel was certain that Friday was the longest day of work he’d ever lived through. He’d been aware since the moment he woke up that today was the day of his date with Dean. The first date of two and that made it even better. Work, which was never his favorite place to be, seemed even more tedious than ever before, full as he was of the knowledge that he had somewhere much better to be.

In his whole life, he’d never met anyone like Dean. Dean was funny and smart and sweet. He teased, but he was never cruel. Castiel never felt like mocking him when he didn’t know something. Rather, Dean seemed to find it charming that Castiel was so ill-informed about pop culture. And the man obviously enjoyed teaching Castiel about all the things he’d been missing.

Lunchtime didn’t feel like the reprieve it normally was, simply because it meant Castiel was only halfway to the end of the day and still had hours yet until he could see Dean. However, when he sat in his car to consume his solitary meal, he checked his phone and found a text from Dean, telling him he could call on his break, if he wanted. Ignoring his food, he dialed before he could talk himself out of it.

“Hey, Cas! Sorry, I know we’ll see each other tonight, but…well, honestly, I’m a little bit nervous, so I figured if I talked to you, it would help.”

“I’ve been nervous myself. To be honest, I was dreading lunch until I saw your message. Then I was happy to be at lunch.” Castiel smiled to himself as he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders.

“Yeah? Well, I’m glad. Man, I wish it was 5 o’clock already. I’m sure you do, too.” Castiel heard shuffling on the line, then Dean spoke again. “I wish you could become a mellitologist or…you know, whatever you want to do.”

The sincerity in Dean’s voice meant a great deal to Castiel. “I appreciate that, Dean. Perhaps one day.” He didn’t believe it, but there was no reason to say so. “And I hope that you will be able to work out your royalty problems so that you can earn the money you deserve.” He hesitated, then admitted, “I read your book again. I haven’t even gotten around to reading the others yet.”

“Thanks, man. Gabriel actually called me earlier. I’m supposed to meet with him next week.” Dean took a drink of something. “How long do you have for lunch? I don’t want you to be late or anything.”

“I still have a few minutes to talk, Dean, but thank you for your concern. How are your columns coming? I particularly liked the one that came out the other day, where you helped the parent with the depressed child,” Castiel confessed.

“Yeah? I hope I helped. My little brother had similar problems when he was a kid, so hopefully the same stuff will work, you know?”

Curious now, Castiel asked, “Do you get a lot of questions that don’t make it into the column?”

“Not really? I mean, yours, obviously,” Dean said with a laugh. “And sometimes it will be a question really similar to another one I’ve answered, I guess, but usually I’ll just post the old answer with the new version of the question.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad I was the exception,” Castiel told him, smiling. “Do you always remember that you’ve answered a question? I would think that would be difficult to keep track of.”

Dean laughed again. “Sometimes I remember, but we’ve actually got software that checks for that. Weird, right?” He cleared his throat. “Well, Cas, I guess I’d better let you get back. I need to get back to work myself, anyway.”

“I’m happy you asked me to call, Dean. I am much less nervous now. I’ll see you soon, ok?”

“Same here, Cas. See you soon.”

Once they hung up, Castiel ate his lackluster meal with a smile fixed on his face. The rest of the day went much more quickly. On his afternoon break he went down to his car and retrieved the change of clothes he’d brought with him. He didn’t enjoy having to get dressed in the men’s room, but he knew if he’d worn his date clothes to work he’d have gotten some sort of stain on them. With less than an hour and a half to go, he thought surely he could keep clean.

His nerves returned during the last half hour. He punched out three minutes early, unable to sit in his seat any longer. Then he rushed downstairs, ignoring everything around him in his hurry to reach the outside. He expected to wait, but to his surprise, Dean was waiting right out front, leaning against the passenger door.

Both their faces broke into smiles when they saw each other. Castiel managed to keep himself from running toward Dean, but the impulse was there. When Castiel got close enough to the car, Dean stood up straight and opened his arms for a hug, which Castiel stepped into gladly.

“Heya, Cas,” Dean murmured in his ear. Castiel didn’t think there had ever been anyone in his life who had ever been as happy to see him as Dean seemed in that moment.

“Hello,” Cas answered as they pulled apart. He took in Dean’s black slacks and button up shirt. “You look very nice.” He smelled nice, too, but Castiel kept that to himself.

“You look amazing. You should wear blue all the time,” Dean said, stroking the arm of Cas’ sweater with one finger.

Castiel looked away, smiling, unused to compliments. “Shall we go to dinner?”

Dean seemed to remember where they were. “Yeah, let’s go.” He unlocked and opened Castiel’s door and then walked around to his own side. “Where to?” he asked and Castiel gave him directions to the Italian place.

Over dinner, they talked more about cars and Dean’s column, until Dean insisted they talk about Castiel. “I’m glad you think I’m so fascinating, Cas,” Dean said with a chuckle, “But I wanna hear about you, too, you know. Tell me about _your_ job and _your_ hobbies.”

“My job is the most boring job in the world. The money is good, but I hate work more every day,” Castiel admitted.

“Is the money good enough you could save up and go back to school? I mean, you could probably get a loan for that, right?” Dean asked as their tiramisu arrived.

“I’m not certain. I suppose that is an option to consider.” He took a small bite of his dessert before speaking again. “At any rate, we’ll spend a lot of time with the bees tomorrow and I will tell you all about those. I did read a very good book recently that I’d be happy to talk about,” he teased.

“Cute. I’m serious, Cas. Tell me about other books you’ve read or something. Or maybe you got something interesting in the mail?” Dean asked, seeming nervous for the first time.

“In the mail?” Castiel asked in confusion. “No, I haven’t checked my mail in a few days. My subdivision has communal mailboxes and they are in an inconvenient location to drive by on my way to or from work.”

“Ah. Well, you should, um, check it soon. You know, just in case. You never know. Man, this tiramisu is good.”

Castiel gave Dean an appraising look, but Dean avoided eye contact, so Castiel decided to drop it. If Dean didn’t want to explain why he wanted him to check the mail, Castiel wouldn’t press him on it.

Castiel was fascinated by the car expo. He had seen many classic cars, of course, but he’d never before been able to see them with someone so knowledgeable on hand to educate him on their differences and features.

“This one is Plymouth Roadrunner. Not quite as good as a Challenger or a Barracuda, but still a really sweet car.” Dean pointed at Castiel and said seriously, “Don’t tell the Impala I said that.” Castiel laughed and Dean looked sheepish. “Shuddup.”

When they were done with the cars, Dean invited Castiel back to his house for coffee. Castiel hesitated and saw Dean’s face grow concerned.

“Hey, Cas, I’m not rushing you. I really do just want to keep talking. It doesn’t have to be more than that, I swear,” Dean hastened to assure him.

Castiel was instantly contrite himself. “No, Dean, that’s not…” He ducked his head and looked up at Dean through his lashes. “I just really want to know what I’ve got in the mail,” he admitted.

Dean bit his smiling lower lip and looked away. “I could drive you over there on the way back to my place,” he suggested after a moment.

Castiel nodded, grinning. “That sounds good, Dean.” He paused, looking out the window as Dean backed out of the parking space. “And for the record, I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t turn into more than talking,” he told Dean quietly.

Dean didn’t stop smiling until Castiel was getting out of the car to get his mail. When he got back in the car, however, Dean was biting his thumbnail nervously and staring out the windshield. Castiel shot him a few looks, but he was focused on his letters.

Finally, he reached the one addressed in Dean’s handwriting. He slid his finger under the flap and did his best to pry it open without tearing it. As he read the words, his eyes widened and he brought his hand up to touch his lips, disbelieving. Dean had yet to drive away or look his direction. Castiel thought he understood why. He read the letter again, then one more time.

“ _Dean_ ,” he said breathlessly. “This is…no one has ever…” Unable to find words to respond to Dean’s words, Castiel instead threw himself across the car to embrace Dean tightly. “Thank you,” he whispered against Dean’s neck.

“I meant it all, Cas,” Dean said, pressing a kiss into Castiel’s hair. “I think you’re the best, man. It’s never been this easy being with anyone before. Actually, up until I met you, honestly I kinda thought I was broken.” Castiel felt rather than heard his small laugh.

“I guess I wrote to the right person for advice, then,” Castiel said with a smile as they separated.

Dean chuckled again. “Yeah, I guess you did, Cas.” His hand came up to cup Castiel’s cheek. “I’m really glad you did, too,” he said as he removed his hand and finally pulled away from the curb. “Let’s get back to my house so I can show you how glad I am.” He grinned then and explained, “I’d just kiss you right here, but I don’t wanna scare your neighbors if you start screaming my name.” He winked to show he was teasing and Castiel laughed.

A little while later, as they lay entwined on Dean’s couch, Castiel realized Dean hadn’t been far off the mark. He was practically moaning and all they had done was kiss. When Dean’s hand landed on his hip, a thumb sliding tantalizingly under his waistband in a gentle caress, Castiel was torn for only a moment.

His mind recalled the poem Dean had written and he broke the kiss to whisper, “Touch me, Dean.” The hand on his hip tightened and Dean groaned as he kissed him even more deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me, darlings. I'm having trouble staying awake and your comments give me such joy. ♥


	10. Successful Fumbling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas get naked and go to a museum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is half smut and half important plot development. ~~No actual math was used to determine these percentages.~~ After the first paragraph or two, it gets pret-ty sultry up in here. Then it gets all plotty. The dividing line is the page break line, if anyone wants to skip past sweaty naked bodies.
> 
> I have done my science and bureaucratic research and gotten it as close to accurate as I can, though I sorta fudged just a bit.
> 
> As I think I mentioned, this is unbeta'd, so if you see a typo or weird punctuation (or lack of proper punctuation), please ~~gently~~ let me know.

Dean was a little worried about how nervous he was while Cas was reading his poem, but when Cas launched himself at Dean, he relaxed completely. He had it bad. He was falling for Cas, fast, and he knew it. It wasn’t like him at all, but it was the happiest he could remember being in his life, so Dean wasn’t sure he cared.

Laying on his couch kissing Cas was pretty much the best thing ever. When he heard Cas’ whispered command to touch him, though, Dean thought maybe there could be one or two things that were slightly better. Then he stopped thinking at all as he followed through with Cas’ request.

He shifted his hips until his erection was aligned with Cas’ and then he gently rubbed them together. There was more pressure than friction on the first pass, but it was enough to make Cas gasp beneath him. Dean repeated the movement, this time dragging his crotch more slowly over Cas’ and pulling a groan from him.

“I know you want to make it last, but…please, Dean, can we at least be naked for that?” Cas asked him in a dazed voice.

Dean kissed him at that and then stood up. Without hesitation, he pulled off his shirt and kicked off his shoes. Cas just watched until Dean began pulling off his socks. Then he, too, started removing his clothes. When they were down to their boxers, they both hesitated for a second.

Dean suggested, “How about we move into the bedroom?”

Cas nodded and Dean held out a hand for him to take. He pulled him up and into another kiss. He walked backwards toward the bedroom as they kissed, Cas following along with minimal stumbling on either of their parts. Dean had to feel around to find the doorway, not wanting, still, to take himself out of the kiss.

Then he was sitting on the bed, with Cas stood between his knees. The high bed meant Cas was still at the perfect height for kissing, so that Dean, for a change, actually had to lean up into it. He hoped it gave Cas a feeling of control that Dean suspected Cas, with his lack of experience, probably needed.

His hands were on Cas’ back and he slid them down as the kiss continued, until his palms rested on Cas’ hips. Then he dipped his fingers into the waistband again and, when Cas did not protest or move to stop him, began sliding Cas’ boxers slowly down and over his hips and ass. He kept the front pulled out so it wouldn’t catch on Cas’ cock. When he got to Cas’ thighs, he let them go and they fell to the floor with a soft sound.

Dean stood then and removed his own boxer briefs, still maintaining the kiss. When they were both naked at last, he sat back down and shifted until he was lying back on the pillows, pulling Cas toward him. He directed Cas until Cas was straddling him, again in a position of power.

“Dean, I appreciate what you’re trying to accomplish, but I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not…comfortable being on top like this.”

Cas said it all in a rush and as the meaning of the words trickled through his arousal-slowed brain, Dean truly realized for the first time that Cas was a virgin. He gently rolled him over then. Rather than straddling him, though, Dean slid half next to him and half on top.

“This better, sweetheart?” he asked softly. Cas’ eyes were wide and then Dean noticed he was shivering. “You cold, Cas? Or scared? Coz if you’re not ready, we’ll stop right here –“

“No, Dean, I’m not scared. Just a little cold and maybe nervous, but I want this. I want you. Ok?”

Possibly to prove his statements, Cas reached between them and wrapped his hand around Dean’s cock, awkwardly stroking it. It wasn’t perfect, but it was still amazing to feel someone else’s hand – Cas’ hand most especially – touching him. He leaned in for a kiss and helped Cas adjust his grip, taking Cas in his own hand and ripping a moan from him.

“Have you ever done _anything_ before, Cas?” Dean asked as he worked his mouth over Cas’ neck. “Has anyone ever touched you like this before?”

“Some high school fumbling,” Cas admitted breathlessly. “Never enough to…” he began, then seemed to get lost in the moment and forget he was speaking when Dean swiped his thumb under the head of his erection.

“Nobody came?” Dean prompted, taking an earlobe between his teeth and suckling it gently. He knew his breath was heavy in Cas’ ear and he hoped Cas enjoyed that as much as he always had.

“What? Oh, yes, right.” Cas turned his head, silently instructing Dean to move lower down his neck. Dean started mixing up his hand movements on Cas’ cock until Cas’ eyes went wide. “Oh, Dean, that feels so good. It’s…fuck…it’s so much better than when I do it.”

Cas caught on quickly and started mimicking some of the things Dean was doing with his hand. His intense attraction for Cas, combined with his excitement over being the first to really touch Cas had him close already, so it only took a few of his own special moves being parroted back on him before he was on the edge.

“Cas, I’m close, man. If you want this to last you should –“ Cas sped up the movements of his hand and Dean was coming with a shout, leaving white streaks on them both.

Dean pressed close and kissed Cas, letting go of his cock for the moment as he took a few seconds to breathe through the afterglow. Then he kissed his way down, stopping at one point to taste himself on Cas’ skin. Cas groaned and made a pleading sound that might have been words in his brain, but was just gibberish in the air.

Dean wrapped his hand around Cas’ shaft again and stroked lightly. “This what you need, Cas? Huh? Or maybe you might like this better,” he said, dipping down and sliding his tongue around the head before slipping Cas’ full length into his mouth.

“Dean!” Cas shouted, now fully able to form words again. “Dean, that’s…fuck, please, Dean, I need…”

He had mastered words again, but not sentences. Luckily, sex was a language Dean understood well and he gave Cas exactly what he needed, even though he couldn’t quite ask for it. Dean tried to draw it out and make it last for Cas, but even so, it wasn’t long before Dean saw and felt the signs that Cas was close.

Dean pulled back and looked up at Cas, who was looking right down at him. He stroked with his hand, using his tongue on just the underside of the head and watched as Cas held his gaze while he fell apart. He sat straight up with a hoarse cry when the orgasm took him, and Dean sucked him in again in order to swallow it down.

“Dean,” Cas whispered helplessly when it was over and Dean quickly climbed up to gather him to his chest.

Cas clung to him, shivering again. Dean pulled the blanket up over them, even though he didn’t think it was the cold this time. He pressed kisses to Cas’ head and gently massaged him with his hands until his breathing evened out. After a few more minutes, Dean fell asleep, relishing the feeling of being wrapped up together with Cas.

* * *

 

When Dean woke up the next morning, he found Cas staring down at him. “Good morning, Dean. I’m sorry for staring,” he said, although he didn’t stop.

Dean grinned. “It’s ok, Cas. I don’t mind. I kinda like staring at you, too.”

“Oh, good. You’re very good-looking. It’s almost incredible how good-looking you are.” Dean searched his face, but Cas seemed to be completely serious.

“Wow. Um. Thanks, man. I, uh, I mean, you’re good-looking, too, you know.”

“Hm,” Cas murmured helpfully.

“Well, hey, look,” Dean said, pulling away to get up, suddenly uncomfortable with the scrutiny. “How about I make us some breakfast, huh? Or we could go out, if you want.”

“If you don’t mind making breakfast, I’d prefer that. That way perhaps you’ll have some time after breakfast to teach me more of the kind of things you were showing me last night,” he said in his even-rumblier morning voice. This time, Dean could see that there was a definite teasing light in his eyes.

He leaned back down for a quick, chaste kiss. “That is something we can definitely make time for,” he promised. After their morning ablutions, a hearty breakfast and quick showers, Dean kept his word.

When they finally made it to the museum, they headed straight for the bee exhibit. There was meant to be a guided tour that began at 1PM, but by 1:15, the guide still had not shown up to the area.

Cas, possibly assuming Dean was bored, pointed into one of the exhibits, where a beehive had been set up for viewing. The bees could leave the hive – and the building – by a series of tunnels.

“You see that one bee there, shaking around in front of that other group?” he asked Dean.

“Where? Oh, wait, yeah, I see it.”

“That bee is giving the other bees directions to find food,” Cas explained. “If the forager were only dancing in a circle, it would mean the food was close by, but since she’s doing a little waggle in the middle, it means the food is farther away.”

Dean noticed a group of kids who were also waiting for the tour with their parents were listening to Cas as he continued explaining facts about the hive and its inhabitants. Cas didn’t notice until one little girl came up and tentatively asked him a question.

“Excuse me, sir?”

“Y-yes?” Cas answered, bemused.

“My teacher said bees die if they sting someone, is that true?” It was obvious the idea made her sad.

“Were you stung?” Cas asked gently, squatting down to speak with her.

She nodded, sniffling. “He landed on me and I swatted him by accident.”

“Well, I’m sorry to say that it is true, but it’s actually a good thing. If bees were like wasps and could sting over and over again, they would be much more dangerous away from the hive. Plus, they’d need much more honey to sustain themselves, so there wouldn’t be any left for us,” he told her with a smile.

He stood up again. “The reason their stinger comes out is so that they can release the maximum amount of venom into the person or animal they believe is dangerous to them. But because of the danger to them, they only sting when they feel physically attacked and to protect the hive. Did you know it’s only the girl bees who can sting?” She shook her head. “Well, it’s true. Bees have an all-female army and they give their lives to protect their Queen. They are very noble creatures, don’t you think?”

The little girl smiled at that and nodded again, stepping back over to grateful-looking parents.

For the next half an hour, Cas continued being asked questions and answering them with aplomb. He never saw the woman in the business suit who had walked up as he spoke with the bee-stung girl, but Dean did. He also didn’t know the lady watched him with an appraising look on her face, but Dean saw it and wondered who she was.

When Cas finished with the latest child he was speaking with, the woman finally interrupted. “Everyone, that concludes the question and answer portion of our tour, but if you will step into this room here and wait just a few minutes, we have some other exciting bee-related activities for you!”

The children filed into the room, but the woman stayed back along with Dean and Cas. Dean looked at her curiously, but Cas looked apologetic.

“I’m sorry, no one showed up and they started asking me –“

“Oh, please don’t apologize! The man who was supposed to give our tours today quit without notice and, if I may be frank, he wasn’t very good, anyway,” she confided with a smile. “Actually, I have been watching you this whole time and marveling at what a natural you are at this. Have you studied bees?”

“Not formally, but as a serious hobby, yes. I used to keep them, until my colony collapsed.” He still looked more worried and confused than anything, but Dean had a good feeling.

“Well, it’s quite obvious you know enough about bees to run this exhibit. As I am currently without a tour guide and you obviously have an affinity for these creatures, would you be interested in coming to work with us, Mister…?”

Cas looked stunned and Dean couldn’t help his smile. “But, it’s only a temporary installation, isn’t it?”

“Well, the plan was to try it temporarily and then, if it was as popular here as in other places, we would create a permanent exhibit. I believe with someone like you as curator in charge, we could make it that popular.”

As Cas struggled to find words, Dean stepped in. “He’s a little overwhelmed. Can he get back to you?”

She shook her head, smiling self-deprecatingly. “Yes, yes, of course, I’m sorry. I know it’s all very sudden and I’m sure you already have a job, I just…it excites me when I see someone who is as interested in science as I am.”

She stuck out her hand for Cas and then Dean. “I’m Lydia Bevins, the museum Director and Head Curator.” She reached into her pocket and brought out a card. “Please take the weekend to think about it and give me a call first thing Monday? I’m afraid any longer than that and I have to find someone else.”

She walked into the room where the children went then, leaving Cas and Dean, standing there dumbfounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Comments? Typo alerts? Tell Dimples all the things.  
> P.S. If you love me, please share my little fics on your blogs and whatnot? I'd be ever so grateful. ♥


	11. Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas debates a career change and decides to try something new in other parts of his life, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Schmoop and smut. (Smut begins when you think it does and continues for the rest of the chapter). Your favorites.

Castiel was still in shock the next day. He’d followed Lydia into the other room and, once she was done leading the children in their activities, pulled her aside for another talk. Once he’d had time to absorb her offer, he realized there were other concerns in order for him to make a decision.

They’d discussed money – less than he currently made, but more than enough for his needs – and benefits, as well as the breadth and scope of what his job would entail. By the end of it, he was almost certain he would take the job, but he still wanted the rest of the weekend to decide.

He’d had a wonderful rest of Saturday with Dean, but he went home alone after dinner. He needed some time to himself to make the decision. Not that he hadn’t valued Dean’s input, which came in the form of “Takeittakeittakeit!” and a big grin. As he ate his breakfast, his phone pinged him with new messages.

**> Takeittakeittakeit! :D**

**> (no, seriously, dude, take it)**

Castiel smiled and shook his head. He finished his breakfast before responding.

**I’m not sure I’m clear on your opinion, Dean.**

**Perhaps if you explained again?**

He was in the middle of washing dishes when he heard the replies come in. When he checked it a few minutes later, he laughed when he read them.

**> Have I mentioned that you’re a smartass?**

**> (That’s hot)**

Rather than text him again, Castiel called him. “I do appreciate your opinion, you know,” Castiel said in lieu of a greeting.

“I know. I’m just excited that that happened. I mean, here you are, thinking you’re so bad with people and along comes this lady, says you’re a natural with the kids – which you are, by the way, but I mean, she actually  _knows_  coz she does this crap for a living, right?”

“You thought I was a natural with the children?” Castiel asked, touched more by Dean’s assessment than Lydia’s.

“Well, yeah, dude. You were great with them. You kept that one little girl from crying and you got down on her level and everything. It was pretty badass, actually,” Dean told him.

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel said quietly. “That means…a great deal to hear you say.”

“Cas, I told you. You’re the best.” His tone turned teasing then. “You’re pretty hot, too, for a bee geek.”

Castiel realized in that moment that he was falling in love with Dean. Far too quickly than was prudent, but there was nothing to be done about the timing of it. It was fact and he was helpless against it. He was fairly certain he didn’t mind.

“I’m a geek? Hm. I think that term would probably apply better to the man with the crush on Indiana Jones,” he teased back.

“Only person I’ve got a crush on is you, Cas,” Dean said, all trace of teasing gone from his voice. “And it’s a bad one.”

“Good. Serves you right for making me have such a big crush on you,” Castiel told him, not quite managing as teasing a tone as he’d hoped.

“Worth it, then. Totally worth it. I’ll, um…I’ll see you again soon, I hope?” Dean asked shyly.

Castiel swallowed down his fear. “Are you busy right now?”

And so it was that Cas found himself with Dean for the third day in a row. It was a trend he liked very much. They were sitting on his couch, talking and trying to pretend – at least on Castiel’s part – that they didn’t want to rip each other’s clothes off. During a brief lull in the conversation, when Castiel was just wondering if it had been a long enough interval that he could now instigate the kissing, Dean suddenly leaned down to the messenger bag he’d brought with him.

“Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, I brought you a couple copies of my other books,” he said, pulling them from the bag and laying them on the couch between them.

Castiel was so pleased that he almost forgot his desire to kiss Dean for a moment. “Dean, that’s wonderful, thank you! I was actually planning on going to the bookstore this afternoon, but, well…” he said, smiling and shrugging.

“You invited a hot guy over instead?” Dean teased.

Castiel deadpanned, “Yes, and he’ll be here any minute, so you should probably go.”

Dean playfully shoved Castiel’s shoulder. “Oh, you dick!” he said, laughing. He tossed the books onto the coffee table and straddled Cas’ lap suddenly. “You got somebody else who kisses better than this?” he asked in a husky voice.

When Dean’s mouth pressed down, hot and wet against his own, it was just as magical as the very first time. His lips were already parted when they met Castiel’s and his teeth gently pushed against Castiel’s lips as his tongue swept into Cas’ mouth to find Castiel’s own.

Castiel wished he had Dean’s gift for writing, so that he could describe the way it felt to be joined at the mouth to another person. The heat and the pull of desire that seemed to build up between them, lashing them together and yet it was impossible to ever be close enough, even when they were skin to skin. There was a desire to meld, to fuse, to become a singular entity.

Cas knew there was one way they could join together, in as close an approximation of fusion as he thought they were likely to reach. He’d been anxious to try it ever since that first kiss, despite his need to take things slow. As the pleasure mounted between them and the heat built, he knew today was the day.

Pushing lightly at Dean’s chest to pull out of the kiss, Castiel told him earnestly, “Dean, when we have sex this time, I want you inside me.”

In response, Dean groaned and rolled his hips so that his rather obvious erection rubbed against Castiel’s own. “Do you know what you do to me, Cas?” he asked in a raspy voice. “Do you have any idea?”

Castiel bucked up against him. “Yes, Dean. The same things you do to me,” he told him as he grabbed Dean’s hips and pulled him down so that they could rut against each other for a  few moments while Castiel mouthed at Dean’s chest and collar bone. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

Dean rose off of him and Castiel took his hand, leading him down the short hallway and into the master suite. It was dominated by a large king sized four-poster bed. Without waiting for the request, Castiel started stripping down, starting with his shoes and socks and moving on from there until he was naked.

Dean just stood there, gawking at him for a moment. “You really are just the sexiest guy I’ve ever seen, Cas. I’ll die of lameness if I ask if you work out, so just explain to me how you got that body, please.”

Castiel smiled, both at Dean’s humor and the praise and turned to the bedside table as he answered. “I do yoga and I run when I can. Now please remove your clothes so I can see how beautiful you are again,” he instructed as he pulled lubricant and a condom from the drawer.

Dean pulled his clothes off more slowly, allowing Castiel the time to savor each newly revealed section of skin. By the time he was in nothing but socks, Castiel couldn’t wait anymore. Dean started to bend down to remove them, but Castiel stopped him.

“Fuck the socks, Dean, get on the bed with me,” he growled.

Once Dean had followed him up onto the mattress, Castiel dragged him forward into another kiss, this one much more fierce and much less tender than all the others that had come before it. His arousal had reached a fever pitch and he was feeling raw want the likes of which he’d never before experienced.

He passed the bottle to Dean. “Work me open, Dean, please,” he begged desperately as he lay backwards against the pillows.

Dean got down between his legs and started kissing him from knees to hips as he spread the lube against his fingers and warmed it up. Castiel watched him with hawk-like intensity, afraid to miss a moment of Dean’s lovely face.

Then Dean’s finger began teasing his hole and those green eyes bored into his own. It was such an intimate moment that the raw need was overtaken once again by something more poignant. The look on Dean’s face was definitely tender. There was passion there, too, but it was muted. This wasn’t just a sexual act, for either of them. It was an expression of emotion.

Castiel bit his lip and Dean slid half a finger gently inside him. Castiel gasped and Dean’s other hand rubbed gently circles on his stomach. When Cas was able to relax again, Dean pushed further, then pulled back out. He continued to work in and out like that, never breaking eye contact.

When Dean moved his hand from stomach to penis, Castiel was unaware that he’d added another finger until he felt them scissoring and twisting inside him, stretching him and getting him ready for so much more of Dean to take their place. He was unprepared for Dean’s fingers to locate and prod his prostate gland.

He’d experienced the sensation before by himself, but it hadn’t felt nearly like this. The eye contact Dean still had not dropped made every sensation heightened and the fireworks feeling of pleasure that the prodding caused was certainly no exception. He could feel tears forming in his eyes as his body became almost overwhelmed by the intensity of it all.

“Now, Dean, now, I’m so ready, please,” he begged, holding that eye contact even though it was hard to do so with all the feelings his body was having. He was already shaking and close to coming.

Dean slid up closer, so that he could kiss him again, breaking eye contact at last when their lips met. He did not remove his fingers or stop working them inside Castiel, however. “Wanna make sure you’re ready, Cas. I don’t want to hurt you, ok? Bad prep can ruin everything, trust me.”

Castiel thought he would lose his mind before Dean decided he was ready, and he did wonder if he was still fully conscious by the time Dean’s fingers withdrew. Still, when Dean positioned himself and made ready to enter Castiel for the first time, Castiel was wide awake and present for the moment.

That steady green gaze was on his again, locking him in. They both made separate noises of pleasure when the head of Dean’s cock pushed inside his hole. Castiel had expected at least slight discomfort, but there was really only the strangeness of having something inside him for the first time to adjust to. Dean had prepped him well.

Dean pulled back and pushed forward again, rocking back and forth until his hipbones were flush with Castiel’s quivering ass. Once that happened, Dean found a steady rhythm and occasionally shifted the angle so that those fireworks lit up inside Cas again.

With every thrust, with every second that that green gaze held, Castiel knew he was falling further and further in love with Dean. They were connecting on a level that transcended the physical and even the mental. Castiel felt like their souls were joining.

He knew it was ridiculous, but it felt true, anyway. He knew the tears were leaking out of the corners of his eyes and he was powerless to halt their progress. Dean’s own eyes, however, were glassier than usual, too, so Castiel thought it was all right.

“Cas, I – oh, fuck,” Dean gasped, starting to orgasm. He reached between them for Castiel’s cock and stroked him expertly, bringing him to climax quickly as Dean’s hips continued bucking erratically as he worked through his own orgasm.

Castiel was emotionally overwhelmed by his intense orgasm, by the experience and by the man lying atop him. Without meaning to, he sobbed out, “That was amazing. I love you, Dean.” Then both men froze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, shhh. I'm going to post the next chapter shortly. Tell me all your feelings ♥


	12. and Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean responds to Cas' declaration and has an argument with Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feels and implied naked butts (but no actual smut).
> 
> I feel like we're getting close to the end, but that could be 2 chapters or it could be 4, I'm just not sure. Anyway, closing in on the finish line warning duly issued.

“That was amazing. I love you, Dean,” Cas said and Dean’s heart stuttered to a halt.

Dean froze in place and felt Cas do the same, as if he hadn’t meant to say the words out loud. And he realized that his instinct was to make Cas feel better, instead of wanting to run. Dean thought for a moment, wondering why he wasn’t more scared of what Cas had said. They had only just met for real a little over a week ago.

After a second or two, it hit him, and he realized exactly why he wasn’t scared. Then he was surging forward and half-crushing Cas’ mouth under his, trying to relay the depth of his own feelings via forced osmosis.

When he pulled back, he was breathless and shaky. “Me, too, Cas,” he whispered. “I know it’s too soon and it’s crazy, but I do.”

“Oh, thank God,” Cas said, delivering his own crushing kiss.

They kissed and caressed each other until they were ready for another go around. This time, Dean let Cas top and came so hard he nearly blacked out. When he was semi-coherent again, he said, “I can’t decide which I like better, bottom or top. We should just take turns like this from now on.”

“Fuck,” Cas replied, breathlessly. Dean took it as agreement.

The next morning, after his meeting with Gabriel, Dean sent Sam a text, asking him to call when he got a chance. He was so excited about everything in his life right now, he couldn’t wait to tell his brother. He also couldn’t wait to hear from Cas about whether he’d taken the job. He’d left Dean’s house with the intention of calling Lydia and then quitting his job, but Dean didn’t know if he’d follow through or maybe give a couple days notice.

When his phone rang close to lunch time, it was Sam calling back. “Hey, man! I got some shit to tell you, dude.”

“Yeah?” Sam asked, laughing at his brother’s enthusiasm. “What’s up, big brother?”

“Ok, so I met somebody, I told you that.”

“Cas, right?”

“Yeah, Cas. He’s the best, man…wait, before I get into that, I gotta tell you the other thing. He’s got this brother who’s an entertainment lawyer. He’s been going through all my stuff, to see if he can get me a better deal.” Dean shifted the phone to his other ear. “And we had a meeting this morning and he’s already in negotiations with them. They’re supposed to have a new proposal by the end of the day, Sam!”

“Wow! Dean, that’s awesome!”

“I know, right? And Cas got offered this really great job at the museum, so his work is going great, too, or it will be, if he takes it, which I hope he will, but –“

“Dean? Dude, you’re talking like 100 miles an hour, what gives?” Sam broke in.

Dean took a deep breath, happy and excited, but still having a hard time saying the actual words. “I’m in love, Sam,” he said quickly. “I love him. Cas, I mean.”

“You…what? Dean, I don’t…” Sam, instead of being happy for him as Dean had expected, let out a deep sigh. “I know I’ve been after you to meet somebody, but…this is really fast. I mean, what do you really know about this guy?”

“What? Sam, I know plenty. I know he’s amazing. He’s smart and funny and sweet and…and fucking amazing, Sam. Yeah, it’s fast, but –“

“Dean, you’ve had maybe two relationships before. And how long did it take you to even get serious? You’ve only known this guy, what, two weeks?” Sam pressed.

“Sam. Listen to me. You’re right. It’s quick. I’m not disputing that, ok? But it’s different than anything I’ve ever had with anyone. It took me a long time to get serious before because _it never felt like this_ ,” Dean did his best to explain without getting defensive, hoping it would help Sam see that he wasn’t being rash and illogical.

“Dean, I’m glad you’re happy, I am, but…I’m worried, ok? You don’t really know this guy. He wrote you a fan letter. He could secretly be crazy –“

“Sam,” Dean said warningly. “I’m gonna stop you right there. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt because I know you’re just trying to look out for me, but don’t start insulting him when you don’t know him.” He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Just meet him, ok? Let’s get together and you and Jess can meet him and you’ll see. I guarantee you’ll see what I see, all right?”

Sam was quiet for a moment. “Ok, Dean. Yeah, I’ll see if Jess and I can get out there sometime this weekend.”

Dean hung up feeling unsettled. He wasn’t questioning how he felt about Cas. He was just surprised by his brother’s reluctance to accept that Dean knew what he was doing. Sure, he wasn’t an expert at relationships, but he wasn’t a child – or an idiot. If anything, Sam should have known that Dean letting Cas in so fast meant he was something special. Instead, apparently Sam thought it made Cas suspect, even though Sam was always the one who called him paranoid for being such a cynic.

When Gabriel called, it was just after 4:30. “Dean, Gabriel. Listen, they sent the offer, but I think we can do better, I really do. You can accept if you want, but I advise playing hard ball and making them come back with something better.”

Gabriel outlined the deal, which sounded good to Dean, but he’d ended up where he was by taking the first offer he got. “Hey, man, it’s whatever you think. If you really think they’ll come back with better, let’s hold out for better. I don’t wanna get screwed again.”

“Good man. We’ll talk again soon. I’ll make them sweat it out overnight and get back with them tomorrow. I’ll keep you posted, ok?”

“Sure thing, man. Later.”

It was after 5:45 before Cas finally called back. “Dean? I quit my job. I’m going to work at the museum!” He had obviously tried to keep his voice neutral, but excitement got the better of him quickly. “I waited until the end of the day to tell them because she wasn’t ready for me until tomorrow and I figure the extra pay couldn’t hurt.”

“You’re gonna be ok, right? Money-wise?” Dean asked in concern.

“Oh, yes, Dean, don’t worry about that. I have more than enough. I suppose my upbringing just made me overly frugal.”

“Well, I’m so fucking proud of you, Cas. I’m really happy about your new job.”

“Thank you, Dean. So am I. I can’t wait!” Then Cas apparently recalled that Dean’s meeting was that morning. “Oh, how did things go with Gabriel today?”

“Well, I got some good news, myself, actually. They came back with a pretty good offer, but Gabriel is pretty sure we’ll get a better one out of them.” Dean paused and then made himself continue. “Oh, and, um, I told Sam about us today.”

“Your brother? What did he say?” Cas asked, sounding cautious.

“He…well, he wasn’t as happy as I expected. He’s gonna come in this weekend with his girlfriend.”

“He thinks we’re rushing things,” Cas said, rather than asked.

“Yeah, actually.”

Cas sighed in Dean’s ear. “Gabriel said the same thing. He likes you, and he pushed me toward meeting you, but now he thinks you’re…I don’t know.”

“It’s the same with Sam. Here he’s been pushing me to find somebody all this time and I finally do and he thinks I’m moving too fast.” Dean shoved a hand through his hair in frustration.

“Gabriel said I was latching onto the first person that came along or words to that effect,” Cas admitted, clearly angry.

“Well, in Sam’s case, I know it’s just because he hasn’t met you yet. Once he meets you, he’ll see that you’re amazing and it’ll all be fine. Gabriel’s already met me, so I don’t know what to do there,” Dean said with a laugh. “But, anyway, when Sam comes in this weekend, he’ll see that he’s wrong.”

“Dean, I think that’s a bad idea.”

“Wait, what? Come on, Cas, we’ll get you two together this weekend, with Jess – who is probably already on our side, anyway – and we’ll change his mind,” Dean assured him.

“No, Dean,” Cas said firmly.

“Cas, if he meets you, he’ll see how great you are and stop worrying about thi-”

“If he meets me he’s going to hate me! Everyone does!” Cas yelled, voice breaking in the middle.

Dean was quiet for a moment. Then he said softly, “I didn’t.”

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas began.

“No, Cas, come on. I know you’ve had a lot of bad experiences, ok? I do. I get that. I’m not exactly a social butterfly, here. But Sam’s family and not just that, he gets me. He’s good people. And so are you. And he’ll see that.” Dean sighed. “I’m not going to force you. Just…please?”

“I don’t know, Dean. I know you think I’m not as bad with people as I make out, but –“

“Cas, you’re about to start a job working with the public because Lydia saw you with kids and thought you were great with them.” He waited a beat to let that sink in. “Don’t you think you can handle meeting my brother and his girlfriend?”

“Children are different,” Cas mumbled. “But all right. I will meet your brother and his girlfriend. If they don’t like me, you have only yourself to blame,” he told Dean half-jokingly.

Dean laughed. “It’s a chance I’m willing to take.” His phone beeped. “Oh, hey, that’s my editor at the newspaper. Talk to you later?”

“Yes, Dean. I…love you.”

“Yeah. I love you, too, Cas,” Dean said with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, was that a more satisfactory ending that the previous chapter, hm? ♥


	13. Meet the Sibling and His Plus One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is put under scrutiny by Sam and threatens to elope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sort of)
> 
> No naked butts, implied or otherwise, though Sam is a bit of an ass - HA!  
> (Not really, I just wanted to make that joke because I'm like that.)
> 
> I have the next chapter partly plotted and I'm thinking it *might* be the final chapter. Or it might be that chapter and then one more. "THE END IS NIGH!!" is all I'm saying.
> 
> As with this whole fic, no betas were used in the making of this chapter, so please herd any typos or mistakes gently into the comments section.

Castiel fidgeted as he waited for Sam and Jess to arrive. Gabriel had tried to insist on joining them and Cas had been a bundle of nerves ever since. His brother could get him so wound up. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his.

“Hey. Relax, Cas. It’s gonna be fine, I promise you.” Dean squeezed his hand and stroked it with his thumb. “Jess is going to love you and so is Sam.”

“I don’t even know what to talk about.”

“Well, start with that awesome new job you’ve got. Then talk to him about those books you read. The ancient texts in other languages. Trust me, Sammy gets off on that shit, he will eat it up.” Dean grinned and snuck a fast, smacking kiss on Cas’ mouth. “Plus, he’s gonna see how happy I am and he’s not gonna be able to argue.”

Castiel smiled, then noticed a blonde woman and a very tall man walking their way. “Is that your brother and his fiancée?”

Dean turned and stood up. “Hey, beautiful!” he said, embracing the woman who could only be Jess. “Hey ugly,” he said, punching his tall brother on the arm. Then he turned back to the table, and Cas stood up, too. “Cas, this amazing creature here is Jessica, and this giant goober is my brother, Sam. Jess, Sam, this gorgeous guy here is my boyfriend, Cas.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Cas said as he shook both their hands.

They took their seats and Castiel noticed that Sam’s eyes had not left him. The waiter came and took their drink orders, and Sam was forced to look away at last.

“So, Cas, what do you do?” Sam asked as soon as the waiter had gone.

“Well, up until Tuesday, I worked as a financial analyst. But over the weekend, I was offered a job with the science museum. On Tuesday, I started work as the Curator in charge of their Mellitological exhibit,” Cas said excitedly.

“Bees? They’ve got a bee exhibit?” Castiel thought he detected excitement in Sam’s voice, but he wasn’t sure.

“Why the hell do you know what that means?” Dean asked, obviously a little annoyed that his brother had known when he hadn’t. Cas smiled at him and patted his knee.

“Dean, no one without a serious interest in bees or science is likely to know what it means. I suspect your brother has both,” Castiel told him gently.

“Actually,” Sam said, blushing slightly, “I do. Without bees, we pretty much couldn’t exist, Dean. I got a flier freshmen year about colony collapse –“

“Hey, that’s what happened to Cas’ bees!” Dean chimed in, and Cas gave him a surprised smile.

“That’s right. I’m surprised you remembered, Dean.”

Dean shrugged. “I pay attention when you talk, Cas.”

When Castiel turned back to Sam, the taller man was giving Dean and Cas a thoughtful look. “Um…what was I…right. I read the flier and I just got really interested in them. We’ll have to check out that exhibit.” He looked over at his fiancée and smiled sheepishly. “If that’s ok with you?”

She rolled her eyes affectionately. “Of course, you goof. Sounds like fun. Do you like the new job, Cas?” she asked just as the waiter returned with their drinks.

Castiel nodded eagerly. “Very much. I get to interact with the bees and teach people about them. It’s very fulfilling. I am off Sundays and Mondays, which is a bit of a change, but I don’t mind.”

“I’m proud of you. I think it’s great,” Dean said. “However, I have not eaten in many hours and I would like some food, so how about we check out these menus so we can order soon, huh?”

Cas wasn’t sure if it was genuine hunger or Dean’s way of taking the focus off Cas, but he suspected it was a mixture of both. Once they had ordered, conversation was less centered on him, though Sam did keep asking him questions throughout the meal. Most seemed designed to find out how well he knew Dean – or vice versa.

When dinner was over, they all decided to take a walk. He and Dean stepped out in front and Dean took his hand. Castiel looked at him in surprise, having expected him to be more reserved in front of his brother, but Dean just smiled at him. Then he bumped their shoulders and Cas relaxed.

Cas kept his head turned behind them to look at a particularly beautiful landmark. As such he saw a look between Sam and Jess that he supposed he wasn’t meant to see. He faced front again quickly before they caught him out, smiling softly to himself. If what he’d seen was to be trusted, Jess was already on his side and was convincing Sam to give him a chance.

Before Castiel expected, Dean had led them in a circle back to their cars. “You two gonna meet us back at the house for a drink?” Dean asked when they got to the Impala.

“Uh, yeah. Sounds good,” Sam said, with a flash of a nervous smile at Cas.

In the car a minute or so later, Dean said, “See? I told you. You’ve almost won him over. I can tell.”

“I think you might be right. Jess likes me, too, I believe,” Cas said.

“Oh, Jess loves you, yeah. Knew she would. She’s good people.” Dean laughed. “Sam’s good people, too, he’s just stubborn and thinks he’s right all the time.”

“He’s only looking out for you, Dean.”

Dean smiled to show he wasn’t upset. “Oh, I know, Cas. He’s my brother. That’s what we do. It’s just frustrating when I know I’m right and he doesn’t want to see.” He reached over and took Castiel’s hand again. “You’re making him see, though. It’s fast and you and I both know that, but it’s also right and he’s seeing that, too.”

Cas grinned and couldn’t stop the whole way back to Dean’s. Sam and Jess pulled in just as they were getting the door open. Dean opened the door and gestured Cas through.

“Hey, will you go and get us out some beers? I wanna talk to them alone for a sec, see if I’m reading things right, ok?”

So Castiel nodded and walked through to the kitchen. He easily located the beer, though his mind was elsewhere. He desperately wanted to know what they were saying outside. By the time he had the beers open and on the table, though, Dean was striding into the kitchen, with a big smile and a thumbs up that he was hiding from the couple walking in behind him.

“Hey, Cas got us all some beer,” Dean said, picking up a bottle and gesturing for Cas to do the same. As usual, he clinked their bottles together. Then he clinked with Sam and Jess in turn before finally drinking. Castiel hesitantly did the same.

Cas saw Jess nudge Sam, then she said, “Hey, Dean, where’s that thing you were gonna show me?”

Dean looked confused. “What thing?”

“That new edition of that movie, remember?” she said. It was obviously a ploy to get Dean out of the room, but she knew him well enough that it worked. Cas was nervous.

“Oh, yeah, the Collector’s Edition,” Dean said, and Castiel wasn’t sure if he was serious or just going along with her.

Regardless, he and Sam were left alone in the kitchen. Sam stared at his feet for a minute. Then Cas couldn’t take the silence anymore and they said each other’s name at the same time.

“No, wait, Sam, let me say something first, please.” He took a deep breath and thought of Dean and how it was with him. It made him relax. “I know you’re concerned about your brother. That our relationship is going too fast. That I’m crazy, perhaps.”

He laughed. “It _is_ fast, Sam. We both know that. But I’ve never felt what I feel for your brother for a single other human being in my life. I’ve never connected with anyone the way I connect with him. We seem to understand each other, without even trying.” He shook his head. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but when has love ever made sense?”

It was Sam’s turn to laugh. “Actually, Cas, I was going to say that I had reservations at first, but…well, I’ve seen you and my brother together tonight. I’ve never seen him like this with anybody.” Sam looked over his shoulder into the living room where Dean was talking to Jess. “I’ve honestly never seen him this happy. Not even when he published his first book.” He turned back and pinned Castiel with a look. “Just be good to him and you and I will get along just fine.”

Cas’ face broke into a smile so big it hurt his face. “I will be as good to him as I possibly can. I promise you that, Sam. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Sam nodded, satisfied. Then he smiled and held out his arms. “Well, then. Welcome to the family, Cas.” Castiel stepped into the hug uncertainly, but Sam dragged him forward into a bear hug.

“Thank you,” Cas said breathlessly.

“Hey, you making moves on my man?” Dean teased, coming back into the room. The grin on his face somewhat ruined the effect he was going for, however.

“Yes,” Cas dead panned as he and Sam separated. “My apologies, Jess. Sam and I have decided to elope. We just couldn’t contain our burning passion any longer.” The flat look he gave Dean made all three of them laugh out loud.

“Ok, _Sass_ tiel, tease all you want, but you should know this guy totally hit on my first boyfriend,” Dean said, taking a swig of his beer as he came over to put an arm around Cas’s waist.

“I did not!” Sam said in an indignant voice about three octaves higher than normal.

Dean nodded as he swallowed. “Yep. Used some line about showing him his wrestling maneuver to totally try and put the moves on him.”

“ _Dean_!” Sam objected, turning red. “He was a _wrestler_ and he _asked_ me if I –“

Sam’s story was interrupted by hearty laughter from Jess and Dean. Cas just smiled behind his hand.

Sam made a frustrated noise and stomped into the other room. “I hate you!” he called behind him.

“You sure you’re ready to put up with us?” Jess asked Castiel with a smile. “We’re pretty ridiculous.”

Cas smiled and nodded. “I like ridiculous.”

“Well, obviously, since you’re dating my jerk brother,” Sam said, coming back in.

Castiel looked at Dean fondly and said softly, “Obviously.”

When Dean could finally tear his eyes away from Cas, he asked, “So, Sammy, does this mean you approve?”

“I still think you’re going crazy fast, but, yeah, I get it. I think Cas is good for you.” Sam pointed with the hand holding his beer. “So be good to him, all right?”

“No worries there,” Dean said, looking at Cas and pulling him closer. “I intend for Cas to stick around for a long, long time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Sassy Cassie with every fiber of my sarcastic being. ♥ Whisper sweet nothings in my comment box, won't you please?


	14. No Judgement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel comes over to interrogate Dean, but things don't go quite as anyone planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how this happened. I have no excuses, but neither do I make any apologies. Not gonna lie, I kinda love this chapter, even though I know some of you won't.
> 
> Shit's about to get a little weird and then super smutty.
> 
> HUGE shout-out to Featherfluff for making FAN ART! I posted it on chapter one, but I'm going to put another smaller version at the end of this chapter, just for those of you who are too lazy to click back and look for it ;) It's got BEES! And copies of Dean's book! And half naked kissing! xD
> 
>  
> 
> _Thank you to MB & SFG for your invaluable insight on this segment. Unbeta'd and I spent all last night editing my book, so I was 1000% done with proofreading. Please alert me to any major errors with a gentle comment. There is definitely at least one chapter left. It might be two chapters, but we'll just have to see._

Gabriel had insisted that if Sam and Jess got to interrogate Cas, he should get to do the same to Dean. Cas had only agreed once he saw that Dean didn’t mind. Since Sam and Jess were in town, though, they decided to just get the whole family meeting out of the way at the same time.

Cas had spilled something on his sweater, so he was off in the other room. That meant it was up to Dean to answer the door when Gabriel showed up.

“Hey there, Dean-o, where’s my – oh, uh, hi,” Gabriel said, as his eyes landed on Sam. He seemed flustered for some reason and Dean rolled his eyes as he tugged him into the room.

“Cas, your weird brother is here!” Dean called in the direction of the bedroom. “Come on in, Gabe. Glad you could make it. This is my sister-in-law-to-be Jess,” he said, pulling Jess over from where she’d been going through his movies.

“Hi, Gabriel!” she said perkily. “We love Cas. He’s the best.” She said it with a big smile, but then she leaned close and looked menacing. “And so is Dean. He and Cas are really happy together, so if you try to mess it up for them, I will end you.”

“Um,” Gabriel said. “Hi? Nice to meet you. I think.” He glanced at Dean then back to Jess. “I just want to make sure my brother isn’t going to get hurt.”

Jess gave him a huge smile. “Good! Then we shouldn’t have any problems. Sam, come meet Cas’ brother.”

“Uh, hey-hi, I’m, uh, I’m Sam,” Sam stammered and Dean looked at him like he’d grown another head. The guy was blushing for some reason and Dean rolled his eyes again.

“Maybe it’s _my_ brother who’s weird!” Dean called out to Cas in correction

“Hey, uh, Sam, I’m Gabriel. Cas’ brother.” Like Sam didn’t already know that.

“Okay, they’re _both_ weird! Get out here so it’s less weird!” He looked back at Sam and Gabriel, who were taking turns looking at each other when the other wasn’t looking. Jess stood nearby, looking back and forth between them and sharing meaningful glances with Sam and weird sizing-each-other-up looks with Gabriel. “You idiots want a beer?”

The three nodded absently, not really paying much attention to Dean at all. He stood there watching them for another minute. As he finally shook his head and started to leave the room, he heard Jess tell Gabriel, “You seem pretty interested in my fiancé, there, Gabe.” Then in what would have classified for a whisper if she were on stage, she said, “Lucky for you, we’re into that, right, Sam?.”

And, yeah, Dean didn’t want to know what that was about, especially after Sam yelped, “Jess!” in a scandalized voice. “Not in front of my brother!” he added through clenched teeth, though not quietly enough to keep Dean from hearing it.

Dean walked through the doorway without a backward glance. “Oh, thank God,” Dean said when Cas came into the kitchen right after him. “I’m pretty sure your brother and my brother and Jess – you know what? They’re weird. Never mind. Let’s not dwell on it. You want a beer?”

“Yes, please. What’s happening?” he asked as Dean handed him a bottle.

“Hey, Cassie,” Gabriel said, walking into the room toward them. “I take it back. It’s all fine. I like him,” he said, but he was still looking over his shoulder at Sam.

“Ok, whatever this weird shit is, will you two cut it out until your brothers aren’t in the room? Obviously your weird fiancé is cool with it, so, hey, not judging, but just…I don’t need to know, man.” Dean handed the other two men a beer without looking at them, then clinked with Cas before taking a long swallow of beer.

“Dean, why do you keep saying ‘weird’?” Cas asked, an adorable frown between his eyes.

Before Dean could answer, Jess said, “Dean, don’t be such a prude. Polyamory is a perfectly legitimate –“

“Uh-tut-tut, that’s fine, Jess, ok? Like I said, not judging. Just don’t wanna hear about it.” Sam made a face and Dean gave him a flat look. “Oh, ok. Do you wanna hear about what me and Cas get up to in _our_ bedroom?”

Sam frowned in distaste. “No.”

“Ok, then. That’s what I thought.” Then he turned to Gabriel. “So, you gonna grill me or what?”

“What?” Gabriel asked, tearing his eyes from Sam with obvious reluctance. “Oh, um, yeah, do you really love my socially awkward bro here or are you just jerking his chain for a laugh?” He managed to look intimidating, even though he had to look up at Dean. The perks of being an older brother, Dean supposed.

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas and smiled down into his gorgeous blue eyes. “I really love him, Gabe. He’s amazing.” He sort of got lost in staring at Cas and forgot the other people for a minute.

“Yeah, ok, ew. I fully get your point about not wanting to know. Could you stop mentally undressing my brother please?” Gabriel said with a comical shudder. Then he glanced back at Dean’s brother before looking at Jess. “Seriously, though, Jess,” he whispered, stepping over to her. “Here’s my number.” Then he, Sam and Jess were all huddled together whispering in the corner.

“I don’t think there is enough beer for this,” Dean said to Cas.

“On the positive side, their attention is not on us,” Cas said with a playful smirk. He cast his eyes toward the door and raised his eyebrows. “We could always sneak off while they’re otherwise occupied.”

Dean grinned. “You know, for a socially awkward bee nerd, you’re pretty hot. Not to mention a sexual deviant,” he said with a wink.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Cas promised. Then he dropped his voice so low Dean felt it reverberate in his ribs. “But if you follow me, I’ll be happy to show you.”

“Hell, yes!” Dean said as they raced out of the room.

They had no sooner gotten through Dean’s bedroom door than Cas had Dean shoved up against it, kissing him like he was starved for the taste. Before Dean could do more than register that he was hard, Cas was dropping to his knees. Dean reached over and turned the lock as Cas fumbled with the fasteners on his jeans. Then suddenly Dean’s jeans were around his thighs, his boxer briefs shoved down on top of them and his cock was free – though not for long.

Cas’ technique lacked finesse, but he had more than enough enthusiasm. Dean, normally shy about making noise when people were nearby, felt as though he had no control over the sounds issuing from his throat. Cas’ hot, wet mouth was perfect on his cock. There was a little too much suction and a little too much spit and Dean wouldn’t have changed a thing.

The fingers of one of Cas’ hands were toying with Dean’s scrotum, while the others were kneading at the meat of Dean’s right ass cheek. Apparently not content with that, Cas withdrew the hand from around Dean’s balls and brought it back to the other cheek. He used the grip to propel himself up and down on Dean’s cock, while Dean’s head thrashed from side to side.

When he looked down at the wickedly erotic angel kneeling before him, swollen lips wet and red around Dean’s engorged cock, eyelids half-closed and pupils blown wide, Dean felt the pleasure inside him spike up to a fever pitch. He moaned Cas’ name and heard a small noise he didn’t immediately understand – or care about.

As lost as he was in the hot tug of desire throbbing down his dick, he only realized that the hands had let go of his ass when he felt one of them parting his cheeks. A cool, slick finger nudged at him and he rolled toward it, drawing it inside him. The unbelievably gorgeous feelings inside him spread and doubled. Now he was being pleasured back and front and he gave himself over to it.

Soon he was rocking back onto several fingers and forward into Cas’ throat and he barely knew where he was. Then he lost both sensations at once and nearly sobbed at the loss.

“Cas?” he asked brokenly.

But then Cas was raising Dean’s leg around Cas’ waist. When Cas entered him, Dean let out a sigh of relief and joy rolled into one. “Fuck, baby, so good, sooo good,” Dean murmured, barely aware of it. He was completely focused on the sweet bliss radiating through him from Cas’ cock.

Then Cas’ hand wrapped around _his_ cock and he moaned low in his throat. Nothing had ever felt this good. The spiraling tingles of ecstasy chased around his lower body, drawing in and pulling his balls up tight. He was on the verge of coming when Cas leaned in and kissed him. It tilted his pelvis just right on Cas’ cock and he came with a shout muffled only by Cas’ mouth.

The sounds Cas was making were obscene and Dean happily rode out the waves of his orgasm listening to them. Then Cas’ started pounding faster and harder, chasing his own release. When it crested he whispered Dean’s name like an incantation. He pressed Dean harder against the door for a minute while he caught his breath and Dean realized for the first time that there were sharp angles of wood digging into his back.

Ignoring the pain, he ran his hands through Cas’ damp hair and peppered his head and face with kisses. When Cas’ heart rate was back to normal he kissed Dean soundly and carefully pulled out, gently lowering Dean’s leg to the floor.

Dean leaned forward, away from the offending door. “Probably gonna have bruises,” he said with a laugh.

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry!” Cas said, turning Dean so that he could see.

Dean just laughed again. “Don’t sweat it, Cas. Totally worth it. If I’ve had better sex, I don’t remember it.” He pulled Cas toward him and kissed him again. “Look at it this way: every time I feel the twinges in my back, I’ll think of you.”

Cas smiled, pleased. “I don’t have much to compare it to, but it was the best of what I’ve had so far.”

Dean grinned. “Well, we’ll just have to make sure you get a lot more experience, won’t we?”

“This is an excellent plan,” Cas said.

“Mmm,” Dean said, walking Cas back toward the bed as he kissed his jaw and neck. “I say no time like the present.”

“Well, if you can convince my penis he’s had enough rest, I’m happy to go again, but you should top this time. I’m too tired,” Cas said as Dean lay him back on the mattress.

Before Dean could answer, his cell phone went off with a text. “Shit, I better check it. I kinda forgot about our brothers.”

Cas laughed at that. “I should hope so.”

“Pervert. Lemme see what Sam said.”

He grabbed the phone out of his discarded jeans and laughed out loud at the message.

**> We went to dinner without you. Asshole.                                                                                                                                                                 **

“Looks like we’ve got the house to ourselves.” He put the phone away and turned back to the bed. “Now, where were we?” he asked, climbing up on the mattress over Cas.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it was gonna get weird! Tell me what you thought, though. ♥


	15. Resolution + Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean both speak with Gabriel, then each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, darlings. This is the end. I think at some point there may be a time stamp, but for now, we are done with these adorable little schmoopy bastards. I hope you enjoyed this ride as much as I have. Sorry ~~notsorry~~ for all the bees.

“I cannot believe you had sex, with me in the house, Cas. That’s completely disgusting,” Gabriel said as soon as Cas picked up the phone.

“Says the person who hit on my boyfriend’s engaged brother,” Cas said flatly.

“Oh and the fact that it worked I guess is beside the point?” Gabriel asked.

“Obviously.”

“It was awesome, by the way,” Gabriel said, his voice dripping with innuendo.

“I’m so glad for you. The sex I was having with Dean while you were there was also exceptional,” Cas couldn’t resist saying.

“Okay, truce. Neither of us will discuss the incredibly hot sex we’re having with a super hot Winchester brother.” He dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “Or his super hot and surprisingly flexible fiancée.”

“I’m hanging up now, Gabriel,” Cas said in exasperation.

“Wait! I called for a reason. I can’t get Dean on the phone and I don’t know if he’s just busy or if he’s avoiding me. He’s usually home on Mondays, right?”

“I think he had a meeting with his editor today. That's probably why he’s not answering.”

“Oh. Ok. Then I’ll just send him another text. I don’t think he’ll mind me telling you this. We got another offer from the publisher. I’m going to recommend he takes this one.” Gabriel covered the phone and then came back on the line. “Hey, little brother, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“I love you, Gabriel.”

“Love you, too,” Gabriel said before hanging up.

Cas was smiling when he hung up. He knew he would probably have bad days and that things were far from perfect. However, right now, at this moment, he was happier than he could ever remember being. He had a new job that he loved. He had a wonderful man in his life that he loved. He had made two new friends in Sam and Jess. And he and his brother were closer than ever.

Life was good. A month ago, he’d never have believed it could be like this. He was so glad he’d written that letter.

He had finally gotten around to buying copies of all Dean’s books. He pulled one from the bag at random and curled up with it on the couch. It was several hours later before he was done. He’d continued reading while he’d made himself dinner, watered his plants and taken care of other little chores.

He wasn’t as moved as he had been by _Laughing_ , but he had still been swept away by the book. His boyfriend’s mind was a wonderland and Cas loved getting lost in his words. Cas couldn’t wait to read the next one. He decided to send Dean a text, since he hadn’t heard from him all day.

**Just read Crying in the Closet. Loved it. Love you. :)**

Cas was settling into a warm bath when his phone rang. He smiled automatically when he saw that it was Dean.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Heya, Cas,” Dean said and his voice was warm and happy. “It’s been a heck of a day, lemme tell ya. It’s good to hear your voice.”

“It wasn’t a bad day, was it?” Cas asked in concern.

“No, just hectic. And a little sad, since Sam and Jess went home. I got good news, which was even better because it came after what I thought was bad news, but turned out to just be…news.” Dean laughed.

“You’re saying news a lot, Dean,” Cas teased. “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”

“Well, first off, is that Sam and Jess told me today how great they think you are. They went on and on about you, actually.” Cas could hear Dean shuffling around on the line. “Then I had that meeting at the newspaper. They’re dropping my column back to weekends, but they’re expanding it. So my work load is dropping a little, but my pay isn’t dropping that much.”

“I suppose Gabriel’s news was the good news?” Cas asked.

“Man, it is _really_ good news. He managed to get me a great deal. I not only get better royalties from here on out, but I’m getting some back pay too, going back to the original publication.” The excitement was palpable in his voice.

“Dean, I’m so pleased. That’s wonderful news.”

“Yep. And you know the best part? The lighter workload means I can take off Sunday and Monday every week. So I can spend time with my favorite person.”

Cas smiled, feeling warm all over. “That _is_ the best part. That makes me very happy, Dean.”

“You make me very happy, Cas,” Dean said seriously. “You know that, right?”

That warm feeling expanded. “I do. You know how happy you make me, don’t you?”

“I do now,” Dean said with a smile in his voice. “Oh, and by the way, your brother gave us our blessing when I talked to him earlier. So I guess there’s nothing stopping us, huh?”

“Then I suppose there is one thing I don’t understand, Dean.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” Dean asked, sounding confused.

“Why aren’t you over here with me right now?” He smiled and added, “I’m naked, by the way.”

“Well, as a matter of fact,” Dean said, then paused. Cas heard his doorbell. “I was on my way over to surprise you.”

Cas grinned and got out of the tub as quickly as he could without falling or dropping his phone. He hurriedly wrapped a towel around his waist and headed for the door. He took a deep breath and turned the knob.

“Heya, Cas,” Dean said into the phone and right in front of Cas.

Cas grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him in. He shut the door and dropped his towel before saying, “Hello, Dean.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**1 Year Later**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean was watering the flowers in the backyard, surreptitiously stealing glances at Cas the whole time. He refused to wear the full protective gear of an apiculturalist – as Cas insisted Dean call it instead of beekeeper - instead opting only for the helmet and gloves with a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. That meant that his ass was shown off to good effect and Dean certainly wasn’t going to complain about the view.

However, today he was watching Cas for other reasons. He knew exactly when Cas had found what he’d hidden there. Cas started to reach for the next tray of hive and instead dropped his hand and stood staring for a minute. Then he carefully reached in and withdrew the envelope and ribbon Dean had placed there.

The envelope, which Dean had taken from Cas’ own stockpile of blue stationery, held a letter. The ribbon tied to it held a ring on its other end. Dean had picked it out with the help of Jess, Gabriel and Sam, but the engraving was all him. The inside of the ring read “Don’t be lonely. Just be mine. Love, D”

 

 

Dean watched Cas walk away from the hive far enough so that it was safe to remove his helmet and gloves. Then he kept watching as Cas read the letter and pulled the ring off the ribbon. He saw him slip it on and then Cas looked up. A grin split his face from ear to ear.

“Is that a yes?” Dean yelled.

“Yes!” Cas yelled back, then started running. When they reached each other he pulled Dean into a rib-crushing hug and said, “Dean, those were terrible puns.”

“I know. I figured you’d only say yes if you really loved me.”

Cas pulled back enough to look at Dean’s face. “I really do,” he whispered.

Then he kissed Dean so thoroughly he almost forgot what they were talking about by the time the kiss was over. When he looked at Cas standing there in his arms, though, he remembered.

“You said yes,” Dean said, wonderingly.

“You asked,” Cas said with equal awe.

“Damn, I love you, Cas.”

“And I love you. Even if you make truly awful bee puns when you propose to me,” Cas teased as they shared a series of chaste kisses.

“Hey, at least I didn’t keep the one about how much I love your stinger.”

Cas made a disgusted face. “Is it too late to change my answer?”

“Hey!” Dean said indignantly. “Your weird brother suggested it!”

Cas smiled to show he’d been joking. “Shut up and let’s go have celebratory sex.” He did his best attempt at waggling his eyebrows. “Hope you’re in the mood to get stung,” he said in a seductive voice.

Dean laughed out loud. “You’re my favorite dork, you know that?”

“I’d better be,” Cas said with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your comments and all the kudos and love. Please feel free to leave me more or tell your friends to come and do the same :) I love every last one of you ♥  
> [UPDATE: I know it says there is another chapter, but there is NOT more story. That is just the new text-only version for people who can't view the pictures. Sorry for any confusion.]


	16. NOT A REAL CHAPTER - JUST TEXT ONLY VERSION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the text only, un-beta'd version of the preceding fic. I had it on Tumblr, but I figured this might be easier. Sorry for anyone who missed the Chapter name and got excited thinking there was more.

Dean had been reading and occasionally answering emails from whiny little babies all morning and he was thankful when the sound of the mail truck gave him an excuse for a break. He got up from his desk and walked outside, squinting against the unexpected glare. He walked to the mailbox barefoot, enjoying the feel of the sun-warmed grass under his feet.

 

He waved at his female neighbor across the street and the male one two doors down. He didn’t know either of their names or what they did for a living, but they waved when they saw each other and really that was good enough for Dean. It was the most social interaction he needed from non-family on a given day.

 

The box was mostly full of junk mail, but there was one actual letter in there, something forwarded from the home office of the newspaper. It was more and more rare these days, but occasionally, people still sent snail mail letters to his advice column. He was guessing this was one of those. Usually, it meant little old lady questions, but there were exceptions sometimes. Everything in the electronic age was traceable, so anyone who wanted to send him a question that was truly anonymous often went the US Mail route.

 

He tossed the junk mail in the trash, saving out only the coupons for the mom and pop restaurant down the street. Then he set the letter on the side of his desk to look at after lunch. He still had a mountain of emails to sort through, but he wanted a change. It seemed like all the questions he’d read so far were selfish and childish. He hoped the physical letter would bring something different, even if it was from a little blue hair in Nowhere, USA.

 

After an extended lunch watching bad reruns and eating decent leftover takeout, Dean finally forced himself back to his desk. He still had time yet before any of his columns were actually due, but he was scheduled for a vacation and he needed to get as many finished ahead of time as he could.

 

With a sigh of resignation, he withdrew his letter opener from the desk drawer and slit open first the editor’s crisp white envelope and then the creamy stationery envelope that was inside it. He glanced at the envelope and its return address. _Not about anonymity, then_ , he thought. Still, the person had not included their name.

 

The envelope, of course, was addressed to “Dear Deanna”. The editor had liked Dean’s writing and down to earth advice enough to hire him, but she hadn’t believed that readers would accept a male advice columnist. So Dean became Deanna and his wildly popular column was a major reason that his newspaper stayed afloat. He had been offered syndication, but that was a little bigger than he wanted to go.

 

The way things were, he didn’t have to hire anyone else to help him with the letter volume, but syndication would require it. He wasn’t interested in working with anyone else. He’d fallen into writing partially because it was a solitary position and the advice column offered him the ability to work from home.

 

Dean suddenly realized he was staring into space with the envelope still unopened in his hand. He shook himself and carefully drew out the folded piece of paper. As he read, he slowly leaned back in his chair, the words surprising him. Not an old lady and definitely not another bored suburbanite complaining about the neighbor whose dog had peed on her tires or gotten cut grass on his side of the walkway.

 

Dear Deanna,

 

I read your column occasionally and I find your honesty and compassion refreshing. It is because of these qualities of yours that I am writing to you today, in hopes that you can provide me with some of both.

 

I am 35 years old. I am single and have no friends to speak of. My only social interaction, outside of a job that I hate, working alongside people with whom I share nothing in common, is occasional phone calls and even rarer visits with my brother. He’s an outgoing entertainment lawyer, so it isn’t as though we have much in common beyond the familial bond, though we do get along well.

 

Perhaps you are asking yourself if it is some character flaw within me that keeps people away and I cannot say if this is true or not. I do not think I am necessarily an unpleasant person to be around, however, I am socially awkward in the extreme. I have obscure hobbies and, as luddite in this electronic age, I find it hard to bond with others through shared interests.

 

I don’t always recognize sarcasm or jokes and this also makes it difficult to interact with people. I am not on the autistic spectrum, if you are wondering – I’ve been tested.

 

My brother says I don’t try hard enough with people, and perhaps he is correct. I prefer not to try when failure is virtually guaranteed. Years of experience have taught me to fear social gatherings and so I avoid them.

 

However, the older I get, the more isolated I feel. I want someone to share myself with. Not necessarily a romantic partner, but certainly a friend. I feel that we would not have to share things in common, necessarily, so long as the friend were willing to listen to me talk about my hobbies and I were willing to do the same for them. Ironically, I am pansexual, but that does little to help in this situation, except to slightly widen the prospect pool.

 

I apologize for the length of this letter. I did not realize I had so much to say. My question to you is this: How do you suggest I go about finding a friend? My brother always says there are places on the internet, but computers and I are not friends, either. If anything, they are a bigger puzzle than humans.

 

Once again, I am off track. I hope you have some compassionate, honest advice to offer. What can I do to reach out to someone? How can I find someone and how do I talk to them once I have?

 

Thank you, Deanna, for reading this, even if you cannot help me.

 

Sincerely,

 

Tired of Being All Alone

 

Dean read the letter twice, then sat there for a long time, contemplating. Tired’s problems weren’t so very different from his own. He _did_ have friends, but they were all sort of grandfathered in. They’d all known him so long that they saw him a certain way and didn’t really allow him room to expand outside that pigeon hole.

 

Any change was met with teasing skepticism that Dean knew was probably well-meant, but he found it hurtful and tiring. Just once he would like to try something new in front of them without the inevitable “Oh, my God, you’re eating salad?! Is it the apocalypse?!”-style response he had come to expect.

 

Without really thinking about it too much, he grabbed some paper and a pen and started writing a response.

 

Dear Tired,

 

I just received your letter and I want to tell you that you are not alone. Reading everything that you said about your life reminded me of my own life and how isolated I have allowed myself to become. Like you I don’t really enjoying interacting with people. I do have friends, but I feel that they know me too well - or at least they think they do. I don’t feel like I can really open up to them because they see me through a filter of so many shared years. I bet it’s the same with you and your brother.

 

I am interested in these “obscure hobbies” of yours. What are they? How did you discover them? What makes them so interesting to you? Personally, I like old cars - my car in particular. Working on her gives me a sense of accomplishment and keeping her nice makes me feel like I have control in the world. She was my dad’s, so I sort of inherited that hobby, but I think I love her more than he ever did.

 

Besides that, I like movies. Love them, really. I like watching the same ones over enough times that I know them by heart. I like knowing what’s going to happen. Knowing that, no matter how bad it gets, Indy is always going to get out of that vault, Kirk and Spock are always going to get back to that ship…it’s comfort food for my mind.

 

Also, I hate computers. I mean, I can use them and I have to for my job, but as far as using them for human communication? Not my thing. My brother makes me, though.

 

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is…I don’t know what to tell you, except…well, hey, I just had a thought and man, I hope you don’t think this is creepy. How about you and I try writing to each other for a while, huh? You can practice your social skills and I can tell you the things I can’t say to my friends and we can see if it helps us both?

 

Let me know what you think.

 

Wishing you the best,

 

Dean

 

He hesitated for a moment and added the “na” to make his name Deanna. He couldn’t risk giving away his identity, no matter how much he liked the person’s letter. He couldn’t even tell if it was a woman or a man. The handwriting was loopy and pretty, but that didn’t really mean anything.

 

He read it through a couple of times and decided he was satisfied with it. Then he folded it and put it in an envelope. He addressed it and put the PO Box that he used for his other writing mail as his return address. That reminded him that he needed to go check that mail before he left for vacation.

 

Since he still wasn’t in the mood to read any more emails right now, he decided he’d go down to the post office, grab the mail from the box and mail his letter to “Tired” at the same time. He grabbed a stamp and his wallet and keys and headed out to do just that.

 

****CHAPTER TWO

 

 _Finally_ , he thought. The vacation he and Sam and Jess were on was perfect. He was sitting on the beach watching his brother and his brother’s girlfriend build a sandcastle. Every few minutes, one of them would say something sarcastic and they’d end up flinging wet sand at each other. Dean just grinned, enjoying not being at home.

 

He hadn’t seen his brother in a while and Dean really enjoyed spending time with him. They’d always been close and Dean liked Jess a lot, too. She was feisty and didn’t get Sam get away with anything. Since one of Dean’s great joys in life was giving his brother shit, he and Jess got along famously. Of course, she didn’t let Dean get away with anything, either, but that was a small price to pay.

 

The waiter brought their lunch and drinks then and Dean took his plate with a huge smile on his face. As he expected, Sam gave him shit for ordering a burger, but he was ready with a surprise for his smartass little brother.

 

“It just so happens that I ordered the black bean jerk burger with avocado slices, alfalfa sprouts and dairy-free cheese.”

 

Sam’s eyebrows rose into his hairline, but then he smiled.

 

"Let me know if it's good, then," was all he had to say. 

 

And that was how his brother differed from his friends. They would have made a big deal out of it. Sam just took it in stride that Dean could not only make new choices but also better ones. Sam believed in him. It was nice. 

 

"Blech, avocados are gross," Jess said, sticking her tongue out in comic disgust. "You're letting your brother corrupt you to his weird vegetable ways, Dean. I'm so disappointed in you. What happened to solidarity, man?"

 

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you! I mean if he sees me eating it, it makes him too happy to pick on you for...whatever the hell that is," Dean teased, motioning at her plate with a baked sweet potato fry. 

 

"Uhhuh. I'm not buying it for a second. And this is a steak, smothered in mushrooms and onions. Those are the only vegetables allowed with my red meat besides potatoes. Leave the carrots and all that green shit for when we're having chicken." She made another face as she took in Sam's baked chicken and steamed veggies. 

 

"I did," Sam pointed out, smirking.  "And mushrooms are a fungus, not a vegetable. Eat your fungus-covered meat and enjoy your clogged arteries."

 

Dean just grinned as he continued eating his relatively tasty not-burger. "I've missed you two," he told them sincerely, shaking his head. 

 

The rest of their time went much the same, except for the few times the couple asked to have private date nights. Dean didn't begrudge them their couple time, but those nights were mostly spent at loose ends and he didn't enjoy them. 

 

The first time, he'd gone down to the tiki bar and eventually met a hot brunette. They'd seemed to be hitting it off until a gay couple walked by holding hands. When she expressed some homophobic thoughts on the issue, he informed her he'd rather suck a dick than listen to bigot and headed back to his room alone. 

 

The second night alone, he didn’t even try to pick anyone up, he just had a long-winded debate with the bartender over which Indiana Jones movie was the best and why. He might have hit on the bartender, but the guy had mentioned having a girlfriend. So Dean left it alone, even though he got distinctly not-so-straight vibes.

 

The third date night, he half-heartedly chatted up a cute blond. The guy was all right, but they weren’t really making a connection. Dean considered sleeping with him anyway, but then he called Dean “Daddy” and Dean went home alone a third time.

 

“Oh for three,” he murmured as he sat on his bed and removed the black button up he’d worn to the bar.

 

He fell back onto the bed and felt old, remembering when it all used to be so easy: Go to bar, find person to flirt with, get laid, go home, repeat.

 

At some point, though, he’d realized that wasn’t what he wanted anymore. He wanted someone who could still be there the next morning without his stomach filling with regret. He wasn’t finding them at the bar and he worked alone. He wasn’t willing to get set up and he didn’t use the internet for more than he had to. That left him with few options.

 

He fell asleep thinking about how nice it would be to just lie next to someone. He nearly regretted not sleeping with the pretty boy with the Daddy issues, just because it might have meant not being alone. In his gut, though, he knew that was no longer enough to satisfy him – if it ever really had been.

 

Luckily for him, the couple had apparently had enough date nights and the rest of the vacation was spent in their company, not feeling lonely in the slightest. Except maybe sometimes, when they kissed or held hands. Still, it wasn’t as bad as those nights without them.

 

****

 

When he got back home from two weeks in tropical paradise, he was barely inside the house before his phone started ringing. His editor was calling and she was frantic. He’d sent in enough columns to last him through the next week after he got back. Apparently however, the last several files he had sent her – including the one for the next day’s column – were all corrupted and unusable.

 

“Shit, all right, let me send them again. Gimme five minutes, I literally just got back from the airport.”

 

So he tossed his bags into the bedroom to be unpacked later and he booted up the laptop. He sent another email with the files attached and then went in search of food. He hadn’t even gotten the fridge open when she called back.

 

“The files are corrupted. Unless the email screwed them up twice, it’s got to be the files themselves. You’d better check them. If they’re corrupted, you’ve got to get me something to post tomorrow no later than 5pm.”

 

Sure enough, when he tried to open the files, Windows informed him that it was unable to open the them.

 

Using a lot of swear words, he set out to recreated them from memory. It had been over two weeks, but thankfully his recall of things he’d read and written was exceptional. He didn’t rewrite them word for word, he knew, but rereading the questions – which he had thankfully kept – brought it back to him enough that writing a new column only took him about half the time it would have starting from scratch.

 

Still, it was nearly five by the time he sent it off. He wasn’t happy about any of this at all. He’d written extra so that he could get ahead, not fall behind and have to do double the work for no more money. Next time he took off, he would suggest that she reuse old columns. He had asked about it this time, but she’d thought it was better not to start rehashing until he’d been writing the column for at least three years.

 

Both of them were no doubt regretting the decision now.

 

Instead of the relaxing evening with Indiana Jones he had intended, Dean decided there was no reason not to go ahead and write up the next column. That way he could maybe get caught up again by the end of the next day and have a couple of days to breathe when it was over.

 

****CHAPTER 3

 

Unfortunately, he learned the next morning that the corrupted files were caused by some kind of problem in his software, which he ended up having to completely remove and then reinstall. Because of that and the rewrites, he wasn’t able to get to the post office to get his fan mail until Saturday. The box was stuffed almost to capacity, so Dean was grateful he hadn’t had to leave it any longer. The volume of mail always made him a mix of happy and sad.

 

He’d made a bad deal when he’d signed on with his first publisher, so his royalties had never equaled what they should have, considering his obvious continued popularity. Not a week went by that he didn’t get at least one letter or package – and more often it was every day.

 

He stuffed the envelopes and packages into the tote he’d brought in for the purpose and walked back out to his car, grimacing as it started to rain. He considered stopping to read some before heading back, to give the rain a chance to die down. When the rain came down even harder, he decided that was the best choice.

 

The packages he would take to Charlie to analyze before opening them. He’d never had a problem, but there was always a first time. She’d x-ray them and have her dog sniff them and only then let him open them up.

 

He pulled a few letters out at random. He didn’t answer all of them personally. Quite often, he just plugged their name into a form letter, printed and signed it. Sometimes they asked for a picture and he would sign a headshot of the model they’d used to pretend to be him and send it on.

 

The few really touching letters, those he would respond to with a real letter. Usually not a long one, but one that was specific to the person and their situation. Since he didn’t do book signings, this was his contribution to the fans. Personal attention. He thought it mattered.

 

The first few letters were pretty basic stuff, all along the lines of “Just had to tell you how much I enjoyed [insert book title here] and what a great author I think you are.” Those would all get the form letter.

 

Then he reached at random and drew up two new letters. The first was a standard envelope, but behind it he saw a flash of cream. All at once, he remembered the letter he had written before he left for vacation. Sure enough, in the upper right corner, the return address said “Tired.”

 

He set the white envelope aside and slid his thumb into the corner of the flap of the cream one. Right away, he could tell that this letter was longer and that made him happy. If he was honest, it made him happy just to see that Tired had written back at all. It was nice to know his suggestion wasn’t considered too creepy or weird.

 

Dear Deanna,

 

Thank you for your letter. I must admit, I was rather surprised - but pleasantly so - by your personal response. It was very kind of you and I can only assume that it is not something you do frequently, so I am grateful that my words moved you.

 

The way you described your love of movies and what they mean to you was very touching. I can definitely see the appeal in taking comfort from such things. I feel the same way about some books. It is with some regret that I must admit to you now that I have seen very few movies, however. I was not raised in a home where movies and television were allowed and, unlike my brother, I have never quite managed to change that habit.

 

Reading, by the way, is not typically considered an obscure hobby, but in addition to a great many works of fiction, I enjoy reading books in other languages. Ancient texts on various nonfiction subjects from religion to horticulture absolutely fascinate me. You might disagree, but probably part of the appeal to me is at least similar to your love for classic cars. Though they are old, they have something that newer books/cars do not. A life. A soul, if you will, that I find magical. In my youth, I was expected to learn another language and it so happened that I had a natural affinity. In the end, I learned almost two dozen languages, some fluently and some just enough to read a bit.

 

My other hobby is bees. They astonish me. I was stung when I was younger and when it was explained to me that the bee died because of it, I was fascinated instantly. The more I learned - about their culture and language and habits - the more fascinated I became, until I actually ended up keeping bees for a long time. Unfortunately, my last hive succumbed to colony collapse and I haven’t yet had time to replace them. Instead, for now I content myself with watching them in the bee-friendly garden I planted for the purpose of attracting them.

 

I do know exactly what you mean about being invisible to people who know you best. They see through who you are to who they’ve always known you to be and any change is seen as aberrant behavior. It is one reason why I have no friends to speak of. I have had friends, but we have fallen at odds over one thing or another until it is just my brother and one or two acquaintances who were once friends.

 

My job is not fulfilling, I believe I mentioned. I should have listened to my heart and gone into Melittology, but instead I listened to my family and became an accountant. So after work, I read my books and sometimes the characters have a confidante, or even a lover, with whom to share their day to day lives and I suddenly feel overcome with jealousy for a fictional character’s life. A wave of loneliness washes over me and I just feel so depressed. I wasn’t always so lonely. How did I get to this place?

 

I apologize for getting so maudlin. I read a particularly sad book earlier and I think it is affecting my mood significantly.

 

At any rate, I thank you for reading once again. Please tell me more about your car and what movies you enjoy. At some point, I would like to start watching movies, so I could use suggestions.

 

I hope you will write soon.

 

Sincerely,

 

Tired

 

Dean was smiling by the time he finished. Tired’s loneliness didn’t make him happy, but the rest of the letter – and the way Tired had talked about being maudlin – had a rhythm to it and a way about it that was hard not to like. Dean found himself anxious to get home so that he could write back.

 

The rain, however, had other ideas. It beat down even harder against the windshield than it had been before Dean had decided to wait it out. So, instead of heading home, he set Tired’s letter aside for the moment and grabbed a few more pieces of fan mail.

 

An hour later he was finally inside, with the fan mail and Tired’s letter spread out on the table. The packages he left in the car until he could take them to Charlie. He decided on business before pleasure, so he worked on responding to all the fan mail he’d already opened before he started a response to Tired.

 

He typed and printed and signed for half an hour before he got all the open ones taken care of. He considered opening and responding to a few more, but he’d had a rough week and felt like he deserved a few minutes to himself before getting back to it. Not that he didn’t enjoy fan letters, but having to respond to all of them was definitely work.

 

When he was finally done, he realized it was lunchtime. So he ate a sandwich and thought about everything he wanted to ask or tell Tired about. By the time he'd eaten the last bite and washed his hands, he thought he was ready. 

 

Dear Tired, 

 

I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you. I was on vacation when your letter arrived and then there were issues with the columns I'd already written, so I didn't get to the post office until today. 

 

It was good to hear from you. I like the way you write in your letters. It's fluid in a way a lot of letters aren't. Like mine for instance ;)

 

I'm afraid I don't know much at all about bees, so you'll have to educate me. I knew the stinger thing and I think I read that they dance or something? Other than that I don't have a clue. Please feel free to enlighten me. I was never very good in school, so I don't know if I'll retain it, but I'll sure try. 

 

If I tell you reading ancient texts about religion sounds super boring will you be mad at me? I'm probably just jealous because I couldn't even master enough Spanish to order Mexican food right, so knowing you're reading in a dozen languages makes me feel inferior. Did I mention I was terrible in school? I think I have nerd envy, haha. That's a thing, right? 

 

I feel you on the loneliness. I tried to pick up a couple people while I was on vacation, but it didn't pan out. One was homophobic, which NO, another was taken and the third was a little too kinky for me. It was a total bust and I ended up back in my room alone, feeling worse than before. 

 

I just want someone to talk to and touch, you know? Somebody to lie on the couch - or the bed - and watch movies with till we fall asleep. It's not something I ever really had, so I can't say it's a thing I miss, but it's definitely a thing I want. 

 

Vacation wasn't all Sad Times at Whiny Baby High, though. I was there with my brother and his girlfriend and that was great. They're great together and she and I get along almost as well as he and I do. I made him proud when I ordered a veggie burger instead of a bacon double cheeseburger like I really wanted. It's always nice to see him proud of me. I’m certainly always proud of him.

 

You wanted movies suggestions, right? I had intended to have an Indiana Jones marathon when I got back from vacation, so I’m gonna put those on top of my list. All of the Indy movies, watch those. He’s actually loosely based on a couple of different real people and with your love of ancient educational stuff, I think a movie about an adventuring archaeologist might be just what you need to get you hooked on movies. Let me know what you think!

 

My car is a 1967 4-door Chevrolet Impala. She’s shiny black, gorgeous, and purrs like a happy kitty. She’s fully restored and has a factory tape deck that still works perfectly. Occasionally, I use one of those cassette adaptors and play music off my phone, but don’t tell Sammy (that’s my brother). He’d give me shit forever ;)

 

Man, I think I need to wrap this up. I’m worn out from all the extra work I had to rush through when I got back, plus I think I wanna try to get it back to the post office and in the mail, since you had to wait so long.

 

Hope to hear from you soon. Take care.

 

Always,

 

Dean

 

Dean hesitated, but went ahead and changed his name to Deanna again. He figured they might assume he was a guy, anyway, because of the car stuff – even though Dean knew lots of chicks who worked on cars – but he figured they should wait a while before getting into anything that important.

 

He wondered again if Tired was male or female. It didn’t matter, but it was an interesting question. Even if he listened to societies versions of gender roles, there were indicators for both, so it was pointless to try and figure it out. They’d talk about it when and if they talked about it. Until then, he would just enjoy the connection they were making.

 

**** CHAPTER 4 http://iwannaliveindeansdimples.tumblr.com/private/103416803205/tumblr_nfipviRW0Z1sg52bk

 

Working through the weekend made the next week slightly less stressful than the previous one and Dean was able to get ahead so that he wasn’t writing columns on the day or even the day before. By the following Saturday, he had managed to get a week ahead again, which was where he liked to stay. If he could get ahead of _that_ , even better.

 

He and his editor also came up with a solution to reduce the likelihood of any additional lost files, which made him feel a little more at ease. Now, whenever he finished a column, he would paste the text into the body of the email, as well as attaching the file. Hopefully his software wouldn’t crash again, but in case it did, they were ready. If only other life problems were so easy to solve.

 

Dean also managed to finish up all the fan mail responses and get them ready to mail. When he picked up the mail on Saturday and there was no creamy envelope, he tried to tell himself not to be disappointed. Tired had had to wait several weeks for his own response, after all. Still, it was hard not to feel let down.

 

When he got back home, he set the bag of letters, much smaller than the previous batch, on the kitchen table and made himself some lunch. He ate while he read the first small stack. They were all relatively the same, except for the one woman who had thought Dean’s picture (of the model) was hot and enclosed a picture of her own – a topless selfie. She was going to get a personalized letter, but not for the reasons she probably expected. He set her letter aside in a different pile.

 

When he pulled the next letter out of the pile, he didn’t pay much attention, except to note that he liked the deep blue color of it. A brief glance showed it had been addressed with a gel pen to make the ink visible, but the actual address was obscured by the forwarding label, so it had been sent to his publisher instead of him. That meant it was for an older copy of an older book, rather than one of the newer ones, which all had his PO box listed.

 

He slid the letter opener into the flap to reveal a slightly lighter color of paper. When he opened it up, he was a little shocked – and bit nervous that he was being stalked – by what he found. He recognized the handwriting right away. It was Tired. What the hell was going on? He started reading.

 

Dear D. Smith,

 

I have just finished your book “Laughing in the Abyss” and I had to write and tell you how much your words meant to me. I have not read your work before, but my brother gave me this one as a gift and it is truly the best gift he’s ever given me.

 

I don’t write fan letters, Mr. Smith. It is not in my nature. I rarely read popular fiction and never watch movies or television, so I do not participate in the celebrity worship so many in our society do.

 

I tell you this not to make myself sound superior, but to make sure you understand how unusual it is that I am writing to you. I am not an overly emotional person. While books often make me feel strong emotions, I cannot recall the last time a book brought me to tears. The last time, that is, before I read your book.

 

“Laughing in the Abyss” did not just bring tears to my eyes. In fact, I wept copiously. It was beautiful. Spectacularly beautiful. I wish I had a 10th of your gift for words so that I could explain how deeply moved I was.

 

So instead, I will just say Thank You. Thank you for this inspiring work. I intend to go out and buy any other books that you may have written. No matter what, please keep writing. You have a gift.

 

Sincerely,

 

Castiel D’Angelo

 

After finishing the letter, Dean just sat there at his table for a few minutes, stunned. Not being stalked, then. A coincidence. If he believed in fate…but he didn’t. Should he hide who he was? He read the letter through again, but was no closer to knowing what to say. Instead, he set it with the naked lady letter and decided to keep going through the mail for now, rather than trying to write back.

 

He went through another half dozen before he got to another blue envelope. It was addressed with the same gel ink, but it was only when Dean saw that the top right corner said Tired that he realized it was addressed to Dear Deanna and not to D. Smith.

 

He opened the letter and saw it was dated the same day as the one for his book. He was confused and felt like he’d been drinking. Smoothed the thick blue pages down against the table and began to read.

 

Dear Deanna,

 

I was very happy to receive your letter yesterday. I want to answer all your questions and ask more of my own, but brother gave me a book and once I started reading, I couldn’t put it down. Currently, my mind seems incapable of focusing on anything else.

 

I don’t even know if you read at all, since you’ve never said, but I urge you to go get a copy of “Laughing in the Abyss” at your earliest convenience. I felt as though the author was speaking directly to me, as if he or she could see into my life, into my mind and read what I was feeling.

 

It is the first time in my life that I have ever thought, “I wish I could meet this author in real life, have a cup of coffee, and talk about the universe.”

 

The author’s first name is an initial and that is why I do not know if they are male or female. Obviously, it is irrelevant to me, one way or the other. It occurs to me now that you probably do not know whether I am male or female. If you want to know, then I will tell you. I will also share my name. Otherwise, we can continue in relative anonymity as we are (since I suspect Deanna is not your real name).

 

I’m sorry. I want to keep writing, but my mind keeps wandering back to that book. I am thinking of reading it again right now. I will write again soon, in response to your letter and I promise the next one will be better.

 

Sincerely,

 

(No longer feeling so) Tired J

 

Dean put down the letter, reeling. Somehow, this Castiel had not only ended up with his book, but loved it enough to write a fan letter, and also a letter to his not-yet-friend suggesting that he read said book. And it was such an old copy that it had the wrong address and no picture of the model.

 

It was surreal was what it was. Especially given how much of himself Dean had poured into that particular novel. He knew the best thing for him right now was to walk away from it and do something else.

 

He set all the letters aside and went into the living room. He could do some more letters or even columns later, but right now, it was movie time. His car could use some TLC, too, but he wasn’t in the mood to get dirty right now. No, what he wanted was some good ole Spirk. He decided to start with the series instead of the movies. More stories that way.

 

Two hours later, he’d seen a variety of aliens and a lot of sexual tension, but he was feeling no better. Something Tired/Castiel had said was really getting to him and wouldn’t leave him alone. A few things, really. The guy – was it a guy? Whoever, the _person_ , Castiel wished that Dean could have coffee with him/her. Because Dean’s book meant that much, had moved him/her that much.

 

Suddenly, Dean knew what he had to do. He headed back to the table and took paper and a pen with him. He sat down and began to write.

 

 

 

**** Chapter 5

 

Castiel had had a long day at the office and he didn’t want to spend another night doing the same old things. Therefore, on his way home from the office, he had stopped by and picked up the full series of Indiana Jones movies, as suggested by Dear Deanna. He was looking forward to watching them while he ate his take-out Thai food.

 

He grabbed the mail and then carefully made his way to the house with his burdens. He envelopes reminded him he still needed to write back to Dear Deanna to answer the letter she had sent him. It had been rather rude of him not to answer her and he hoped she wasn’t upset.

 

He put the bag of Thai on the table and got down a plate. He took the mail and the movies and put them on the coffee table, then went back to the kitchen and prepared his meal. They hadn’t included chopsticks, so he had to get a pair of his own. He decided a glass of wine was in order and he poured that up, too.

 

He ate while he watched the first movie. It was far more interesting – and more disgusting – than he’d really expected. He had enjoyed it enormously. He thought he might be ready to write back to Deanna and tell her how much he’d liked it, as well as responding to the rest of her letter.

 

So thinking, he pulled the new mail off the coffee table to sort through it and, to his surprise, he found another letter from Deanna waiting for him. If he thought the letter’s existence was unexpected, he was doubly surprised by the contents.

 

Dear Tired,

 

Or should I say, Castiel? I’m sure you’re a little confused right now, but I promise you ain’t half as confused as me. See, that book that your brother gave you? Well, the thing is, that’s MY book.

 

I’m not Deanna and I’m not D. Smith, either – and yet I’m both. My name is Dean Winchester. I’m a writer and I use pen names. I made a bad deal in my haste to get published years ago, so I don’t make enough royalties to make a living and I have to write a column to support myself. My editor, she didn’t think people would take advice from a guy, so I became Deanna.

 

Here’s the thing. That book, it meant a hell of a lot to me, too. I put a lot of myself in it and of all the things I’ve written, it’s the one that is the most like me, written on the page.

 

And it spoke to you, right? So, what I was wondering was…how would you feel about having that cup of coffee with the author?

 

I’ll be at Phillip’s Avenue Diner in Sioux Falls on Saturday afternoon at 3. All you have to do is show up. Just tell Rosie you’re there to meet me and she’ll bring you to my table.

 

Hope to see you Saturday,

 

Dean

 

Castiel felt flushed and anxious. He didn’t know what to do. This was all so unexpected. For the first time that he could remember, he wanted his brother’s advice. What a terrifying thought _that_ was.

 

“Hey, little brother! Everything ok? You don’t normally call me unless I’ve called you first, so I admit, I’m a little worried.”

 

“Gabriel,” Castiel said and then sighed. “I need your help.”

 

Gabriel’s voice was grave as he said, “Ok, seriously, Castiel, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”

 

Castiel laughed. “It’s nothing bad. It’s just that I…met someone. Well, sort of. It’s complicated.”

 

Castiel proceeded to tell Gabriel the whole story, starting with his letter to Dear Deanna. Gabriel actually listened without interrupting, apparently realizing if he made a joke of this Castiel would never come to him for advice again. When he was finished, his brother hummed for a long moment.

 

“Wow, Castiel, that’s…weird. And kind of amazing. If you’re asking me if you should go to that diner, the answer is yes, abso-freaking-lutely. Get your ass over there on time and meet this guy.”

 

“Are you sure? I mean, it’s all a bit strange, don’t you think?”

 

“Castiel, have you met yourself? _You’re_ a bit strange. What are the odds of all this, huh? I mean the whole thing, from having your letter make the guy write and basically say ‘let’s be friends’ to me giving you that book and then it turns out the first guy is also the author and just…wow, Castiel. I mean, how often do you love things I give you, huh? That’s rare enough by itself.”

 

Castiel had to concede that that was true. “What even made you choose that book?”

 

“A friend of mine was talking about it. Raving really. And I happened to see it at a flea market, so I grabbed it for you. We both know _I_ wasn’t gonna read it,” he said with a laugh that Castiel matched.

 

“You really think I should go?” He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it one more time. He needed to be convinced that what he wanted was the right thing.

 

“Hell yes, I think you should go.”

 

Castiel had a sudden realization. “He didn’t ask if I was male or female,” he murmured.

 

“What? He doesn’t know you’re a guy?” Gabriel asked, incredulous.

 

“No. I mentioned it in my last letter and said I would tell him, if he wanted to know, but…he didn’t ask. He just told me that he was male and asked me to meet him.” Castiel’s eyes were wide in wonder.

 

“Wow, Castiel. The only other person I know who wouldn’t care is, well, you. Lock that shit down.” There was rustling on the line and then Gabriel said, “Hey, listen, bro, I gotta skedaddle, but let’s talk again soon, all right? Love ya!” With that, he hung up, not waiting for a reply.

 

Castiel reflected on Gabriel’s words – and Dean’s – for a very long time. In the end, he went to bed, still not quite sure what was happening to his life. As he lay there in the dark, he tried to guess what Dean might look like. He finally gave it up as a lost cause and tried to imagine what they might talk about over coffee. That was much easier to picture and with those pleasant thoughts, he was asleep within minutes.

 

For the first time since he’d started his current job, the weekend came far too soon. On Saturday, he woke up much too early and spent the day trying to prepare himself for the afternoon. He tried on at least a dozen outfits – even though he normally cared little about how his clothes made him look – and finally opted for a short-sleeved black button up with a bright blue tie and his favorite jeans.

 

He did the best he could with his hair, but it looked like he’d just rolled out of bed, no matter what he did, so he gave up. He considered his trench coat, but it really wasn’t the weather for it, so he left it behind, grabbing his smaller jacket of the same color instead.

 

He found the diner easily, smiling at the walrus statue on the sidewalk across the street. He found a spot and parked, noting that he was a few minutes early. He made himself get out and walk to the door. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and walked inside.

 

Rosie was standing there and he managed to tell her why he was there. She smiled at him sweetly and grabbed a menu and silverware. As she led him down the aisle, he caught sight of the most beautiful man he’d ever seen sitting at the booth farther away. He thought it was a shame that wasn’t Dean, and tried to guess who was.

 

Then he realized that the beautiful man was the only person sitting alone and that Rosie wasn’t stopping at any other booths.

 

The man turned from the window he'd been staring out of as he noticed Rosie's approach. A smile lit up his moss green eyes and took Castiel's breath. Castiel smiled back, shyly. 

 

"Here you go. I'll be back in a few to get your order. Dean, you need more coffee, hon?"

 

Castiel barely registered her words, so focused was he on the man in front of him. Realizing he was staring he dropped his eyes to the table and slid onto the seat. When he looked up again Dean was still smiling at him. 

 

"So, Castiel - did I say that right?" At Castiel's nod, he continued. "I'm really glad you made it. I really didn't know if you would."

 

Castiel smiled again. “I wasn’t sure myself. This whole situation is very strange,” he admitted with a small shrug.

 

“Yeah, tell me about it. When I saw your letter to D. Smith, I wondered if I had a stalker on my hands!” Dean confessed with a chuckle. “But then I realized you

obviously had no idea who I was.” He laughed and glanced out the window. “You know, it’s kinda funny. I was actually disappointed when I got the mail because I didn’t see any cream colored envelopes.”

 

Castiel’s smile broadened into something much less nervous. “I was very excited to see one from you so quickly.” He laughed. “Terrified of the contents, but excited.” He wet his lips. “I wasn’t sure what to do, but my brother convinced me showing up here was the best thing. I don’t believe in fate, but coincidences like this are hard to put down to chance.”

 

Dean nodded, pursing his lips. “Yeah, that was kinda what I thought, too.” When the silence stretched for a moment, Dean fiddled with his silverware and said, “So, uh, you really liked the book?”

 

****CHAPTER 6

 

Castiel’s face lit up at the question. “Yes, Dean, I loved it! The way you talked about family and being alone and how it got easier but not better…It spoke to me, Dean. All of it. It was like reading my own thoughts and experiences.” Castiel smiled with self-mockery. “I suppose that might make me narcissistic.”

 

Dean smiled at him, trying not to get lost in those penetrating blue eyes. “Nah, I don’t think so. I think being able to write things that people can relate to is one of my goals as a writer.” He saw the waitress heading back their way. “Oops, here’s Rosie. I know what I want, but you should probably check the menu.”

 

“I will just have whatever you are having. I am not a picky eater.”

 

Dean grinned at his new friend. “You sure about that?” When Castiel nodded, he shrugged. “You want coffee, too?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

“Hey, boys, you ready to order?” Rosie asked with a smile as she approached, pen and pad out.

 

“We are both going to have a Spicy G with sweet potato fries and a Purple Cow. And he’ll also have a coffee.” He smiled at Rosie and she smiled back.

 

“I’ll get that coffee right out to you and your orders won’t be long, fellas.” She patted Castiel on the shoulder as she left.

 

“I suppose since I said I’d eat whatever, I don’t get to ask what a Spicy G and a Purple Cow are, do I?” Castiel asked, making Dean laugh. “Back to the book, though, I definitely related to it. I lost my parents not long after I graduated college and my brother was all I had for a long time.”

 

He laughed, but there was an echo of sadness in it. “I was so angry when they died because here they had made me study business and accounting when I didn’t want to and now that I was done, they were gone and it didn’t matter. They weren’t going to be around to see me doing what they wanted, so I could have followed my dream of studying bees instead.”

 

Dean nodded thoughtfully. “Ok, so I should tell you, Laughing was a book I wrote when I was in a bad place. Well, just coming out of a bad place. Writing it helped me tremendously. I lost my parents, too, but earlier than you did. My mom first and then my dad. Losing her was harder because not only was she gone, but it changed him, too. And nothing I did was ever, ever good enough.”

 

"I'm sorry, Dean. It makes sense now why your book spoke to me. You and I have somewhat similar pasts, I suppose."

 

"I'm sorry about your parents, too, Castiel. You really never thought about going back, studying...what was it?...Mellitology? Or was it a financial thing?"

 

Castiel sighed. "No, not financial. This...it probably won't make sense to you, but...I don't have to work. I do it because I don't want to feel like my parents...I don't know. It's hard to explain."

 

"You don't want to fail and give them the satisfaction, even though they're gone," Dean guessed. 

 

"Yes! Exactly that. It's stupid, though. It is so childish. I hate my job and I could easily go back to school. Not many people have that option - and I'm squandering it," Castiel lamented. 

 

"You're scared."

 

Castiel nodded. "I'm scared."

Rosie arrived then with Castiel's coffee and their Purple Cows. Dean laughed in delight at Castiel's bemused expression. 

 

"Trust me, Cas. They're awesome. I don't like grape soda or vanilla ice cream and I love them." 

 

He watched as Castiel took a hesitant sip, trying to ignore just how sexy he suddenly realized the guy was. He had thought he was good looking when he walked in, but somehow getting to know him was making Dean's attraction stronger. 

 

"Your burgers will be out in just a few, boys," Rosie promised with a smile as she walked away. 

 

Castiel's eyes widened over the straw. "It's delicious!" He shook his head wonderingly and prepared his coffee. He drank a large swallow of it before setting it back down. 

 

"So tell me more about yourself, Dean. What do you do besides watch movies and - Oh! Before I forget, I actually watched 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' the day I got your invitation to coffee." Dean watched as he took another long sip of his ice cream float. 

 

Dean grinned. "Yeah? What'd you think? Great, right?"

 

Castiel nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I enjoyed it very much. I find Indiana Jones a fascinating character. He has brains and brawn." Castiel glanced down and fiddled with his napkin. "Much like you, it would seem. I can see why you like the movies so much."

 

Once again, they were interrupted by Rosie, but Dean hardly noticed her as she set down plates and checked on the need for ketchup and other items. He answered by rote, all his attention honed in on Castiel D'Angelo. A very sexy, interesting man who apparently felt the same way about Dean. 

 

"I love cheeseburgers. Letting you choose was a good call," Castiel told him with a grin. 

 

Dean cleared his throat and focused back on his burger. "Wait till you taste it. It's amazing. You won't even need the mayo, trust me," he told Castiel, gesturing at the small metal cup of speckled white sauce. 

 

He watched Castiel's face as they each took a bite. Castiel's eyes closed and the corners of his mouth tilted up as he chewed with obvious relish. 

 

"Dean, oh my goodness. You were right. Amazing is the word."

 

Dean smiled around the spicy fried pickles he was chewing and grabbed a fry to eat when that bite was finished. He washed it down with float followed by coffee. 

 

"You know, Castiel. I eat here all the time, but I don't think I've ever enjoyed it quite this much." He hoped his sincerity was clear on his face as he smiled at Cas. 

 

It must have been because Castiel looked up at him and froze, looking stunned. Then a huge smile broke across his face that Dean couldn't help but answer. 

 

"I've never eaten here before, but this is the most enjoyable meal I can remember having in years. Thank you for inviting me," he said quietly, dropping his eyes as he grabbed a couple fries. "Thank you for writing back to me."

 

Dean, unable to think of anything clever to say, just smiled. He sipped his float and added more soda from the bottle when the straw started to make noise. He ate a few fries and searched for a new topic of conversation. Castiel seemed at a similar loss, but he finally spoke first. 

 

"This really is delicious, Dean. I've lived here for years and never knew about this place. I will have to come here more often." He swallowed and then looked up nervously. "Perhaps we can meet here again sometime?"

 

Dean's grin was huge and hurt his cheeks and probably looked ridiculous, but he didn't care. "That'd be awesome. I'd like that." He ate another bite of his burger and then said, "You know, you're honestly not as awkward as I expected. You seem pretty normal to me," he told the blue-eyed man with a lopsided smile. 

 

Castiel smiled and said, "I am certainly glad you think so. You put me more at ease than I might have expected," he confessed. 

 

Dean nodded as he finished his latest bite of food. “Same here. I don’t know if it’s the letters or what, but I feel pretty comfortable with you. I mean, I know there’ve been awkward pauses or whatever, but on the whole…” He smiled and shrugged as he finished his float.

 

Dean stared at their rapidly emptying plates and realized he didn’t want Castiel to leave yet. He didn’t want to go home alone yet. He bit his lip, hesitating and then plunged forward. “So, hey, if you’re not busy today, after we eat, would you wanna do something else? Like, I dunno, maybe go to the falls or whatever?”

 

Castiel’s face lit up in a grin that showed almost as much gum as tooth. “I’d really like that. I’ve always thought the falls seemed like a romantic place,” he said, then flushed and ducked his head, embarrassed.

 

Dean smiled and reached forward, grabbing hold of Castiel’s hand. “Sounds good to me, Cas,” he said softly, stroking his thumb across the back of Castiel’s knuckles. When Castiel’s head whipped up in hopeful surprise, Dean smiled at him.

 

Neither ate much after that and once they’d paid and Dean had hugged Rosie goodbye, they agreed to take Dean’s car to Falls Park. Castiel seemed fascinated by the vehicle, as if he’d never seen a classic car up close. Maybe he hadn’t, Dean supposed.

 

“Dean, this truly is a beautiful automobile. I would never believe how old it is, if I didn’t know,” Castiel enthused, running his hand along the front seat lovingly.

 

Dean suddenly wanted to know how that hand would feel on him. He cleared his throat and turned his eyes forward as he started the car.

 

“Uh, thanks, man. I do love my baby. I’m pretty proud of the restoration and keeping her looking nice.”

 

Castiel continued to compliment - and ask questions about - the car as they drove, so they didn’t lack for conversation. Soon Dean was passing the Silver Moon Lounge and heading up the driveway to the parking lot. Considering the time and the day, the park was not as crowded as Dean had expected. He walked around to Castiel’s side of the car and waited for him to close the door.

 

They walked to the right, up toward the highest point of the falls, the thundering sound getting louder as they got closer. Castiel stopped to look at the various markers, but then they reached a picturesque spot by the fence and both men stopped to admire the view.

 

Without even stopping to think about it, Dean reached out for Castiel’s hand and turned to smile at him as he took it. When he turned back, Castiel’s head was suddenly on his shoulder. He smiled even wider and leaned his own head against Castiel’s mop of dark hair. He resisted the urge to kiss the top of his head, but only just. They weren’t quite there yet, though.

 

After a few long, wonderful moments, they both started walking down toward the bottom half of the top of falls, where colored and weathered boulders lay. They did not let go of each other’s hands. They stepped out onto a large rock and Dean took their picture. Then they walked down and across the overlook before heading over to a park bench to sit for a while.

 

“It’s lovely here,” Castiel said as Dean separated their hands at last.

 

“Yeah, it really is. Romantic, too, just like you said,” Dean told him in a quiet voice. He took the hand he’d been using to hold Castiel’s and slid his arm around the man instead, staring into his eyes.

 

Castiel stared back like he was getting paid for it by level of intensity. It made Dean smile and he saw Castiel’s eyes crinkle at the corners, though his full lips barely moved.

 

“This is nice, Dean. It’s been a really good afternoon.” He laughed and looked back out over the falls. “I don’t really want it to end,” he confessed.

 

Dean shrugged. “So spend the rest of the day with me. We can hang out here a while, drive around, do whatever. Then later we can have some dinner, maybe watch a movie? You haven’t seen Temple of Doom yet, right?”

 

Castiel looked at him, obviously pleased but surprised. “I would really enjoy all of that, Dean. Have you, um, ever been to Palisades?”

 

“The state park? Yeah, when I was a kid, I think? You wanna go there next? They’ve got an old bridge or something, right?”

 

“Yes, they do. I’d like to go there, but sitting here for a while is good, too,” he said, the smile saying he meant it.

 

Dean pulled him closer and leaned their heads together. “So tell me about bees, Cas. What makes them so amazing, huh?”

 

****CHAPTER 7

 

As soon as he was back inside his house, Castiel leaned against the door and closed his eyes. He’d had the most amazing day and he still couldn’t believe it. Dean was…well, he was gorgeous and funny and smart and sweet and wonderful.

 

Not to mention that he tasted like heaven.

 

They’d spent a long time talking about bees and then they’d discussed Dean’s book some more. After that, there’d been dinner and finally the movie. They had kept things chaste for most of the night, but when the movie was over and they were not quite cuddled up on the couch, Dean had finally looked into Castiel’s eyes and gone in for a kiss. It, too, had been chaste to begin with, but the burst of pure want that sparked between them had quickly escalated into roaming hands and grinding hips.

 

Castiel could have contentedly kissed Dean for hours, but he wasn’t ready for more than that yet. It had been years and, while his body longed for it, he knew he was too at risk of emotional complications. So he had reluctantly pulled away and Dean had let him go – after a few more mind-blowing kisses, anyway.

 

Castiel smiled at the memory, briefly touching his lips. He pushed himself away from the door and put his keys and wallet on the side table. Then he stripped off and hung up his jacket and toed off his shoes. He made his way to the bathroom and removed the rest of his clothes, turning on the shower.

 

He stopped for a moment to lift his shirt to his face and indulge in the scent of Dean. Then he dropped all his clothes into the hamper and got under the spray. As he soaped himself up, he told himself that he wasn’t going to think about Dean and get off. His resolve lasted until he touched his cock and found that, while not hard, it was still heavy enough to hang down lower than usual.

 

Because he was thinking of the dirtiest things he would love Dean to do to him, it was over very quickly. He let the water run over him like a lover’s embrace while he came down from the bliss, then finished rinsing off and ended the shower. He wasted no time crawling into bed once he was dry, falling asleep remembering Dean’s hand in his.

 

****

 

“So how did it go?” Gabriel asked without preamble when he answered his phone. “Was he nice? Are you going to see him again?”

 

Castiel laughed at his brother’s enthusiasm. “Yes, he’s nice. Yes, I’m going to see him again. It went…well, to be honest, it was amazing. He’s everything I could have hoped from reading his letters and his book.”

 

There was genuine pleasure in Gabriel’s voice when he said, “That’s really good to hear, Castiel. I’m happy for you.” Then Castiel could hear him clap and his tone grew more neutral. “So. From what my friends said, this guy’s books are pretty popular. So why’s he still writing that column. Is it an ego thing?”

 

“No, he says he made a bad deal when he first got published and he doesn’t get a lot of royalties.” Castiel chewed his lip. “You know, he personally answers all his fan mail?” Shaking his head, he said, “I don’t know what kind of deal he made, but he gets fan letters every single day, so his books must sell reasonably well.”

 

“And did you tell him your gorgeous brother was a brilliant entertainment lawyer?”

 

“Gabriel, I’m sure he can’t afford your fees,” Castiel said in exasperation.

 

Gabriel scoffed. “Do you really have so little faith in me, kiddo? I would do it pro bono. Then, once he’s gotten the money he deserves, he can keep me on retainer. It’s win-win.”

 

“You would really do that?” Castiel asked, humbled. “I’m sorry I doubted you.”

 

“Eh, it’s ok. I’m kind of a schmuck half the time.” If he’d been in person, Castiel knew Gabriel would have winked.

 

Castiel just laughed. “I will speak with him about it and give him your contact information. Fair enough?”

 

“Fair enough. Later, bro.”

 

“Love y-“ Castiel started, but Gabriel hung up in the middle.

 

Though he wanted to call Dean immediately, he forced himself to wait until the afternoon. He found his heart rate increasing with every digit pressed, until it was thundering away by the time the first ring happened. Dean picked up before the ring had even finished.

 

“Castiel, hey,” he answered, sounding mildly breathless. He sounded happy. “Been wanting to call you since I got up this morning,” he confessed.

 

Castiel smiled and agreed, “It was difficult to wait. Especially since I have something to discuss with you.”

 

“Oh, yeah? Sounds serious. What’s up?” Castiel heard the unmistakable sounds of kitchen puttering in the background.

 

“Well, as I believe I mentioned, my brother is an entertainment lawyer?”

 

“Yeah, I think I remember you talking about it.” The sound of a whisk could be heard as he talked.

 

“Gabriel, my brother, well, he has expressed to me that, if you were to want to take on your publishers and try to get a more fair deal, he would be willing to assist you, pro bono.”

 

Castiel heard the whisk stop and the bowl hit the table as it was set down and he had a moment to panic before Dean’s voice, quieter than before, came down the line again.

 

“He thinks he could do that? I mean, I signed the contract.”

 

With relief, Castiel said, “He seemed confident he could help you, but I don’t know the details.. Would you like his number?”

 

They exchanged the information and discussed that a little further and then Dean said, “I had a really great time yesterday, Cas. I know I already said that, probably a lot, but I mean it.”

 

“Me, too, Dean. I’d like to do it again very soon,” Castiel admitted, smiling to himself.

 

There was a pause and then Dean asked, “You busy right now?”

 

Surprised, Castiel said, “What did you have in mind?”

 

“Well, I was thinking I could make dinner and then we could watch the next Indiana Jones movie.”

 

“Sounds like fun. If you’re making dinner, I’d like to bring dessert, is that all right?” Castiel asked, unsure of the social protocol.

 

“Heck yeah, Cas. See you soon,” Dean said, hanging up.

 

A few minutes later, Castiel found himself standing in the bakery of his local grocery store, staring at all the options. He had no idea what Dean was making or what might go best with it. There were probably 50 choices in front of him and he was not great at making decisions. In the end, there was a two-for-one special on pies, so he grabbed one chess pie and one mixed berry.

 

It was clear he made the right choice when Dean answered the door and saw the two pies in his hands. His face was the picture of delight and Castiel smiled, pleased with himself. Dean took the pies and smiled at Castiel almost the same way he’d looked at the pies, only softer, and Castiel felt the corners of his own mouth tick up that much higher.

 

“Did I mention how much I love pie, Cas?” Dean asked as he let him inside. “Come on back to the kitchen, dinner’s just about ready.”

 

Dinner turned out to be homemade lasagna with sausage and peppers and several kinds of cheese. Castiel was surprised by how good it was and he made no secret of how much he enjoyed it.

 

“Dean, this is even better than that cheeseburger,” Castiel told him, then grinned. “And you should know I don’t say that lightly.”

 

They each had a small slice of berry pie and then settled in on the couch to watch the Last Crusade. Since they both had a tendency to shift gradually closer together, it wasn’t long before they were snuggled up, Dean’s arm wrapped around Castiel’s shoulders and Castiel’s hand on Dean’s knee.

 

“Hey, you wanna stretch out?” Dean asked, lying back sideways and pulling his legs onto the couch.

 

He patted the cushion in front of him and Castiel cautiously lay down in the same pose. Castiel left space between their bodies, which left him on the very edge of the couch. Dean huffed a laughed and pulled him flush against his chest.

 

“Come on, don’t fall off the couch, dork. I’m not going to ravish you if you get too close.” Then Castiel felt warm air ghost over his ear. “Not unless you want me to,” Dean whispered before settling back, palm still flat against Castiel’s stomach.

 

True to his word, Dean kept it just that chaste for the duration of the movie. When it was over, he helped Castiel sit up and sat up himself. Only then did he pull Castiel in for a kiss, which Castiel happily accepted. Dean’s mouth lit him up in ways he wasn’t used to, both when they kissed and when Dean spoke.

 

It was a heady mix.

 

When hands began to roam again, Castiel wanted to sink into it, but he also knew he wasn’t really ready for more than this right now. He wanted to see where their…relationship? Could it be called that after two dates and a handful of letters? Regardless, he wanted to see where it was going before he let himself give in to any physical desires – no matter how strong they might be.

 

“We should…” Castiel started, pulling away at last, but unable to tear his eyes away from Dean’s lips long enough to finish the thought.

 

“Yeah, we probably should,” Dean agreed. “One more for the road?” he asked, catching Castiel’s eye at last and capturing his mouth once more.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Castiel was finally putting his jacket back on and getting ready to walk out the door.

 

“You want the other pie to take home?” Dean offered.

 

“No, thank you. I’d only end up having it for lunch tomorrow and regretting it,” Castiel told him with a smile.

 

“I like you, Cas,” Dean said teasingly. Then he stepped closer and his face was serious. “I really like you. This weekend has been…” he shook his head, apparently not finding the words he wanted.

 

Castiel nodded, smiling. “Yes, Dean. It has. I like you, too. Call me soon?”

 

Dean gave him a lazy grin. “Count on it.”

 

****

 

Dean spoke with Gabriel on Monday and the guy was pretty sure he could negotiate a better deal for him. He sent Gabriel everything he needed and Gabriel said he’d give him a call when he’d formulated a game plan. Dean thanked him profusely, especially for agreeing to do it for free, but Gabriel had just brushed it of with an admonition not to hurt his baby brother. Dean promised he’d do his best.

 

Said brother slowly became a constant in Dean’s life over the next few days. Dean had known he was lonely, but he hadn’t realized how much he had needed a new person in his life until Cas was there, filling up the empty spaces. Dean’s weekly routine didn’t change that much, but now instead of just “work, eat, work, eat, watch tv, sleep, repeat,” each daily activity was punctuated with texts or phone calls with Cas. Even sleeping meant a goodnight text and a good morning one.

 

On Thursday, Dean was going stir-crazy and needed to get out of the house. So after lunch, he headed up to the post office box and grabbed his fan mail, even though he’d just picked up it up the previous Saturday before meeting Cas. He didn’t pay much attention to it, since he wasn’t expecting a letter from Cas, but when he got home and placed it on the table, he got a surprise.

 

There, in amongst all the other letters of varying sizes and colors – and scents, his irritated nose reminded him – lay a familiar blue envelope with familiar handwriting. He smiled as he pulled it from the pile, wondering why Cas had decided to write him again – and hadn’t told him.

 

Hello, Dean.

 

I’m sure you’re surprised to receive this, but there are things that are harder to say in person, or even in a text message.

 

I told you that I enjoyed our time together this weekend. What I didn’t say was that it is the best weekend I can remember having. It’s Tuesday night and we’ve been communicating a lot today, but I feel like I could talk to you for days at a time and never grow tired of it.

 

I have already grown quite attached to you. I find your voice soothing, your way of thinking inspirational, your eyes hypnotic, and your kisses addictive. So, I guess what I wanted to say was, if you are not similarly affected by me, please don’t drag this out. Be kind and tell me now.

 

Your friendship alone means a great deal to me and, even if you do not feel the same way I do romantically, I would hope we could remain friends.

 

Regardless of your answer, thank you for everything. You have brought the amazing into my dull life and I am so grateful.

 

Always,

 

Castiel

 

Dean sat there for a few minutes, reading and rereading the letter. The warm feelings Cas’ words gave him didn't dissipate - though Dean felt bad that he hadn't made his own feelings clear enough that Cas had to ask. He didn't want to make Cas wait for a letter as an answer, but he also wanted to respond in kind.  
  
Finally, he opted to write Cas, but call him first. He picked up his phone and dialed, then realized Cas would be at work. The call went straight to voicemail, so he left a message.  
  
"Hey, Cas, it's Dean. Just got your letter. You don't have to worry. I feel the same way. Call me when you're off work and I'll happily elaborate. Bye."  
  
After he hung up, he found some of his best stationery as well as a notebook and sat back down to write. It took him several drafts to get it the way he wanted it, but when he was done, he copied it from the notebook over to the stationery. He wondered briefly if poems were cheesy, but then he decided if a writer couldn’t send poetry to his romantic interest, who could?

 

Hi, Castiel.

 

Obviously, I wasn’t clear enough about my feelings before. I hope this will clear things up for you completely.

 

_As I sat at a cracked diner table_

_Where I’d spent countless hours before_

_I looked up and saw an angel walking toward me_

_With a breathtaking gaze like dual starlit skies_

_A smile that could send the sun into fits of jealousy_

_For failing to match its brightness_

_And somehow, though I felt completely undeserving,_

_He walked into my life, as sparks flew between us_

_To save me from my self-imposed hell_

_Over coffee and red meat we spoke of_

_Of the profound_

_Of the trivial_

_Of the truth about ourselves that no one ever sees_

_Later, when his lips met mine,_

_I thought I had found nirvana_

_But there in the diner_

_Over floats and fries_

_His mind reached out for mine_

_And found a kindred_

_I will never be the same_

So, Cas, is that clearer now? You’re not in this alone. I am in as deep as you.

 

With great affection,

 

Dean

When he was satisfied with his handwriting, he carefully folded it and sealed it in the envelope. He put his real address on it and stamped. Then he took it out to the mailbox.

 

Apparently, it had taken him longer than he thought to get it done because as he walked back inside, the phone was ringing with Cas on the line. Checking his watch, Dean realized he must be on his afternoon break.

 

“Hey, Cas,” he greeted him warmly.

 

“Hello, Dean. I got your message. I’m very happy you feel the same,” Cas told him with a smile audible in his voice.

 

Dean chuckled. “You know, I’ve probably read your letter six times already, so I’m pretty happy myself.” He switched ears and asked, “Can we, uh, have dinner tomorrow? Maybe catch a movie or something?”

 

“I’d like that very much. Although, if you don’t mind, I’d rather do something else afterward.”

 

“Yeah, sure, I don’t care what we do. I just want to spend time with you,” Dean told him sincerely.

 

“I feel the same, Dean. I just think a movie in a theater is not very good for conversation.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya, Cas,” Dean said with a laugh. “So what else?”

 

“Well, we could – oh, I’m sorry, Dean, my break is almost over. Can we talk about it tonight?”

 

“Sure, Cas. Talk to you later.”

 

“Good bye, Dean.”

 

Dean was in a good mood the rest of the afternoon. He even got more work done than usual, so he was able to stop early. That gave him time to look for alternative activities for his date with Cas the next night. He was more excited about this thing with Cas than he’d been about anyone in a long time. Just before 5:30, he decided he couldn’t hold it in anymore and he sent Sam a text.

 

**Just wanted to let you know, I met somebody.**

**So you can stop worrying about me now, ya big baby.**

Dean wasn’t expecting a response any time soon and he hadn’t gotten one by 6:15, when Cas finally called him back.

 

“Hello, Dean. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to call sooner, but I had too little for lunch. Getting something to eat took precedent. Did you have a good afternoon?”

 

“Yeah, it was really productive. Not only did I get a lot of work done, but I found us a thing to go to tomorrow after dinner,” he told Cas happily.

 

“Oh, dear. You sound very excited. I actually found something myself. Tell me yours, though,” Cas said.

 

Dean pursed his lips. “Well, we can do your thing, but I think you’re gonna like my thing.” For a second, he heard how that sounded and almost laughed, but he somehow knew Cas wouldn’t get the innuendo, so he held it in. He cleared his throat. “Uh, you know the science museum on 5th? They’ve got a bee exhibit, dude!”

 

“Oh, I read about that last month, but I didn’t realize it had already started! Still, I think you’ll like what I found, too,” Cas said hesitantly. “There is a classic car expo near my office.”

 

Dean thought for a minute, then he said, “I have an idea. The museum closes pretty early, so we wouldn’t get much time there on Friday night if we went to dinner first. So how about we go to the car thing on Friday after dinner and then Saturday we can spend as long as you want at the museum?” Some part of Dean paused to wonder whether it was weird to ask for two dates at once, especially so soon, but the rest of him ignored it.

 

The happiness in Cas’ voice said he’d done the right thing. “I think that’s a wonderful compromise,” he agreed. Cas gave him the address of his office so that they could meet there when he got off work. “There’s a very good Italian restaurant nearby, if that’s all right with you for dinner.”

 

“The day I can’t eat Italian food is the day they bury me, Cas,” Dean assured him with a smile.

 

“Oh, I hate to do this twice in one day, but it’s my brother on the other line. I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow after work?”

 

“Can’t wait, Cas. Bye.” After he hung up, Dean didn’t stop smiling for an hour.

 

****Chapter 9

 

Castiel was certain that Friday was the longest day of work he’d ever lived through. He’d been aware since the moment he woke up that today was the day of his date with Dean. The first date of two and that made it even better. Work, which was never his favorite place to be, seemed even more tedious than ever before, full as he was of the knowledge that he had somewhere much better to be.

 

In his whole life, he’d never met anyone like Dean. Dean was funny and smart and sweet. He teased, but he was never cruel. Castiel never felt like mocking him when he didn’t know something. Rather, Dean seemed to find it charming that Castiel was so ill-informed about pop culture. And the man obviously enjoyed teaching Castiel about all the things he’d been missing.

 

Lunchtime didn’t feel like the reprieve it normally was, simply because it meant Castiel was only halfway to the end of the day and still had hours yet until he could see Dean. However, when he sat in his car to consume his solitary meal, he checked his phone and found a text from Dean, telling him he could call on his break, if he wanted. Ignoring his food, he dialed before he could talk himself out of it.

 

“Hey, Cas! Sorry, I know we’ll see each other tonight, but…well, honestly, I’m a little bit nervous, so I figured if I talked to you, it would help.”

 

“I’ve been nervous myself. To be honest, I was dreading lunch until I saw your message. Then I was happy to be at lunch.” Castiel smiled to himself as he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders.

 

“Yeah? Well, I’m glad. Man, I wish it was 5 o’clock already. I’m sure you do, too.” Castiel heard shuffling on the line, then Dean spoke again. “I wish you could become a mellitologist or…you know, whatever you want to do.”

 

The sincerity in Dean’s voice meant a great deal to Castiel. “I appreciate that, Dean. Perhaps one day.” He didn’t believe it, but there was no reason to say so. “And I hope that you will be able to work out your royalty problems so that you can earn the money you deserve.” He hesitated, then admitted, “I read your book again. I haven’t even gotten around to reading the others yet.”

 

“Thanks, man. Gabriel actually called me earlier. I’m supposed to meet with him next week.” Dean took a drink of something. “How long do you have for lunch? I don’t want you to be late or anything.”

 

“I still have a few minutes to talk, Dean, but thank you for your concern. How are your columns coming? I particularly liked the one that came out the other day, where you helped the parent with the depressed child,” Castiel confessed.

 

“Yeah? I hope I helped. My little brother had similar problems when he was a kid, so hopefully the same stuff will work, you know?”

 

Curious now, Castiel asked, “Do you get a lot of questions that don’t make it into the column?”

 

“Not really? I mean, yours, obviously,” Dean said with a laugh. “And sometimes it will be a question really similar to another one I’ve answered, I guess, but usually I’ll just post the old answer with the new version of the question.”

 

“Well, I’m certainly glad I was the exception,” Castiel told him, smiling. “Do you always remember that you’ve answered a question? I would think that would be difficult to keep track of.”

 

Dean laughed again. “Sometimes I remember, but we’ve actually got software that checks for that. Weird, right?” He cleared his throat. “Well, Cas, I guess I’d better let you get back. I need to get back to work myself, anyway.”

 

“I’m happy you asked me to call, Dean. I am much less nervous now. I’ll see you soon, ok?”

 

“Same here, Cas. See you soon.”

 

Once they hung up, Castiel ate his lackluster meal with a smile fixed on his face. The rest of the day went much more quickly. On his afternoon break he went down to his car and retrieved the change of clothes he’d brought with him. He didn’t enjoy having to get dressed in the men’s room, but he knew if he’d worn his date clothes to work he’d have gotten some sort of stain on them. With less than an hour and a half to go, he thought surely he could keep clean.

 

His nerves returned during the last half hour. He punched out three minutes early, unable to sit in his seat any longer. Then he rushed downstairs, ignoring everything around him in his hurry to reach the outside. He expected to wait, but to his surprise, Dean was waiting right out front, leaning against the passenger door.

 

Both their faces broke into smiles when they saw each other. Castiel managed to keep himself from running toward Dean, but the impulse was there. When Castiel got close enough to the car, Dean stood up straight and opened his arms for a hug, which Castiel stepped into gladly.

 

“Heya, Cas,” Dean murmured in his ear. Castiel didn’t think there had ever been anyone in his life who had ever been as happy to see him as Dean seemed in that moment.

 

“Hello,” Cas answered as they pulled apart. He took in Dean’s black slacks and button up shirt. “You look very nice.” He smelled nice, too, but Castiel kept that to himself.

 

“You look amazing. You should wear blue all the time,” Dean said, stroking the arm of Cas’ sweater with one finger.

 

Castiel looked away, smiling, unused to compliments. “Shall we go to dinner?”

 

Dean seemed to remember where they were. “Yeah, let’s go.” He unlocked and opened Castiel’s door and then walked around to his own side. “Where to?” he asked and Castiel gave him directions to the Italian place.

 

Over dinner, they talked more about cars and Dean’s column, until Dean insisted they talk about Castiel. “I’m glad you think I’m so fascinating, Cas,” Dean said with a chuckle, “But I wanna hear about you, too, you know. Tell me about _your_ job and _your_ hobbies.”

 

“My job is the most boring job in the world. The money is good, but I hate work more every day,” Castiel admitted.

 

“Is the money good enough you could save up and go back to school? I mean, you could probably get a loan for that, right?” Dean asked as their tiramisu arrived.

 

“I’m not certain. I suppose that is an option to consider.” He took a small bite of his dessert before speaking again. “At any rate, we’ll spend a lot of time with the bees tomorrow and I will tell you all about those. I did read a very good book recently that I’d be happy to talk about,” he teased.

 

“Cute. I’m serious, Cas. Tell me about other books you’ve read or something. Or maybe you got something interesting in the mail?” Dean asked, seeming nervous for the first time.

 

“In the mail?” Castiel asked in confusion. “No, I haven’t checked my mail in a few days. My subdivision has communal mailboxes and they are in an inconvenient location to drive by on my way to or from work.”

 

“Ah. Well, you should, um, check it soon. You know, just in case. You never know. Man, this tiramisu is good.”

Castiel gave Dean an appraising look, but Dean avoided eye contact, so Castiel decided to drop it. If Dean didn’t want to explain why he wanted him to check the mail, Castiel wouldn’t press him on it.

 

Castiel was fascinated by the car expo. He had seen many classic cars, of course, but he’d never before been able to see them with someone so knowledgeable on hand to educate him on their differences and features.

 

“This one is Plymouth Roadrunner. Not quite as good as a Challenger or a Barracuda, but still a really sweet car.” Dean pointed at Castiel and said seriously, “Don’t tell the Impala I said that.” Castiel laughed and Dean looked sheepish. “Shuddup.”

 

When they were done with the cars, Dean invited Castiel back to his house for coffee. Castiel hesitated and saw Dean’s face grow concerned.

 

“Hey, Cas, I’m not rushing you. I really do just want to keep talking. It doesn’t have to be more than that, I swear,” Dean hastened to assure him.

 

Castiel was instantly contrite himself. “No, Dean, that’s not…” He ducked his head and looked up at Dean through his lashes. “I just really want to know what I’ve got in the mail,” he admitted.

 

Dean bit his smiling lower lip and looked away. “I could drive you over there on the way back to my place,” he suggested after a moment.

 

Castiel nodded, grinning. “That sounds good, Dean.” He paused, looking out the window as Dean backed out of the parking space. “And for the record, I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t turn into more than talking,” he told Dean quietly.

 

Dean didn’t stop smiling until Castiel was getting out of the car to get his mail. When he got back in the car, however, Dean was biting his thumbnail nervously and staring out the windshield. Castiel shot him a few looks, but he was focused on his letters.

 

Finally, he reached the one addressed in Dean’s handwriting. He slid his finger under the flap and did his best to pry it open without tearing it. As he read the words, his eyes widened and he brought his hand up to touch his lips, disbelieving. Dean had yet to drive away or look his direction. Castiel thought he understood why. He read the letter again, then one more time.

 

“ _Dean_ ,” he said breathlessly. “This is…no one has ever…” Unable to find words to respond to Dean’s words, Castiel instead threw himself across the car to embrace Dean tightly. “Thank you,” he whispered against Dean’s neck.

 

“I meant it all, Cas,” Dean said, pressing a kiss into Castiel’s hair. “I think you’re the best, man. It’s never been this easy being with anyone before. Actually, up until I met you, honestly I kinda thought I was broken.” Castiel felt rather than heard his small laugh.

 

“I guess I wrote to the right person for advice, then,” Castiel said with a smile as they separated.

 

Dean chuckled again. “Yeah, I guess you did, Cas.” His hand came up to cup Castiel’s cheek. “I’m really glad you did, too,” he said as he removed his hand and finally pulled away from the curb. “Let’s get back to my house so I can show you how glad I am.” He grinned then and explained, “I’d just kiss you right here, but I don’t wanna scare your neighbors if you start screaming my name.” He winked to show he was teasing and Castiel laughed.

 

A little while later, as they lay entwined on Dean’s couch, Castiel realized Dean hadn’t been far off the mark. He was practically moaning and all they had done was kiss. When Dean’s hand landed on his hip, a thumb sliding tantalizingly under his waistband in a gentle caress, Castiel was torn for only a moment.

 

His mind recalled the poem Dean had written and he broke the kiss to whisper, “Touch me, Dean.” The hand on his hip tightened and Dean groaned as he kissed him even more deeply.

 

****Chapter 10

 

Dean was a little worried about how nervous he was while Cas was reading his poem, but when Cas launched himself at Dean, he relaxed completely. He had it bad. He was falling for Cas, fast, and he knew it. It wasn’t like him at all, but it was the happiest he could remember being in his life, so Dean wasn’t sure he cared.

 

Laying on his couch kissing Cas was pretty much the best thing ever. When he heard Cas’ whispered command to touch him, though, Dean thought maybe there could be one or two things that were slightly better. Then he stopped thinking at all as he followed through with Cas’ request.

 

He shifted his hips until his erection was aligned with Cas’ and then he gently rubbed them together. There was more pressure than friction on the first pass, but it was enough to make Cas gasp beneath him. Dean repeated the movement, this time dragging his crotch more slowly over Cas’ and pulling a groan from him.

 

“I know you want to make it last, but…please, Dean, can we at least be naked for that?” Cas asked him in a dazed voice.

 

Dean kissed him at that and then stood up. Without hesitation, he pulled off his shirt and kicked off his shoes. Cas just watched until Dean began pulling off his socks. Then he, too, started removing his clothes. When they were down to their boxers, they both hesitated for a second.

 

Dean suggested, “How about we move into the bedroom?”

 

Cas nodded and Dean held out a hand for him to take. He pulled him up and into another kiss. He walked backwards toward the bedroom as they kissed, Cas following along with minimal stumbling on either of their parts. Dean had to feel around to find the doorway, not wanting, still, to take himself out of the kiss.

 

Then he was sitting on the bed, with Cas stood between his knees. The high bed meant Cas was still at the perfect height for kissing, so that Dean, for a change, actually had to lean up into it. He hoped it gave Cas a feeling of control that Dean suspected Cas, with his lack of experience, probably needed.

 

His hands were on Cas’ back and he slid them down as the kiss continued, until his palms rested on Cas’ hips. Then he dipped his fingers into the waistband again and, when Cas did not protest or move to stop him, began sliding Cas’ boxers slowly down and over his hips and ass. He kept the front pulled out so it wouldn’t catch on Cas’ cock. When he got to Cas’ thighs, he let them go and they fell to the floor with soft sound.

 

Dean stood then and remove his own boxer briefs, still maintaining the kiss. When they were both naked at last, he sat back down and shifted until he was lying back on the pillows, pulling Cas toward him. He directed Cas until Cas was straddling him, again in a position of power.

 

“Dean, I appreciate what you’re trying to accomplish, but I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not…comfortable being on top like this.”

 

Cas said it all in a rush and as the meaning of the words trickled through his arousal-slowed brain, Dean truly realized for the first time that Cas was a virgin. He gently rolled him over then. Rather than straddling him, though, Dean slid half next to him and half on top.

 

“This better, sweetheart?” he asked softly. Cas’ eyes were wide and then Dean noticed he was shivering. “You cold, Cas? Or scared? Coz if you’re not ready, we’ll stop right here –“

 

“No, Dean, I’m not scared. Just a little cold and maybe nervous, but I want this. I want you. Ok?”

 

Possibly to prove his statements, Cas reached between them and wrapped his hand around Dean’s cock, awkwardly stroking it. It wasn’t perfect, but it was still amazing to feel someone else’s hand – Cas’ hand most especially – touching him. He leaned in for a kiss and helped Cas adjust his grip, taking Cas in his own hand and ripping a moan from him.

 

“Have you ever done _anything_ before, Cas?” Dean asked as he worked his mouth over Cas’ neck. “Has anyone ever touched you like this before?”

 

“Some high school fumbling,” Cas admitted breathlessly. “Never enough to…” he began, then seemed to get lost in the moment and forget he was speaking when Dean swiped his thumb under the head of his erection.

 

“Nobody came?” Dean prompted, taking an earlobe between his teeth and suckling it gently. He knew his breath was heavy in Cas’ ear and he hoped Cas enjoyed that as much as he always had.

 

“What? Oh, yes, right.” Cas turned his head, silently instructing Dean to move lower down his neck. Dean started mixing up his hand movements on Cas’ cock until Cas’ eyes went wide. “Oh, Dean, that feels so good. It’s…fuck…it’s so much better than when I do it.”

 

Cas caught on quickly and started mimicking some of the things Dean was doing with his hand. His intense attraction for Cas, combined with his excitement over being the first to really touch Cas had him close already, so it only took a few of his own special moves being parroted back on him before he was on the edge.

 

“Cas, I’m close, man. If you want this to last you should –“ Cas sped up the movements of his hand and Dean was coming with a shout, leaving white streaks on them both.

 

Dean pressed close and kissed Cas, letting go of his cock for the moment as he took a few seconds to breathe through the afterglow. Then he kissed his way down, stopping at one point to taste himself on Cas’ skin. Cas groaned and made a pleading sound that might have been words in his brain, but was just gibberish in the air.

 

Dean wrapped his hand around Cas’ shaft again and stroked lightly. “This what you need, Cas? Huh? Or maybe you might like this better,” he said, dipping down and sliding his tongue around the head before slipping Cas’ full length into his mouth.

 

“Dean!” Cas shouted, now fully able to form words again. “Dean, that’s…fuck, please, Dean, I need…”

 

He had mastered words again, but not sentences. Luckily, sex was a language Dean understood well and he gave Cas exactly what he needed, even though he couldn’t quite ask for it. Dean tried to draw it out and make it last for Cas, but even so, it wasn’t long before Dean saw and felt the signs that Cas was close.

 

Dean pulled back and looked up at Cas, who was looking right down at him. He stroked with his hand, using his tongue on just the underside of the head and watched as Cas held his gaze while he fell apart. He sat straight up with a hoarse cry when the orgasm took him, and Dean sucked him in again in order to swallow it down.

 

“Dean,” Cas whispered helplessly when it was over and Dean quickly climbed up to gather him to his chest.

 

Cas clung to him, shivering again. Dean pulled the blanket up over them, even though he didn’t think it was the cold this time. He pressed kisses to Cas’ head and gently massaged him with his hands until his breathing evened out. After a few more minutes, Dean fell asleep, relishing the feeling of being wrapped up together with Cas.

 

When Dean woke up the next morning, he found Cas staring down at him. “Good morning, Dean. I’m sorry for staring,” he said, although he didn’t stop.

 

Dean grinned. “It’s ok, Cas. I don’t mind. I kinda like staring at you, too.”

 

“Oh, good. You’re very good looking. It’s almost incredible how good looking you are.” Dean searched his face, but Cas seemed to be completely serious.

 

“Wow. Um. Thanks, man. I, uh, I mean, you’re good looking, too, you know.”

 

“Hm,” Cas murmured helpfully.

 

“Well, hey, look,” Dean said, pulling away to get up, suddenly uncomfortable with the scrutiny. “How about I make us some breakfast, huh? Or we could go out, if you want.”

 

“If you don’t mind making breakfast, I’d prefer that. That way perhaps you’ll have some time after breakfast to teach me more of the kind of things you were showing me last night,” he said in his even-rumblier morning voice. This time, Dean could see that there was a definite teasing light in his eyes.

 

He leaned back down for a quick, chaste kiss. “That is something we can definitely make time for,” he promised. After their morning ablutions, a hearty breakfast and quick showers, Dean kept his word.

 

When they finally made it to the museum, they headed straight for the bee exhibit. There was meant to be a guided tour that began at 1PM, but by 1:15, the guide still had not shown up to the area.

 

Cas, possibly assuming Dean was bored, pointed into one of the exhibits, where a  bee hive had been set up for viewing. The bees could leave the hive – and the building – by a series of tunnels.

 

“You see that one bee there, shaking around in front of that other group?” he asked Dean.

 

“Where? Oh, wait, yeah, I see it.”

 

“That bee is giving the other bees directions to find food,” Cas explained. “If the forager were only dancing in a circle, it would mean the food was close by, but since she’s doing a little waggle in the middle, it means the food is farther away.”

 

Dean noticed a group of kids who were also waiting for the tour with their parents were listening to Cas as he continued explaining facts about the hive and its inhabitants. Cas didn’t notice until one little girl came up and tentatively asked him a question.

 

“Excuse me, sir?”

 

“Y-yes?” Cas answered, bemused.

 

“My teacher said bees die if they sting someone, is that true?” It was obvious the idea made her sad.

 

“Were you stung?” Cas asked gently, squatting down to speak with her.

 

She nodded, sniffling. “He landed on me and I swatted him by accident.”

 

“Well, I’m sorry to say that it is true, but it’s actually a good thing. If bees were like wasps and could sting over and over again, they would be much more dangerous away from the hive. Plus, they’d need much more honey to sustain themselves, so there wouldn’t be any left for us,” he told her with a smile.

 

He stood up again. “The reason their stinger comes out is so that they can release the maximum amount of venom into the person or animal they believe is dangerous to them. But because of the danger to them, they only sting when they feel physically attacked and to protect the hive. Did you know it’s only the girl bees who can sting?” She shook her head. “Well, it’s true. Bees have an all female army and they give their lives to protect their Queen. They are very noble creatures, don’t you think?”

 

The little girl smiled at that and nodded again, stepping back over to grateful-looking parents.

 

For the next half an hour, Cas continued being asked questions and answering them with aplomb. He never saw the woman in the business suit who had walked up as he spoke with the bee-stung girl, but Dean did. He also didn’t know the lady watched him with an appraising look on her face, but Dean saw it and wondered who she was.

 

When Cas finished with the latest child he was speaking with, the woman finally interrupted. “Everyone, that concludes the question and answer portion of our tour, but if you will step into this room here and wait just a few minutes, we have some other exciting bee-related activities for you!”

 

The children filed into the room, but the woman stayed back along with Dean and Cas. Dean looked at her curiously, but Cas looked apologetic.

 

“I’m sorry, no one showed up and they started asking me –“

 

“Oh, please don’t apologize! The man who was supposed to give our tours today quit without notice and, if I may be frank, he wasn’t very good, anyway,” she confided with a smile. “Actually, I have been watching you this whole time and marveling at what a natural you are at this. Have you studied bees?”

 

“Not formally, but as a serious hobby, yes. I used to keep them, until my colony collapsed.” He still looked more worried and confused than anything, but Dean had a good feeling.

 

“Well, it’s quite obvious you know enough about bees to run this exhibit. As I am currently without a tour guide and you obviously have an affinity for these creatures, would you be interested in coming to work with us, Mister…?”

 

Cas looked stunned and Dean couldn’t help his smile. “But, it’s only a temporary installation, isn’t it?”

 

“Well, the plan was to try it temporarily and then, if it was as popular here as in other places, we would create a permanent exhibit. I believe with someone like you as curator in charge, we could make it that popular.”

 

As Cas struggled to find words, Dean stepped in. “He’s a little overwhelmed. Can he get back to you?”

 

She shook her head, smiling self-deprecatingly. “Yes, yes, of course, I’m sorry. I know it’s all very sudden and I’m sure you already have a job, I just…it excites me when I see someone who is as interested in science as I am.”

 

She stuck out her hand for Cas and then Dean. “I’m Lydia Bevins, the museum Director and Head Curator.” She reached into her pocket and brought out a card. “Please take the weekend to think about it and give me a call first thing Monday? I’m afraid any longer than that and I have to find someone else.”

 

She walked into the room where the children went then, leaving Cas and Dean, standing there dumbfounded.

 

****Chapter 11

 

Castiel was still in shock the next day. He’d followed Lydia into the other room and, once she was done leading the children in their activities, pulled her aside for another talk. Once he’d had time to absorb her offer, he realized there were other concerns in order for him to make a decision.

 

They’d discussed money – less than he currently made, but more than enough for his needs – and benefits, as well as the breadth and scope of what his job would entail. By the end of it, he was almost certain he would take the job, but he still wanted the rest of the weekend to decide.

 

He’d had a wonderful rest of Saturday with Dean, but he went home alone after dinner. He needed some time to himself to make the decision. Not that he hadn’t valued Dean’s input, which came in the form of “Takeittakeittakeit!” and a big grin. As he ate his breakfast, his phone pinged him with new messages.

 

**> Takeittakeittakeit! :D**

**> (no, seriously, dude, take it)**

 

Castiel smiled and shook his head. He finished his breakfast before responding.

 

**I’m not sure I’m clear on your opinion, Dean.**

**Perhaps if you explained again?**

 

He was in the middle of washing dishes when he heard the replies come in. When he checked it a few minutes later, he laughed when he read them.

 

**> Have I mentioned that you’re a smartass?**

**> (That’s hot)**

 

Rather than text him again, Castiel called him. “I do appreciate your opinion, you know,” Castiel said in lieu of a greeting.

 

“I know. I’m just excited that that happened. I mean, here you are, thinking you’re so bad with people and along comes this lady, says you’re a natural with the kids – which you are, by the way, but I mean, she actually _knows_ coz she does this crap for a living, right?”

 

“You thought I was a natural with the children?” Castiel asked, touched more by Dean’s assessment than Lydia’s.

 

“Well, yeah, dude. You were great with them. You kept that one little girl from crying and you got down on her level and everything. It was pretty badass, actually,” Dean told him.

 

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel said quietly. “That means…a great deal to hear you say.”

 

“Cas, I told you. You’re the best.” His tone turned teasing then. “You’re pretty hot, too, for a bee geek.”

 

Castiel realized in that moment that he was falling in love with Dean. Far too quickly than was prudent, but there was nothing to be done about the timing of it. It was fact and he was helpless against it. He was fairly certain he didn’t mind.

 

“I’m a geek? Hm. I think that term would probably apply better to the man with the crush on Indiana Jones,” he teased back.

 

“Only person I’ve got a crush on is you, Cas,” Dean said, all trace of teasing gone from his voice. “And it’s a bad one.”

 

“Good. Serves you right for making me have such a big crush on you,” Castiel told him, not quite managing as teasing a tone as he’d hoped.

 

“Worth it, then. Totally worth it. I’ll, um…I’ll see you again soon, I hope?” Dean asked shyly.

 

Castiel swallowed down his fear. “Are you busy right now?”

 

And so it was that Cas found himself with Dean for the third day in a row. It was a trend he liked very much. They were sitting on his couch, talking and trying to pretend – at least on Castiel’s part – that they didn’t want to rip each other’s clothes off. During a brief lull in the conversation, when Castiel was just wondering if it had been a long enough interval that he could now instigate the kissing, Dean suddenly leaned down to the messenger bag he’d brought with him.

 

“Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, I brought you a couple copies of my other books,” he said, pulling them from the bag and laying them on the couch between them.

 

Castiel was so pleased that he almost forgot his desire to kiss Dean for a moment. “Dean, that’s wonderful, thank you! I was actually planning on going to the bookstore this afternoon, but, well…” he said, smiling and shrugging.

 

“You invited a hot guy over instead?” Dean teased.

 

Castiel deadpanned, “Yes, and he’ll be here any minute, so you should probably go.”

 

Dean playfully shoved Castiel’s shoulder. “Oh, you dick!” he said, laughing. He tossed the books onto the coffee table and straddled Cas’ lap suddenly. “You got somebody else who kisses better than this?” he asked in a husky voice.

 

When Dean’s mouth pressed down, hot and wet against his own, it was just as magical as the very first time. His lips were already parted when they met Castiel’s and his teeth gently pushed against Castiel’s lips as his tongue swept into Cas’ mouth to find Castiel’s own.

 

Castiel wished he had Dean’s gift for writing, so that he could describe the way it felt to be joined at the mouth to another person. The heat and the pull of desire that seemed to build up between them, lashing them together and yet it was impossible to ever be close enough, even when they were skin to skin. There was a desire to meld, to fuse, to become a singular entity.

Cas knew there was one way they could join together, in as close an approximation of fusion as he thought they were likely to reach. He’d been anxious to try it ever since that first kiss, despite his need to take things slow. As the pleasure mounted between them and the heat built, he knew today was the day.

 

Pushing lightly at Dean’s chest to pull out of the kiss, Castiel told him earnestly, “Dean, when we have sex this time, I want you inside me.”

 

In response, Dean groaned and rolled his hips so that his rather obvious erection rubbed against Castiel’s own. “Do you know what you do to me, Cas?” he asked in a raspy voice. “Do you have any idea?”

 

Castiel bucked up against him. “Yes, Dean. The same things you do to me,” he told him as he grabbed Dean’s hips and pulled him down so that they could rut against each other for a  few moments while Castiel mouthed at Dean’s chest and collar bone. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

 

Dean rose off of him and Castiel took his hand, leading him down the short hallway and into the master suite. It was dominated by a large king sized four-poster bed. Without waiting for the request, Castiel started stripping down, starting with his shoes and socks and moving on from there until he was naked.

 

Dean just stood there, gawking at him for a moment. “You really are just the sexiest guy I’ve ever seen, Cas. I’ll die of lameness if I ask if you work out, so just explain to me how you got that body, please.”

 

Castiel smiled, both at Dean’s humor and the praise and turned to the bedside table as he answered. “I do yoga and I run when I can. Now please remove your clothes so I can see how beautiful you are again,” he instructed as he pulled lubricant and a condom from the drawer.

 

Dean pulled his clothes off more slowly, allowing Castiel the time to savor each newly revealed section of skin. By the time he was in nothing but socks, Castiel couldn’t wait anymore. Dean started to bend down to remove them, but Castiel stopped him.

 

“Fuck the socks, Dean, get on the bed with me,” he growled.

 

Once Dean had followed him up onto the mattress, Castiel dragged him forward into another kiss, this one much more fierce and much less tender than all the others that had come before it. His arousal had reached a fever pitch and he was feeling raw want the likes of which he’d never before experienced.

 

He passed the bottle to Dean. “Work me open, Dean, please,” he begged desperately as he lay backwards against the pillows.

 

Dean got down between his legs and started kissing him from knees to hips as he spread the lube against his fingers and warmed it up. Castiel watched him with hawk-like intensity, afraid to miss a moment of Dean’s lovely face.

 

Then Dean’s finger began teasing his hole and those green eyes bored into his own. It was such an intimate moment that the raw need was overtaken once again by something more poignant. The look on Dean’s face was definitely tender. There was passion there, too, but it was muted. This wasn’t just a sexual act, for either of them. It was an expression of emotion.

 

Castiel bit his lip and Dean slid half a finger gently inside him. Castiel gasped and Dean’s other hand rubbed gently circles on his stomach. When Cas was able to relax again, Dean pushed further, then pulled back out. He continued to work in and out like that, never breaking eye contact.

 

When Dean moved his hand from stomach to penis, Castiel was unaware that he’d added another finger until he felt them scissoring and twisting inside him, stretching him and getting him ready for so much more of Dean to take their place. He was unprepared for Dean’s fingers to locate and prod his prostate gland.

 

He’d experienced the sensation before by himself, but it hadn’t felt nearly like this. The eye contact Dean still had not dropped made every sensation heightened and the fireworks feeling of pleasure that the prodding caused was certainly no exception. He could feel tears forming in his eyes as his body became almost overwhelmed by the intensity of it all.

 

“Now, Dean, now, I’m so ready, please,” he begged, holding that eye contact even though it was hard to do so with all the feelings his body was having. He was already shaking and close to coming.

 

Dean slid up closer, so that he could kiss him again, breaking eye contact at last when their lips met. He did not remove his fingers or stop working them inside Castiel, however. “Wanna make sure you’re ready, Cas. I don’t want to hurt you, ok? Bad prep can ruin everything, trust me.”

 

Castiel thought he would lose his mind before Dean decided he was ready, and he did wonder if he was still fully conscious by the time Dean’s fingers withdrew. Still, when Dean positioned himself and made ready to enter Castiel for the first time, Castiel was wide awake and present for the moment.

 

That steady green gaze was on his again, locking him in. They both made separate noises of pleasure when the head of Dean’s cock pushed inside his hole. Castiel had expected at least slight discomfort, but there was really only the strangeness of having something inside him for the first time to adjust to. Dean had prepped him well.

 

Dean pulled back and pushed forward again, rocking back and forth until his hipbones were flush with Castiel’s quivering ass. Once that happened, Dean found a steady rhythm and occasionally shifted the angle so that those fireworks lit up inside Cas again.

 

With every thrust, with every second that that green gaze held, Castiel knew he was falling further and further in love with Dean. They were connecting on a level that transcended the physical and even the mental. Castiel felt like their souls were joining.

 

He knew it was ridiculous, but it felt true, anyway. He knew the tears were leaking out of the corners of his eyes and he was powerless to halt their progress. Dean’s own eyes, however, were glassier than usual, too, so Castiel thought it was all right.

 

“Cas, I – oh, fuck,” Dean gasped, starting to orgasm. He reached between them for Castiel’s cock and stroked him expertly, bringing him to climax quickly as Dean’s hips continued bucking erratically as he worked through his own orgasm.

 

Castiel was emotionally overwhelmed by his intense orgasm, by the experience and by the man lying atop him. Without meaning to, he sobbed out, “That was amazing. I love you, Dean.” Then both men froze.

 

****Chapter 12

 

“That was amazing. I love you, Dean,” Cas said and Dean’s heart stuttered to a halt.

 

Dean froze in place and felt Cas do the same, as if he hadn’t meant to say the words out loud. And he realized that his instinct was to make Cas feel better, instead of wanting to run. Dean thought for a moment, wondering why he wasn’t more scared of what Cas had said. They had only just met for real a little over a week ago.

 

After a second or two, it hit him, and he realized exactly why he wasn’t scared. Then he was surging forward and half-crushing Cas’ mouth under his, trying to relay the depth of his own feelings via forced osmosis.

 

When he pulled back, he was breathless and shaky. “Me, too, Cas,” he whispered. “I know it’s too soon and it’s crazy, but I do.”

 

“Oh, thank God,” Cas said, delivering his own crushing kiss.

 

They kissed and caressed each other until they were ready for another go around. This time, Dean let Cas top and came so hard he nearly blacked out. When he was semi-coherent again, he said, “I can’t decide which I like better, bottom or top. We should just take turns like this from now on.”

 

“Fuck,” Cas replied, breathlessly. Dean took it as agreement.

 

The next morning, after his meeting with Gabriel, Dean sent Sam a text, asking him to call when he got a chance. He was so excited about everything in his life right now, he couldn’t wait to tell his brother. He also couldn’t wait to hear from Cas about whether he’d taken the job. He’d left Dean’s house with the intention of calling Lydia and then quitting his job, but Dean didn’t know if he’d follow through or maybe give a couple days notice.

 

When his phone rang close to lunch time, it was Sam calling back. “Hey, man! I got some shit to tell you, dude.”

 

“Yeah?” Sam asked, laughing at his brother’s enthusiasm. “What’s up, big brother?”

 

“Ok, so I met somebody, I told you that.”

 

“Cas, right?”

 

“Yeah, Cas. He’s the best, man…wait, before I get into that, I gotta tell you the other thing. He’s got this brother who’s an entertainment lawyer. He’s been going through all my stuff, to see if he can get me a better deal.” Dean shifted the phone to his other ear. “And we had a meeting this morning and he’s already in negotiations with them. They’re supposed to have a new proposal by the end of the day, Sam!”

 

“Wow! Dean, that’s awesome!”

 

“I know, right? And Cas got offered this really great job at the museum, so his work is going great, too, or it will be, if he takes it, which I hope he will, but –“

 

“Dean? Dude, you’re talking like 100 miles an hour, what gives?” Sam broke in.

 

Dean took a deep breath, happy and excited, but still having a hard time saying the actual words. “I’m in love, Sam,” he said quickly. “I love him. Cas, I mean.”

 

“You…what? Dean, I don’t…” Sam, instead of being happy for him as Dean had expected, let out a deep sigh. “I know I’ve been after you to meet somebody, but…this is really fast. I mean, what do you really know about this guy?”

 

“What? Sam, I know plenty. I know he’s amazing. He’s smart and funny and sweet and…and fucking amazing, Sam. Yeah, it’s fast, but –“

 

“Dean, you’ve had maybe two relationships before. And how long did it take you to even get serious? You’ve only known this guy, what, two weeks?” Sam pressed.

 

“Sam. Listen to me. You’re right. It’s quick. I’m not disputing that, ok? But it’s different than anything I’ve ever had with anyone. It took me a long time to get serious before because _it never felt like this_ ,” Dean did his best to explain without getting defensive, hoping it would help Sam see that he wasn’t being rash and illogical.

 

“Dean, I’m glad you’re happy, I am, but…I’m worried, ok? You don’t really know this guy. He wrote you a fan letter. He could secretly be crazy –“

 

“Sam,” Dean said warningly. “I’m gonna stop you right there. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt because I know you’re just trying to look out for me, but don’t start insulting him when you don’t know him.” He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Just meet him, ok? Let’s get together and you and Jess can meet him and you’ll see. I guarantee you’ll see what I see, all right?”

 

Sam was quiet for a moment. “Ok, Dean. Yeah, I’ll see if Jess and I can get out there sometime this weekend.”

 

Dean hung up feeling unsettled. He wasn’t questioning how he felt about Cas. He was just surprised by his brother’s reluctance to accept that Dean knew what he was doing. Sure, he wasn’t an expert at relationships, but he wasn’t a child – or an idiot. If anything, Sam should have known that Dean letting Cas in so fast meant he was something special. Instead, apparently Sam thought it made Cas suspect, even though Sam was always the one who called him paranoid for being such a cynic.

 

When Gabriel called, it was just after 4:30. “Dean, Gabriel. Listen, they sent the offer, but I think we can do better, I really do. You can accept if you want, but I advise playing hard ball and making them come back with something better.”

 

Gabriel outlined the deal, which sounded good to Dean, but he’d ended up where he was by taking the first offer he got. “Hey, man, it’s whatever you think. If you really think they’ll come back with better, let’s hold out for better. I don’t wanna get screwed again.”

 

“Good man. We’ll talk again soon. I’ll make them sweat it out overnight and get back with them tomorrow. I’ll keep you posted, ok?”

 

“Sure thing, man. Later.”

 

It was after 5:45 before Cas finally called back. “Dean? I quit my job. I’m going to work at the museum!” He had obviously tried to keep his voice neutral, but excitement got the better of him quickly. “I waited until the end of the day to tell them because she wasn’t ready for me until tomorrow and I figure the extra pay couldn’t hurt.”

 

“You’re gonna be ok, right? Money-wise?” Dean asked in concern.

 

“Oh, yes, Dean, don’t worry about that. I have more than enough. I suppose my upbringing just made me overly frugal.”

 

“Well, I’m so fucking proud of you, Cas. I’m really happy about your new job.”

 

“Thank you, Dean. So am I. I can’t wait!” Then Cas apparently recalled that Dean’s meeting was that morning. “Oh, how did things go with Gabriel today?”

 

“Well, I got some good news, myself, actually. They came back with a pretty good offer, but Gabriel is pretty sure we’ll get a better one out of them.” Dean paused and then made himself continue. “Oh, and, um, I told Sam about us today.”

 

“Your brother? What did he say?” Cas asked, sounding cautious.

 

“He…well, he wasn’t as happy as I expected. He’s gonna come in this weekend with his girlfriend.”

 

“He thinks we’re rushing things,” Cas said, rather than asked.

 

“Yeah, actually.”

 

Cas sighed in Dean’s ear. “Gabriel said the same thing. He likes you, and he pushed me toward meeting you, but now he thinks you’re…I don’t know.”

 

“It’s the same with Sam. Here he’s been pushing me to find somebody all this time and I finally do and he thinks I’m moving too fast.” Dean shoved a hand through his hair in frustration.

 

“Gabriel said I was latching onto the first person that came along or words to that effect,” Cas admitted, clearly angry.

 

“Well, in Sam’s case, I know it’s just because he hasn’t met you yet. Once he meets you, he’ll see that you’re amazing and it’ll all be fine. Gabriel’s already met me, so I don’t know what to do there,” Dean said with a laugh. “But, anyway, when Sam comes in this weekend, he’ll see that he’s wrong.”

 

“Dean, I think that’s a bad idea.”

 

“Wait, what? Come on, Cas, we’ll get you two together this weekend, with Jess – who is probably already on our side, anyway – and we’ll change his mind,” Dean assured him.

 

“No, Dean,” Cas said firmly.

 

“Cas, if he meets you, he’ll see how great you are and stop worrying about thi-”

 

“If he meets me he’s going to hate me! Everyone does!” Cas yelled, voice breaking in the middle.

 

Dean was quiet for a moment. Then he said softly, “I didn’t.”

 

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas began.

 

“No, Cas, come on. I know you’ve had a lot of bad experiences, ok? I do. I get that. I’m not exactly a social butterfly, here. But Sam’s family and not just that, he gets me. He’s good people. And so are you. And he’ll see that.” Dean sighed. “I’m not going to force you. Just…please?”

 

“I don’t know, Dean. I know you think I’m not as bad with people as I make out, but –“

 

“Cas, you’re about to start a job working with the public because Lydia saw you with kids and thought you were great with them.” He waited a beat to let that sink in. “Don’t you think you can handle meeting my brother and his girlfriend?”

 

“Children are different,” Cas mumbled. “But all right. I will meet your brother and his girlfriend. If they don’t like me, you have only yourself to blame,” he told Dean half-jokingly.

 

Dean laughed. “It’s a chance I’m willing to take.” His phone beeped. “Oh, hey, that’s my editor at the newspaper. Talk to you later?”

 

“Yes, Dean. I…love you.”

 

“Yeah. I love you, too, Cas,” Dean said with a smile.

 

****chapter 13

 

Castiel fidgeted as he waited for Sam and Jess to arrive. Gabriel had tried to insist on joining them and Cas had been a bundle of nerves ever since. His brother could get him so wound up. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his.

 

“Hey. Relax, Cas. It’s gonna be fine, I promise you.” Dean squeezed his hand and stroked it with his thumb. “Jess is going to love you and so is Sam.”

 

“I don’t even know what to talk about.”

 

“Well, start with that awesome new job you’ve got. Then talk to him about those books you read. The ancient texts in other languages. Trust me, Sammy gets off on that shit, he will eat it up.” Dean grinned and snuck a fast, smacking kiss on Cas’ mouth. “Plus, he’s gonna see how happy I am and he’s not gonna be able to argue.”

 

Castiel smiled, then noticed a blonde woman and a very tall man walking their way. “Is that your brother and his fiancé?”

 

Dean turned and stood up. “Hey, beautiful!” he said, embracing the woman who could only be Jess. “Hey ugly,” he said, punching his tall brother on the arm. Then he turned back to the table, and Cas stood up, too. “Cas, this amazing creature here is Jessica, and this giant goober is my brother, Sam. Jess, Sam, this gorgeous guy here is my boyfriend, Cas.”

 

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Cas said as he shook both their hands.

 

They took their seats and Castiel noticed that Sam’s eyes had not left him. The waiter came and took their drink orders, and Sam was forced to look away at last.

 

“So, Cas, what do you do?” Sam asked as soon as the waiter had gone.

 

“Well, up until Tuesday, I worked as a financial analyst. But over the weekend, I was offered a job with the science museum. On Tuesday, I started work as the Curator in charge of their Mellitological exhibit,” Cas said excitedly.

 

“Bees? They’ve got a bee exhibit?” Castiel thought he detected excitement in Sam’s voice, but he wasn’t sure.

 

“Why the hell do you know what that means?” Dean asked, obviously a little annoyed that his brother had known when he hadn’t. Cas smiled at him and patted his knee.

 

“Dean, no one without a serious interest in bees or science is likely to know what it means. I suspect your brother has both,” Castiel told him gently.

 

“Actually,” Sam said, blushing slightly, “I do. Without bees, we pretty much couldn’t exist, Dean. I got a flier freshmen year about colony collapse –“

 

“Hey, that’s what happened to Cas’ bees!” Dean chimed in, and Cas gave him a surprised smile.

 

“That’s right. I’m surprised you remembered, Dean.”

 

Dean shrugged. “I pay attention when you talk, Cas.”

 

When Castiel turned back to Sam, the taller man was giving Dean and Cas a thoughtful look. “Um…what was I…right. I read the flier and I just got really interested in them. We’ll have to check out that exhibit.” He looked over at his fiancé and smiled sheepishly. “If that’s ok with you?”

 

She rolled her eyes affectionately. “Of course, you goof. Sounds like fun. Do you like the new job, Cas?” she asked just as the waiter returned with their drinks.

 

Castiel nodded eagerly. “Very much. I get to interact with the bees and teach people about them. It’s very fulfilling. I am off Sundays and Mondays, which is a bit of a change, but I don’t mind.”

 

“I’m proud of you. I think it’s great,” Dean said. “However, I have not eaten in many hours and I would like some food, so how about we check out these menus so we can order soon, huh?”

 

Cas wasn’t sure if it was genuine hunger or Dean’s way of taking the focus off Cas, but he suspected it was a mixture of both. Once they had ordered, conversation was less centered on him, though Sam did keep asking him questions throughout the meal. Most seemed designed to find out how well he knew Dean – or vice versa.

 

When dinner was over, they all decided to take a walk. He and Dean stepped out in front and Dean took his hand. Castiel looked at him in surprise, having expected him to be more reserved in front of his brother, but Dean just smiled at him. Then he bumped their shoulders and Cas relaxed.

 

Cas kept his head turned behind them to look at a particularly beautiful landmark. As such he saw a look between Sam and Jess that he supposed he wasn’t meant to see. He faced front again quickly before they caught him out, smiling softly to himself. If what he’d seen was to be trusted, Jess was already on his side and was convincing Sam to give him a chance.

 

Before Castiel expected, Dean had led them in a circle back to their cars. “You two gonna meet us back at the house for a drink?” Dean asked when they got to the Impala.

 

“Uh, yeah. Sounds good,” Sam said, with a flash of a nervous smile at Cas.

 

In the car a minute or so later, Dean said, “See? I told you. You’ve almost won him over. I can tell.”

 

“I think you might be right. Jess likes me, too, I believe,” Cas said.

 

“Oh, Jess loves you, yeah. Knew she would. She’s good people.” Dean laughed. “Sam’s good people, too, he’s just stubborn and thinks he’s right all the time.”

 

“He’s only looking out for you, Dean.”

 

Dean smiled to show he wasn’t upset. “Oh, I know, Cas. He’s my brother. That’s what we do. It’s just frustrating when I know I’m right and he doesn’t want to see.” He reached over and took Castiel’s hand again. “You’re making him see, though. It’s fast and you and I both know that, but it’s also right and he’s seeing that, too.”

 

Cas grinned and couldn’t stop the whole way back to Dean’s. Sam and Jess pulled in just as they were getting the door open. Dean opened the door and gestured Cas through.

 

“Hey, will you go and get us out some beers? I wanna talk to them alone for a sec, see if I’m reading things right, ok?”

 

So Castiel nodded and walked through to the kitchen. He easily located the beer, though his mind was elsewhere. He desperately wanted to know what they were saying outside. By the time he had the beers open and on the table, though, Dean was striding into the kitchen, with a big smile and a thumbs up that he was hiding from the couple walking in behind him.

 

“Hey, Cas got us all some beer,” Dean said, picking up a bottle and gesturing for Cas to do the same. As usual, he clinked their bottles together. Then he clinked with Sam and Jess in turn before finally drinking. Castiel hesitantly did the same.

 

Cas saw Jess nudge Sam, then she said, “Hey, Dean, where’s that thing you were gonna show me?”

 

Dean looked confused. “What thing?”

 

“That new edition of that movie, remember?” she said. It was obviously a ploy to get Dean out of the room, but she knew him well enough that it worked. Cas was nervous.

 

“Oh, yeah, the Collector’s Edition,” Dean said, and Castiel wasn’t sure if he was serious or just going along with her.

 

Regardless, he and Sam were left alone in the kitchen. Sam stared at his feet for a minute. Then Cas couldn’t take the silence anymore and they said each other’s name at the same time.

 

“No, wait, Sam, let me say something first, please.” He took a deep breath and thought of Dean and how it was with him. It made him relax. “I know you’re concerned about your brother. That our relationship is going too fast. That I’m crazy, perhaps.”

 

He laughed. “It _is_ fast, Sam. We both know that. But I’ve never felt what I feel for your brother for a single other human being in my life. I’ve never connected with anyone the way I connect with him. We seem to understand each other, without even trying.” He shook his head. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but when has love ever made sense?”

 

It was Sam’s turn to laugh. “Actually, Cas, I was going to say that I had reservations at first, but…well, I’ve seen you and my brother together tonight. I’ve never seen him like this with anybody.” Sam looked over his shoulder into the living room where Dean was talking to Jess. “I’ve honestly never seen him this happy. Not even when he published his first book.” He turned back and pinned Castiel with a look. “Just be good to him and you and I will get along just fine.”

 

Cas’ face broke into a smile so big it hurt his face. “I will be as good to him as I possibly can. I promise you that, Sam. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

 

Sam nodded, satisfied. Then he smiled and held out his arms. “Well, then. Welcome to the family, Cas.” Castiel stepped into the hug uncertainly, but Sam dragged him forward into a bear hug.

 

“Thank you,” Cas said breathlessly.

 

“Hey, you making moves on my man?” Dean teased, coming back into the room. The grin on his face somewhat ruined the effect he was going for, however.

 

“Yes,” Cas dead panned as he and Sam separated. “My apologies, Jess. Sam and I have decided to elope. We just couldn’t contain our burning passion any longer.” The flat look he gave Dean made all three of them laugh out loud.

 

“Ok, _Sass_ tiel, tease all you want, but you should know this guy totally hit on my first boyfriend,” Dean said, taking a swig of his beer as he came over to put an arm around Cas’s waist.

 

“I did not!” Sam said in an indignant voice about three octaves higher than normal.

 

Dean nodded as he swallowed. “Yep. Used some line about showing him his wrestling maneuver to totally try and put the moves on him.”

 

“ _Dean_!” Sam objected, turning red. “He was a _wrestler_ and he _asked_ me if I –“

 

Sam’s story was interrupted by hearty laughter from Jess and Dean. Cas just smiled behind his hand.

 

Sam made a frustrated noise and stomped into the other room. “I hate you!” he called behind him.

 

“You sure you’re ready to put up with us?” Jess asked Castiel with a smile. “We’re pretty ridiculous.”

 

Cas smiled and nodded. “I like ridiculous.”

 

“Well, obviously, since you’re dating my jerk brother,” Sam said, coming back in.

 

Castiel looked at Dean fondly and said softly, “Obviously.”

 

When Dean could finally tear his eyes away from Cas, he asked, “So, Sammy, does this mean you approve?”

 

“I still think you’re going crazy fast, but, yeah, I get it. I think Cas is good for you.” Sam pointed with the hand holding his beer. “So be good to him, all right?”

 

“No worries there,” Dean said, looking at Cas and pulling him closer. “I intend for Cas to stick around for a long, long time.”

 

****Chapter 14

 

Gabriel had insisted that if Sam and Jess got to interrogate Cas, he should get to do the same to Dean. Cas had only agreed once he saw that Dean didn’t mind. Since Sam and Jess were in town, though, they decided to just get the whole family meeting out of the way at the same time.

 

Cas had spilled something on his sweater, so he was off in the other room. That meant it was up to Dean to answer the door when Gabriel showed up.

 

“Hey there, Dean-o, where’s my – oh, uh, hi,” Gabriel said, as his eyes landed on Sam. He seemed flustered for some reason and Dean rolled his eyes as he tugged him into the room.

 

“Cas, your weird brother is here!” Dean called in the direction of the bedroom. “Come on in, Gabe. Glad you could make it. This is my sister-in-law-to-be Jess,” he said, pulling Jess over from where she’d been going through his movies.

 

“Hi, Gabriel!” she said perkily. “We love Cas. He’s the best.” She said it with a big smile, but then she leaned close and looked menacing. “And so is Dean. He and Cas are really happy together, so if you try to mess it up for them, I will end you.”

 

“Um,” Gabriel said. “Hi? Nice to meet you. I think.” He glanced at Dean then back to Jess. “I just want to make sure my brother isn’t going to get hurt.”

 

Jess gave him a huge smile. “Good! Then we shouldn’t have any problems. Sam, come meet Cas’ brother.”

 

“Uh, hey-hi, I’m, uh, I’m Sam,” Sam stammered and Dean looked at him like he’d grown another head. The guy was blushing for some reason and Dean rolled his eyes again.

 

“Maybe it’s _my_ brother who’s weird!” Dean called out to Cas in correction

 

“Hey, uh, Sam, I’m Gabriel. Cas’ brother.” Like Sam didn’t already know that.

 

“Okay, they’re _both_ weird! Get out here so it’s less weird!” He looked back at Sam and Gabriel, who were taking turns looking at each other when the other wasn’t looking. Jess stood nearby, looking back and forth between them and sharing meaningful glances with Sam and weird sizing-each-other-up looks with Gabriel. “You idiots want a beer?”

 

The three nodded absently, not really paying much attention to Dean at all. He stood there watching them for another minute. As he finally shook his head and started to leave the room, he heard Jess tell Gabriel, “You seem pretty interested in my fiancé, there, Gabe.” Then in what would have classified for a whisper if she were on stage, she said, “Lucky for you, we’re into that, right, Sam?.”

 

And, yeah, Dean didn’t want to know what that was about, especially after Sam yelped, “Jess!” in a scandalized voice. “Not in front of my brother!” he added through clenched teeth, though not quietly enough to keep Dean from hearing it.

 

Dean walked through the doorway without a backward glance. “Oh, thank God,” Dean said when Cas came into the kitchen right after him. “I’m pretty sure your brother and my brother and Jess – you know what? They’re weird. Never mind. Let’s not dwell on it. You want a beer?”

 

“Yes, please. What’s happening?” he asked as Dean handed him a bottle.

 

“Hey, Cassie,” Gabriel said, walking into the room toward them. “I take it back. It’s all fine. I like him,” he said, but he was still looking over his shoulder at Sam.

 

“Ok, whatever this weird shit is, will you two cut it out until your brothers aren’t in the room? Obviously your weird fiancé is cool with it, so, hey, not judging, but just…I don’t need to know, man.” Dean handed the other two men a beer without looking at them, then clinked with Cas before taking a long swallow of beer.

 

“Dean, why do you keep saying ‘weird’?” Cas asked, an adorable frown between his eyes.

 

Before Dean could answer, Jess said, “Dean, don’t be such a prude. Polyamory is a perfectly legitimate –“

 

“Uh-tut-tut, that’s fine, Jess, ok? Like I said, not judging. Just don’t wanna hear about it.” Sam made a face and Dean gave him a flat look. “Oh, ok. Do you wanna hear about what me and Cas get up to in _our_ bedroom?”

 

Sam frowned in distaste. “No.”

 

“Ok, then. That’s what I thought.” Then he turned to Gabriel. “So, you gonna grill me or what?”

 

“What?” Gabriel asked, tearing his eyes from Sam with obvious reluctance. “Oh, um, yeah, do you really love my socially awkward bro here or are you just jerking his chain for a laugh?” He managed to look intimidating, even though he had to look up at Dean. The perks of being an older brother, Dean supposed.

 

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas and smiled down into his gorgeous blue eyes. “I really love him, Gabe. He’s amazing.” He sort of got lost in staring at Cas and forgot the other people for a minute.

 

“Yeah, ok, ew. I fully get your point about not wanting to know. Could you stop mentally undressing my brother please?” Gabriel said with a comical shudder. Then he glanced back at Dean’s brother before looking at Jess. “Seriously, though, Jess,” he whispered, stepping over to her. “Here’s my number.” Then he, Sam and Jess were all huddled together whispering in the corner.

 

“I don’t think there is enough beer for this,” Dean said to Cas.

 

“On the positive side, their attention is not on us,” Cas said with a playful smirk. He cast his eyes toward the door and raised his eyebrows. “We could always sneak off while they’re otherwise occupied.”

 

Dean grinned. “You know, for a socially awkward bee nerd, you’re pretty hot. Not to mention a sexual deviant,” he said with a wink.

 

“Oh, you have no idea,” Cas promised. Then he dropped his voice so low Dean felt it reverberate in his ribs. “But if you follow me, I’ll be happy to show you.”

 

“Hell, yes!” Dean said as they raced out of the room.

 

They had no sooner gotten through Dean’s bedroom door than Cas had Dean shoved up against it, kissing him like he was starved for the taste. Before Dean could do more than register that he was hard, Cas was dropping to his knees. Dean reached over and turned the lock as Cas fumbled with the fasteners on his jeans. Then suddenly Dean’s jeans were around his thighs, his boxer briefs shoved down on top of them and his cock was free – though not for long.

 

Cas’ technique lacked finesse, but he had more than enough enthusiasm. Dean, normally shy about making noise when people were nearby, felt as though he had no control over the sounds issuing from his throat. Cas’ hot, wet mouth was perfect on his cock. There was a little too much suction and a little too much spit and Dean wouldn’t have changed a thing.

 

The fingers of one of Cas’ hands were toying with Dean’s scrotum, while the others were kneading at the meat of Dean’s right ass cheek. Apparently not content with that, Cas withdrew the hand from around Dean’s balls and brought it back to the other cheek. He used the grip to propel himself up and down on Dean’s cock, while Dean’s head thrashed from side to side.

 

When he looked down at the wicked erotic angel kneeling before him, swollen lips wet and red around Dean’s engorged cock, eyelids half-closed and pupils blown wide, Dean felt the pleasure inside him spike up to a fever pitch. He moaned Cas’ name and heard a small noise he didn’t immediately understand – or care about.

 

As lost as he was in the hot tug of desire throbbing down his dick, he only realized that the hands had let go of his ass when he felt one of them parting his cheeks. A cool, slick finger nudged at him and he rolled toward it, drawing it inside him. The unbelievably gorgeous feelings inside him spread and doubled. Now he was being pleasure back and front and he gave himself over to it.

 

Soon he was rocking back onto several fingers and forward into Cas’ throat and he barely knew where he was. Then he lost both sensations at once and nearly sobbed at the loss.

 

“Cas?” he asked brokenly.

 

But then Cas was raising Dean’s leg around Cas’ waist. When Cas entered him, Dean let out a sigh of relief and joy rolled into one. “Fuck, baby, so good, sooo good,” Dean murmured, barely aware of it. He was completely focused on the sweet bliss radiating through him from Cas’ cock.

 

Then Cas’ hand wrapped around _his_ cock and he moaned low in his throat. Nothing had ever felt this good. The spiraling tingles of ecstasy chased around his lower body, drawing in and pulling his balls up tight. He was on the verge of coming when Cas leaned in and kissed him. It tilted his pelvis just right on Cas’ cock and he came with a shout muffled only by Cas’ mouth.

 

The sounds Cas was making were obscene and Dean happily rode out the waves of his orgasm listening to them. Then Cas’ started pounding faster and harder, chasing his own release. When it crested he whispered Dean’s name like an incantation. He pressed Dean harder against the door for a minute while he caught his breath and Dean realized for the first time that there were sharp angles of wood digging into his back.

 

Ignoring the pain, he ran his hands through Cas’ damp hair and pepper his head and face with kisses. When Cas’ heart rate was back to normal he kissed Dean soundly and carefully pulled out, gently lowering Dean’s leg to the floor.

 

Dean leaned forward, away from the offending door. “Probably gonna have bruises,” he said with a laugh.

 

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry!” Cas said, turning Dean so that he could see.

 

Dean just laughed again. “Don’t sweat it, Cas. Totally worth it. If I’ve had better sex, I don’t remember it.” He pulled Cas toward him and kissed him again. “Look at it this way: every time I feel the twinges in my back, I’ll think of you.”

 

Cas smiled, pleased. “I don’t have much to compare it to, but it was the best of what I’ve had so far.”

 

Dean grinned. “Well, we’ll just have to make sure you get a lot more experience, won’t we?”

 

“This is an excellent plan,” Cas said.

 

“Mmm,” Dean said, walking Cas back toward the bed as he kissed his jaw and neck. “I say no time like the present.”

 

“Well, if you can convince my penis he’s had enough rest, I’m happy to go again, but you should top this time. I’m too tired,” Cas said as Dean lay him back on the mattress.

 

Before Dean could answer, his cell phone went off with a text. “Shit, I better check it. I kinda forgot about our brothers.”

 

Cas laughed at that. “I should hope so.”

 

“Pervert. Lemme see what Sam said.”

 

He grabbed the phone out of his discarded jeans and laughed out loud at the message.

 

**> We went to dinner without you. Asshole.**

 

“Looks like we’ve got the house to ourselves.” He put the phone away and turned back to the bed. “Now, where were we?” he asked, climbing up on the mattress over Cas.

 

*****Chapter 15

 

“I cannot believe you had sex with me in the house, Cas. That’s completely disgusting,” Gabriel said as soon as Cas picked up the phone.

 

“Says the person who hit on my boyfriend’s engaged brother,” Cas said flatly.

 

“Oh and the fact that it worked I guess is beside the point?” Gabriel asked.

 

“Obviously.”

 

“It was awesome, by the way,” Gabriel said, his voice dripping with innuendo.

 

“I’m so glad for you. The sex I was having with Dean while you were there was also exceptional,” Cas couldn’t resist saying.

 

“Okay, truce. Neither of us will discuss the incredibly hot sex we’re having with a super hot Winchester brother.” He dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “Or his super hot and surprisingly flexible fiancée.”

 

“I’m hanging up now, Gabriel,” Cas said in exasperation.

 

“Wait! I called for a reason. I can’t get Dean on the phone and I don’t know if he’s just busy or if he’s avoiding me. He’s usually home on Mondays, right?”

 

“I think he had a meeting with his editor today. That's probably why he’s not answering.”

 

“Oh. Ok. Then I’ll just send him another text. I don’t think he’ll mind me telling you this. We got another offer from the publisher. I’m going to recommend he takes this one.” Gabriel covered the phone and then came back on the line. “Hey, little brother, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

 

“I love you, Gabriel.”

 

“Love you, too,” Gabriel said before hanging up.

 

Cas was smiling when he hung up. He knew he would probably have bad days and that things were far from perfect. However, right now, at this moment, he was happier than he could ever remember being. He had a new job that he loved. He had a wonderful man in his life that he loved. He had made two new friends in Sam and Jess. And he and his brother were closer than ever.

 

Life was good. A month ago, he’d never have believed it could be like this. He was so glad he’d written that letter.

 

He had finally gotten around to buying copies of all Dean’s books. He pulled one from the bag at random and curled up with it on the couch. It was several hours later before he was done. He’d continued reading while he’d made himself dinner, watered his plants and taken care of other little chores.

 

He wasn’t as moved as he had been by _Laughing_ , but he had still been swept away by the book. His boyfriend’s mind was a wonderland and Cas loved getting lost in his words. Cas couldn’t wait to read the next one. He decided to send Dean a text, since he hadn’t heard from him all day.

 

**Just read Crying in the Closet. Loved it. Love you. :)**

Cas was settling into a warm bath when his phone rang. He smiled automatically when he saw that it was Dean.

 

“Hello, Dean.”

 

“Heya, Cas,” Dean said and his voice was warm and happy. “It’s been a heck of a day, lemme tell ya. It’s good to hear your voice.”

 

“It wasn’t a bad day, was it?” Cas asked in concern.

 

“No, just hectic. And a little sad, since Sam and Jess went home. I got good news, which was even better because it came after what I thought was bad news, but turned out to just be…news.” Dean laughed.

 

“You’re saying news a lot, Dean,” Cas teased. “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”

 

“Well, first off, is that Sam and Jess told me today how great they think you are. They went on and on about you, actually.” Cas could hear Dean shuffling around on the line. “Then I had that meeting at the newspaper. They’re dropping my column back to weekends, but they’re expanding it. So my work load is dropping a little, but my pay isn’t dropping that much.”

 

“I suppose Gabriel’s news was the good news?” Cas asked.

 

“Man, it is _really_ good news. He managed to get me a great deal. I not only get better royalties from here on out, but I’m getting some back pay too, going back to the original publication.” The excitement was palpable in his voice.

 

“Dean, I’m so pleased. That’s wonderful news.”

 

“Yep. And you know the best part? The lighter workload means I can take off Sunday and Monday every week. So I can spend time with my favorite person.”

 

Cas smiled, feeling warm all over. “That _is_ the best part. That makes me very happy, Dean.”

 

“You make me very happy, Cas,” Dean said seriously. “You know that, right?”

 

That warm feeling expanded. “I do. You know how happy you make me, don’t you?”

 

“I do now,” Dean said with a smile in his voice. “Oh, and by the way, your brother gave us our blessing when I talked to him earlier. So I guess there’s nothing stopping us, huh?”

 

“Then I suppose there is one thing I don’t understand, Dean.”

 

“Yeah? What’s that?” Dean asked, sounding confused.

 

“Why aren’t you over here with me right now?” He smiled and added, “I’m naked, by the way.”

 

“Well, as a matter of fact,” Dean said, then paused. Cas heard his doorbell. “I was on my way over to surprise you.”

 

Cas grinned and got out of the tub as quickly as he could without falling or dropping his phone. He hurriedly wrapped a towel around his waist and headed for the door. He took a deep breath and turned the knob.

 

“Heya, Cas,” Dean said into the phone and right in front of Cas.

 

Cas grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him in. He shut the door and dropped his towel before saying, “Hello, Dean.”

 

**1 Year Later**

Dean was watering the flowers in the backyard, surreptitiously stealing glances at Cas the whole time. He refused to wear the full protective gear of an apiculturalist – as Cas insisted Dean call it instead of beekeeper - instead opting only for the helmet and gloves with a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. That mean that his ass was shown off to good effect and Dean certainly wasn’t going to complain about the view.

 

However, today he was watching Cas for other reasons. He knew exactly when Cas had found what he’d hidden there. Cas started to reach for the next tray of hive and instead dropped his hand and stood staring for a minute. Then he carefully reached in and withdrew the envelope and ribbon Dean had placed there.

 

The envelope, which Dean had taken from Cas’ own stockpile of blue stationery, held a letter. The ribbon tied to it held a ring on its other end. Dean had picked it out with the help of Jess, Gabriel and Sam, but the engraving was all him. The inside of the ring read “Don’t be lonely. Just be mine. Love – D”

 

 

Dear Cas,

 

Honey, I’m so glad you got tired of bee-ing lonely.

 

I’m buzzing with excitement with how much I love you.

 

Bee mine forever? Hive been yours since the day we met.

 

Love,

 

Dean

 

Dean watched Cas walk away from the hive far enough so that it was safe to remove his helmet and gloves. Then he kept watching as Cas read the letter and pulled the ring off the ribbon. He saw him slip it on and then Cas looked up. A grin split his face from ear to ear.

 

“Is that a yes?” Dean yelled.

 

“Yes!” Cas yelled back, then started running. When they reached each other he pulled Dean into a rib-crushing hug and said, “Dean, those were terrible puns.”

 

“I know. I figured you’d only say yes if you really loved me.”

 

Cas pulled back enough to look at Dean’s face. “I really do,” he whispered.

 

Then he kissed Dean so thoroughly he almost forgot what they were talking about by the time the kiss was over. When he looked at Cas standing there in his arms, though, he remembered.

 

“You said yes,” Dean said, wonderingly.

 

“You asked,” Cas said with equal awe.

 

“Damn, I love you, Cas.”

 

“And I love you. Even if you make truly awful bee puns when you propose to me,” Cas teased as they shared a series of chaste kisses.

 

“Hey, at least I didn’t keep the one about how much I love your stinger.”

 

Cas made a disgusted face. “Is it too late to change my answer?”

 

“Hey!” Dean said indignantly. “Your weird brother suggested it!”

 

Cas smiled to show he’d been joking. “Shut up and let’s go have celebratory sex.” He did his best attempt at waggling his eyebrows. “Hope you’re in the mood to get stung,” he said in a seductive voice.

 

Dean laughed out loud. “You’re my favorite dork, you know that?”

 

“I’d better be,” Cas said with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave me words and thoughts and whatnot ♥

**Author's Note:**

> SPEAK SPEAK SPEAK!! (and thank you so much, as always, for reading) ♥♥♥  
> Follow my [author Tumblr](http://jamiedeanwrites.tumblr.com//post/118453611081/the-story-of-jax-and-dylan) for boys kissing, pansexual facts, book news and general shenanigans.


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